I did not smile on my wedding day

Last updated on: November 3, 2014 at 11:18 am by Posted by The Editors

I did not smile on my wedding day 2014-11-03T11:18:54-07:00 Posted by The Editors

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Editors’ Note: Happy 10th anniversary, Aisha & Kashif!

Unlike most girls, I never daydreamed about my wedding day. The marriage, yes, but the actual choosing the dress, cakes and caterers never appealed to me. Once I met Kashif, I daydreamed about the trips we would take, the dinners I might botch and the things we would discuss on our journey through life.

But the wedding? Not so much.

The thought of sitting on a raised stage with a velvet veil and 200 pairs of eyes staring at me, discussing my clothes, the groom, and whether the food was better than the wedding last weekend or the bride prettier or uglier than the one before, was not my idea of a romantic and beautiful ceremony. Me? I’d rather have stood on a beach, the ocean waves lapping in the distance with my close family and dear friends by my side while we committed to one another for life.

But at 21, raised in a tight-knit and far-flung Pakistani-American family I knew there was no point in trying to persuade my parents of a wedding any other way than the way they had always dreamed of. Besides, however I got married was irrelevant to me; I was marrying Kashif, this was what mattered most. If my parents found joy in the traditional, lavish wedding, I could give this to them as my joy lay in the marriage this wedding would give me.

Weeks after we got married, the wedding pictures arrived. I grinned as I popped open the box, and then promptly stared in horror as picture after picture showed not a bashful bride grinning on her wedding day, but instead, a girl in a lovely red grown, a beautiful groom by her side – and a frown the size of Montana.

My friends! I cried to Kashif. Our arranged marriage and quick courtship had already raised brows among my friends. They’re all going to think I was forced to marry you!

Yes, I wasn’t enthused about the pomp and circumstance surrounding my wedding, but I didn’t want it to show quite this much! I quickly tucked my wedding pictures away.

Sitting in our new house today in dusty jeans and a bright red top, I unpacked our final box and smiled as I pulled out my wedding album. It’s been ten years. Ten years ago I could never have imagined the life we would create together. While hiking the Sierra Nevada, sinking my feet into the grainy sands of Copacabana, and holding hands as we watched a Costa Rican volcano were all amazing experiences, it’s not this that defied my expectations.

Looking at my wedding pictures today I saw a girl who loved a boy, a simple love that through these past ten years has wound its way around every part of who I am. It’s a love borne of not just beautiful moments, but also difficult ones. The moments of pain so crushing I could only stand up because he stood by my side through every step. And it was in helping me learn to stand again, that the love found new ways to bring us closer in a way that welding broken pieces can only do. In these ten years that groom in the wedding picture with the white turban went from a boy I was learning to know, to a man I now cannot live without.

As I looked at my solemn wedding pictures today while my son napped quietly upstairs, I did not feel any of the remorse or horror I felt those ten years ago because while I did not smile on my wedding day, I’ve been smiling ever since.

—

Aisha Saeed was born and raised in South Florida. She is a teacher, attorney, and writer. She recently completed her first two novels. In her free time, Aisha enjoys traveling, reading, and blogging at Aisha Iqbal. She lives in Atlanta with her husband and son.

Love InshAllah writers

Previous Post

July 2, 2012

The Love Tour heads to Detroit!

Next Post

July 5, 2012 Interfaith Voices

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Brown Girl Dreaming Editors Flirting with Fate and other Disasters of an Intersectional Muslimah Food, Love, & Memories Friday Love Halal Since 22 Integrity of Heart Life After Death Literary Mama Literature Love Inshallah Podcast Love InshAllah writers Media My Infidel Husband Not Without Love Poetry Monday Radical Love Reflections & Readings Reviews of Love InshAllah Salaam Love Writers Sex & The Ummah Single in the City Spotlight Story & Chai Book Club The Geekologist The Love Tour The Male Gaze Things I Wish I'd Known Thoughts of a Wasat Girl Uncategorized Your Sunny Side Up Your voices

Select a Month May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What symbolic act did Jeremiah perform to show Judah's coming captivity?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Laid on his side Walked naked Wore an ox yoke Built a model city