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Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls

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4 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

4 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

Last updated on: June 3, 2016 at 1:00 pm by Lisa Duffy

4 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship 2016-06-03T13:00:41-04:00 Lisa Duffy

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How can you tell if your relationship is built to last?

Photo by Crew, Unsplash.Com, CC

Did you know if you placed two acoustic guitars side-by-side on guitar stands and strummed the strings of one guitar, the other guitar strings will resonate with the same frequency? They come alive in harmony. It is very much the same when two people have a healthy, thriving relationship. They experience a beautiful harmony because they are in tune with each other.

But, how can you tell if your relationship is built to last? Whether you’re dating, engaged to be married, or already hitched, there are some key indicators of healthy relationships that are good to pay attention to, and if they’re present in your relationship, congratulations, you’re doing great! If not, these are great tips to help improve your relationship.

1. You Communicate Effectively and Lovingly

It’s difficult to have a great relationship if communication is lacking. People who understand the secrets of communicating well have healthy relationships because they are transmitters . . . they know how to effectively transmit love. Isn’t that what being together is all about? Of course, no one is perfect and everyone gets moody or impatient at times, but treating each other with love should be the predominant theme of the way you communicate.

The hallmarks of someone who communicates well and knows how to transmit love to the people around her are:

She is honest and straightforward.
She listens and hears the person with whom she is speaking.
She takes into consideration opposing views.
She shows respect to the person with whom she is speaking.
She is proactive in finding solutions, and is not set on trying to win an argument.

These characteristics reveal how open your heart is to love, how you treat other people, your level of authenticity, etc.

2. There Is An Equal Sense Give and Take

Romantic love is an amazing experience, but what happens when the glowing emotions begin to wane and the drudgery of everyday life sets in? Many people see the fading of the emotion of love as a warning sign, but it’s actually an opportunity to begin cultivating a newer, stronger love. A lot of this cultivation comes from having an equal give and take between the two of you.

For example, my husband and I trade off running the kids around to their events, we don’t insist the other does all the taxi-ing. We don’t haggle about who is supposed to dump the trash, we just dump it. Sometimes I watch the mind-numbing, poorly-written action flicks with my husband because it’s what he likes and more often than not, he watches the dramatic and emotional chick-flicks he despises with me because he loves me. I actually got him to watch Thelma and Louise and I know he didn’t do that because he thought it would be a good movie.

These are all simple things that probably don’t seem like much, but these small acts of kindness definitely translate to the understanding that we aren’t in the relationship just to get something out of it, we’re in it for each other.

A healthy relationship requires sacrifice on the part of both people. If I am critical of my partner because I don’t feel he’s done much recently to make me happy or he seems to have been rather selfish lately, that’s precisely the time I need to get up and do something for him. It should never be about “What have you done for me, lately?” It should always be about “What have I done for you?”

3. You Show Each Other Non-Sexual Affection

It is true, love needs to be more than just interior knowledge, it must be demonstrated, but having sex is not the only way to show affection. In fact, when the only affection shown in a relationship is sexual, wives especially tend to become dissatisfied. So the learning the art of showing non-sexual affection is key to any relationship, especially if you’re not yet married.

A person who is truly affectionate is someone who is attentive to others and is concerned with making others know they are loved, and this makes their relationships very strong and healthy. And there’s a secret about this that not enough people understand—the more you love and serve, the more others want to return love and serve you.

4. You Pray Together

A lot of couples are not comfortable praying together, but I think it may be because that idea tends to conjure up images of a couple holding hands with their eyes closed, praying a spontaneous prayer. If you already do this with your significant other and it works in your relationship, that’s wonderful, don’t change a thing. But for many, this can be intimidating.

It’s important to remember that going to mass together is praying together. Saying grace before meals, or going to Eucharistic adoration together is praying together. Prayer takes many forms and the main thing is doing it together and supporting each other in your faith.

If you’re looking for ways you can improve your relationship, these things can help elevate the quality of love you share through putting these simple, but powerful steps in place.

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