Mass Friends: Do You Know Their Names?

Last updated on: March 12, 2015 at 4:45 pm by Lisa M. Hendey

Mass Friends: Do You Know Their Names? 2015-03-12T16:45:38-07:00 Lisa M. Hendey

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On Sunday, I sat in my usual spot at my home parish.

These days, I hesitate to call the center of the third pew “my spot” because I’m only in it about once or twice a month due to frequent travels.

But when I do worship on Sundays at our home parish, I’m a creature of habit. I have a variety of reasons for loving that particular pew. And I notice that those who sit around me seem to have their “pew spots” too.

But here’s a weird and embarrassing thing. Even though I’ve been sitting by these pewmates for quite some time, I couldn’t tell you 90% (or even more) of their names.

It’s sad.

This past Sunday, I went out of my way to try to change this situation little by little. I’ve decided to put myself out of my comfort zone. But it feels a bit painful and awkward. And that’s terrible.

And I’ve been asking myself these past few weeks if this really even matters. We feel like “family”, these pewmates and I. We’re there together enough that I know when one couple’s daughter is visiting or when a particular husband has to work the Sunday shift at his job. So does it matter if I don’t know their names?

Yes, I think it does.

Part of this is MY issue. I spend so much time online these days sharing my faith that I love that at my parish I’m anonymous and just another member of the Body of Christ. I don’t hide my work, but I would never want anyone at my Church feeling like I thought I was “all that”. I’m not.

But a comment today on this post about matchmaking has me thinking again about this issue. The commenter over there said:

Probably the best way for any member of a community to build that community is to make sure to make sure to get to know people around the community.

How can I help with this if I don’t know my community well enough myself? And I no longer think “it’s such a big parish” is a valid excuse for me to use. Also, I wonder if all of the socializing we do online around faith issues actually becomes “enough” for us, so much so that we’ve replaced our “community” within our home parishes with a virtual one.

I’d love your input on this one. Has this been an issue for you? Do you have your spot staked out? Do you “know” the people who sit around you? Or do you mix it up and introduce yourself to new pewmates every Sunday?

Please chime in!

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