Has The Synod Left Divorced Catholics In The Lurch?

Last updated on: October 27, 2015 at 6:11 pm by Lisa Duffy

Has The Synod Left Divorced Catholics In The Lurch? 2015-10-27T18:11:39-04:00 Lisa Duffy

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The Synod on the Family is now behind us and the final document complete with the majority of Synod Fathers agreeing to uphold the timeless truths of our doctrines. Cardinal Pell described it, saying there were “No doctrinal developments, no doctrinal surprises, no doctrinal backflips. No changes in praxis or discipline…” This may upset some people who were holding out hope that Cardinal Casper of Germany would sway Pope Francis’ decision in favor of changing Church teaching and allowing divorced and civilly-remarried (DACR) Catholics to receive communion without going through the annulment process.

I am personally in favor of sticking with the truth and upholding Christ’s teachings in this arena, but now we face another question… Does the fact that there are no new changes mean we just sweep all these people right back under the rug and ignore them? Since DACR Catholics are probably feeling slighted, and divorced Catholics in general often feel disconnected or alienated from parish life, what will we do now?

I recently wrote a piece for Aleteia.Org titled, 3 Things The Synod Fathers Should Know About Divorce, in which I detailed several meaningful ways we can reach out to this community in our Church and show them they are still important members of the body of Christ:

1.      Make sure all priests, deacons, DREs and any other Church representative in a position of dispensing advice have a uniform understanding of the basic things that apply to a divorced Catholic, such as:

A civil divorce decree in and of itself does not prohibit the reception of the sacraments or participation in parish life. Having fliers or pamphlets with this information readily available in the vestibule and easy to pick up is a good way to start.
Jumping back into dating is not a good idea, even when it might look obvious a marriage is null. It takes time to heal from a divorce and one reason we have the debate about Communion in the synod is because too many people rush into dating after a divorce. Socializing is good, and important; dating should wait.

2.      Acknowledge them in a homily.

Many divorced Catholics stop going to Mass because the homily is almost always directed at the intact family. No doubt, the intact family needs support now more than ever, but most divorced Catholics never find themselves counted as part of the parish family in homilies. Just showing up at Mass is difficult because the intact families are constant reminders of the loss. Many divorced parishioners have wished to hear homilies that not only clarify Church teaching but also offer food for thought in their struggle to remain faithful to God during this time.

3.      Encourage parishes to form outreach committees.

A civil divorce is a horrendous experience. It is often equated with the death of a spouse, but when someone loses a spouse to death, the surviving spouse is bombarded with an outpouring of sympathy: flowers, meals and visits from sympathetic friends and family. But this rarely happens when a divorce occurs—in fact, the opposite reaction of pulling away is normally what takes place. Yet the pain and loss of divorce is quite real and depression sets in fast. A meaningful act of compassion might be as easy as showing someone who is divorced the same sort of attention, such as checking in every now and then with a phone call or a visit, offering to bring a meal, etc. It would also be a spiritual work of mercy.

Especially as the holiday season begins, both in the Church and in the secular world, let us do our best to keep in mind the call of Pope Francis to be missionaries who go out to the field after the battle and helping the wounded back into the hospital that is the Church.

Have good ideas on how to better help divorced Catholic? I’d love to hear them, so email me at [email protected].

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