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Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls

6 Types Of Baggage That Ruin Relationships

Last updated on: May 21, 2018 at 12:38 pm   by Lisa

6 Types Of Baggage That Ruin Relationships 2018-05-21T12:38:05-04:00 Lisa

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Identifying Your Baggage

Here are some of the most common types of emotional baggage that need to be addressed:

1. You have unresolved feelings of love for your ex-spouse or another past love

2. You have “damaged goods” syndrome (feeling as if you’re not worthy of someone’s love)

3. You have a strong desire to see your ex-spouse fail

4. You have an unreasonable distrust of others

5. You replaying arguments, fights, or breakups in your mind

Painful memories still ruin your day, even years after the breakup

Free Yourself

So, how do you eliminate your baggage once and for all?

1. Accept Your Past For What It Is
This is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself and accept that the past cannot be changed. You need to make peace with every aspect of it so you can move forward.

2. Pay Attention To The Warning Signs
If your heart is saying one thing and your head is saying another, don’t ignore it! Take note of what is happening. In fact, make a list. When you start arguing with your ex-spouse in your head even though he or she is miles away, write it down. When you daydream about being able to say, “I told you so,” because your ex-spouse is getting another divorce, write it down. When you feel you’re not worthy, write it down. Make a practical list of your baggage so you can see it with your own eyes and it becomes real.

3. Plan Your Strategy
After you’ve identified the areas you need to work on, make a simple list of practical ways you can overcome them. It can be a positive thought to counteract a negative one… a quick prayer you say to stop the fight video playing in your head, or going to the confession more often to talk to the priest about your struggle, receive the graces you need to persevere, and feel that ugly burden lifted from your shoulders. The options are endless, and only you can determine which step will be most effective for you.

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