Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Looking Closer

Home
Religious Music & Entertainment
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Last updated on: June 21, 2015 at 9:54 pm by Jeffrey Overstreet

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 2015-06-21T21:54:24-06:00 Jeffrey Overstreet

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Okay, I’ve just seen a promising 90-minute highlight reel for an X-Men movie. It was wild! A beautiful lake exploded, and Jean Grey came back from the dead! Magneto declared war on humanity! And the heroes were joined by a big, blue, furry fellow who sounds like TV’s Frasier!

Wait… that wasn’t a long preview? That was the movie?

X-Men: The Last Stand, directed by Bret Ratner, achieves one clear objective. It establishes Bryan Singer, who directed the first two films of this series, as one of the great action movie directors working today.

Alas, we can only shake our heads and think about what might have been. Singer left the franchise to go and direct Superman Returns, leaving this third (and apparently “final”) chapter to Ratner. Oh how I wish Singer had stayed. He might have made this series the only saga I know to deliver three great installments in a row.

Okay, to be fair, Ratner’s direction here isn’t a disaster. In fact, he manages to sustain the look of the previous films fairly well, and he choreographs an army of characters through this complicated storyline without confusing the audience. But the script is far weaker, and Ratner isn’t able to conjure any truly memorable moments.

The Last Stand does have its share of big, noisy, even operatic sequences. The most arresting new character, Angel, who boasts a massive white wingspan that would make the angels in Wings of Desire sorely jealous, gets a great scene early in the film. But then the movie forgets about him, bringing him back for one moment of painfully contrived closure near the end. That’s Wasted Opportunity Number One.

Another eye-popping spectacle involves a levitating house with a hurricane inside, which culminates in a shattering, unexpected twist in the fate of the X-Men. But the special effects overpower the actors, and turn what should be a heartbreaking scene into so much sound and fury. The scene, like the scenery, falls apart. Wasted Opportunity Number Two.

Number Three involves Rogue, one of the two most interesting characters in the franchise. Here, she’s reduced to pouting jealously over her boyfriend’s infidelity. Anna Paquin’s expression of betrayal and dismay might be more of an act of rebellion against the movie’s mishandling of her character than an actual performance.

Wasted Opportunity Number Four: The first X-Men movies employed the characters’ powers in ways that revealed a great deal about their inner struggles. Here, Ratner seems more interested in using actors as projectiles than as characters. I lost track of how many times poor poor Wolverine was hurled into walls or trees.

The plot serves primarily as an excuse for scenes of mayhem, and Ratner’s mayhem is unremarkable. This time around, the villainous Magneto rounds up an army of mutants to try and eliminate a threat. “They want to cure us,” he declares, referring to the discovery of a mutant (Cameron Bright of Birth) who negates other mutants’ powers. “Well, I say they’re the ones who need the cure!” Okay, the X-Men comics aren’t exactly Shakespeare, but the series has inclined itself toward cultural relevance. And thus, these dramatic lines could be interpreted as a parallel to “de-gayification,” or to issues of “curing” various disabilities. Or it could be seen as raising the dilemma of a culture ruled by men who prefer conformity to diversity. But The Last Stand never really explores this territory. Like the villain, who wants his people to rush prematurely into war, the movie pauses for a few self-important lines on its way to to blowing stuff up.

There is so little modulation, and the pace is so frenzied throughout, we are never drawn into the characters’ stories enough to care much when big surprises arrive. When major characters start dying, we aren’t saying, “Oh, no! I can’t believe Jean Grey did that!” We’re saying, “Oh no! I can’t believe the screenwriters did that!”

What would have been different, had Singer stayed? I suspect he would have demanded a better script, one that allowed him to craft a more engaging storyline, sustaining the unconventionally substantial characterization developed in the first two films. The dialogue in this film is as flat as can of Sprite opened yesterday morning. And he would have slowed things down, giving the actors time to breathe during their scenes. The Last Stand has too many central characters, and not nearly enough time to develop them.

Further, we would have been allowed to see performances. Here, the actors have time to strike a pose and snap a line, and we’re on to the next thing. The only member of the team who really gets to act is Famke Jannsen, playing a resurrected and wrathful version of Jean Grey, but her story is so rushed and misguided that it’s hard to enjoy her work. Patrick Stewart is criminally underused. Hugh Jackman is reduced to smart-aleck lines in a character-devolution similar to Han Solo in Return of the Jedi.

Most unfortunate is the way that The Last Stand reduces the menace of Magneto. Ratner and company should have realized that it doesn’t make Magneto scarier when he wears that goofy helmet. And it’s almost embarrassing to see him escorted everywhere by a posse made up of unemployed members of Prince’s mid-80s entourage. When he speaks, I don’t sense that sinister intelligence that we encountered in the first two films. Even though the special effects impressively show us a younger Magneto this time around, he just seems like a grumpy old man. The whole Golden Gate Bridge routine–the film’s biggest special effects spectacle–seems to exist only so he can make a wince-worthy remark about “building bridges.”

Cyclops? Wasted. Mystique? Don’t ask. And what about the introduction of Beast, played by Kelsey Grammer? You can see Grammer’s potential in the part, but this film is too short to show us what he could have done with the character.

I had the privilege of visiting the set of X-Men: The Last Stand, and I watched Ian McKellen and Hugh Jackman face off in the woods. I’m grateful for the opportunity, and my friend who worked on the film is a professional’s professional. It was a fascinating experience and a memorable day. But it’s a shame to see so much energy invested in a film that either evaporates from your mind the moment you leave the theater, or, if you care enough, it makes you frustrated.

For me, the saddest thing of all is that this film’s failure will tarnish any future viewings of Singer’s great installments. Those films really felt like they were leading us toward something extraordinary. Instead, we get a culminating clash as surreal and anticlimactic as the showdown at the end of Ang Lee’s Hulk. Remember when Alien 3 came along and killed off all but one of the characters we had grown to care about right in the opening moments? As with that regrettable conclusion, I sat for the second half of The Last Stand wishing that we as fans had the power to send it back and say “do over.”

Alas, we’re stuck with this. The X-Men series almost earned that oh-so-rare triple crown. But this one limps along and staggers off the track early, leaving us to wonder what might have been. When Jean Grey starts gasping, “Kill me!” it’s like she’s the voice of the franchise, begging to be put out of its misery before things get any worse.

Previous Post

June 19, 2006

Through a Screen Darkly: It's Done!

Next Post

June 23, 2006 Rosenbaum Reviews "Three Times"

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Blog Bloggers on "Through a Screen Darkly" Browser Coming Soon Endorsements Fiction Books Film Forum Film Reviews Inspirations Interviews Journal Kindlings Muse Movie buzz Music Reviews Non-Fiction Books radio Reviewers on "Through a Screen Darkly" The Auralia Thread Through a Screen Darkly Through a Screen Darkly - Bonus Materials Top 10 (or 20 or 100) lists Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 July 2003 May 2003 March 2003 September 1999

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which battle did Jonathan, Saul's son, win using faith instead of army size?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Garrison of the Philistines Battle of Ramah Siege of Jerusalem Battle of Gilboa