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Living Out Loud

Is Singleness a Sign of Disfavor from God?

Last updated on: December 1, 2023 at 12:32 pm   by Margaret Y. Buapim

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Is Singleness a Sign of Disfavor from God? 2023-12-01T12:32:35-08:00 Margaret Y. Buapim

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Being Single is Not an Indication of God's Disfavor

Singlehood photo courtesy of Microsoft Stock Images

According to research, more than half of Americans are single. About twenty percent of those single Americans are Christians. Yet, in some faith communities, singleness continues to be seen as a stigma and viewed as an unfavorable position reflecting on the personality and character of the one who remains unmarried.

Is singleness a sign of disfavor from God? The bible does not teach this. The Apostle Paul remained single. Jesus Christ espoused the virtues of singleness. There are also examples in the bible of those who were dedicated to God and remained single, such as Jeremiah and the daughter of Jephthah.

God Originally Blessed Marriage

God originally blessed marriage with the first union of Adam and Eve.  His intention was for companionship and partnership between the pair and stated that the two would become one. Marriage continues to be an aspect of blessing according to God’s word.

There are definite benefits to marriage including the extra strength to defeat challenges and the privelidge of raising a family.  Yet, early in God’s word single women were not ignored and their need for security was addressed by God. The daughter’s of Zelophedad appealed to God to be granted a property inheritance  because they had no husbands and their father had no sons. They were in danger of having no financial security under the law since their father had died. God wanted to hear their case and agreed with them. God showed in His decision that He cares for the plight of both the married and those who are unmarried. He has blessings for both.

Sometimes Singleness is a Season

For most, singleness is for a season. The bible gives examples of those who for a period of time were without a mate. It also exemplifies how their character development during this period of time aided them in being noticed by the ones who would later become their spouses. Examples are Rahab, the prostitute who later married Joshua, and Ruth, the widow who later married Boaz and became an ancestor of King David.

The season of singleness is a time to get to know one’s self, devote time to our relationship with God and our Christian ministry. It is also a perfect time for developing skills that will allow us to contribute to our family, and practice obedience to God while dating and looking for a mate. It does not have to be a time of loneliness and inactivity. In fact, keeping one’s self active and caring for one’s body, spirit and mind can put one in a position to meet the right person.

It is also important that patience and reliance on God is developed. There is nothing wrong with asking for God’s assistance in finding the right partner, and for wisdom to find the opportunity to be in the right environments where that mate can be found. It was Ruth’s wise choice to work in the fields, obedience to her mother in law, and her choice to follow the true God that allowed her another chance at happiness after the death of her first husband.

Singleness is a Viable Choice

Both Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul spoke about singleness in positive terms. Both note that the single person does not share the same anxieties as the married person and can spend more time in their devotion to God. Provided that one can abstain from sexual sins, a choice of singleness is noted to be a gift from God.

In today’s world, the single person has the ability to pursue personal goals, achieve material success and not suffer the same stigma as was in bible times for not having a mate. In other words, Christian women today, do not have to lament about their future or ability to provide for themselves as women did at that time.

A single person can be happy and fulfilled and should remember that it is better to remain free than to marry the wrong person. Marriage, according to the bible, is to be a permanent bond until death, outside of certain circumstances.  It is wise to have a clear image of one’s goals in order to decide whether one should seek marriage or decide to remain single.

For Those Who Would Like to Meet Someone

We may decide that we would like to marry. Patience and prayer are essential. It doesn’t hurt to let friends and family know that we are open to introductions. A good choice is to join a reputable Singles Christian Ministry program. It is also essential to keep our eyes open to signs that the ones we meet are compatible and within God’s will for our lives.

Regardless of the time it takes to meet someone. Most will have the opportunity to marry. It is essential to obey God in order to have His favor on our union.

Whether single or married, each individual is precious to God. Our lives are blessed by Him, even in our single season. We can be sure to thank Him for life and opportunity whether we choose to marry or not.

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About Margaret Y. Buapim

Margaret Y. Buapim is a freelance writer and novelist. Her first novel, Ring Envy, is available wherever books are sold. You can read more about the author here.

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