Divorced At Christmas? This Woman’s Story Could Change Everything For You

Last updated on: December 15, 2015 at 9:33 am by Lisa Duffy

Divorced At Christmas? This Woman’s Story Could Change Everything For You 2015-12-15T09:33:02-04:00 Lisa Duffy

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Back in 2008, I met a divorced woman named Jodi whose “first Christmas after divorce” story was one of the most inspirational ones I’d heard. Whether you’re recently divorced or have been for a while, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it and maybe it could change the way you approach the upcoming holidays.

Jodi’s husband divorced her after 13 years of marriage. A custody agreement for their four children, ages 5 – 12, dictated they would spend Christmas with their dad and his new spouse. He would pick them up on the last day of school and she would get them back on Dec. 29.

This was a crushing blow for Jodi. How in the world could she spend her first Christmas as a divorced parent without her children? Her own parents tried to console her and encouraged her to not become beaten down by these circumstances. Together, they thought of a way Jodi could overcome this incredibly sad event and do it in the most positive and charitable way possible.

On that last day of school before Christmas break, Jodi put her children on the school bus and waved goodbye. Immediately, her parents came over and everyone got to work. Her mother and father traditionally cooked the Christmas meal, so at 8am, they began cooking while Jodi decorated and set out all the children’s gifts. A few hours later, Jodi checked each of her kids out of their classes and brought them home, announcing that Santa Claus had visited their home early.

When the children walked in, they were met with the most wonderful display of love anyone could ever hope for. All their gifts, all their favorite treats, and most of all, the love and joy of their mother and grandparents. They ate together, opened presents together, prayed together, and shared the beautiful Christmas celebration they all thought they would miss.

Finally, it was time to bring them back to school so they could leave with their father. As they drove away, Jodi cried, but they were tears of joy. If you ask Jodi, she will tell you that experience was what enabled her to get through the holidays that year. If you ask her children, to this very day they say it was their best Christmas ever.

New Strength Comes From Old Wounds

After going through the emotional and financial torment of divorce, it’s very easy to feel like giving up on being happy again. The pain and stress of it all can be like a steam roller rolling right over you, I know, I’ve been there. But the thing that saved me from becoming hopeless and beaten down was pushing myself to change things and that’s why I share Jodi’s story with you. She didn’t settle for allowing a family court judge to determine her happiness, she took matters into her own hands and changed the things she had control of. This empowered Jodi and became her way of handling all the future setbacks and disappointments she would experience because of her divorce. It was new found strength from an unlikely source, the wounds of her divorce.

Think about it like this: Home builders often use wood planks for framing that have been cut up into small pieces and adhered back together to make one long plank because that process makes the plank stronger. This is a perfect example of how healing from a traumatic life event such as a divorce can result in being a much stronger person. The break is painful beyond words, but the healing process strengthens you in a way you had not been before, especially as time puts distance between you and your divorce. The sting from the wound will always be there, but as time moves forward, your new strength grows.

So as Christmas and New Year’s celebrations approach, keep in mind that you don’t have to settle for the status quo, you can stand up and change the things that are within your control. These trials and challenges serve specifically to strengthen and purify you. Even in scripture, we have many descriptions of God as the refiner who purifies his people through fire just as silver and gold are purified. So what is most important about the suffering you may be facing right now is to learn from it and allow it to change you into a better person.

how to heal after divorce

Lisa Duffy

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