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Assessing How Much You Want to Find God in Your Life

Assessing How Much You Want to Find God in Your Life

Last updated on: September 23, 2026 at 12:00 pm by Lee Ann B. Marino

Assessing How Much You Want to Find God in Your Life 2026-08-24T16:53:35-04:00 Lee Ann B. Marino

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There’s an old Zen story that reads: A hermit was meditating by a river when a young man interrupted him. “Master, I wish to become your disciple,” said the man. “Why?” replied the hermit. The young man thought for a moment. “Because I want to find God.”

The master jumped up, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, dragged him into the river, and plunged his head under water. After holding him there for a minute, with him kicking and struggling to free himself, the master finally pulled him up out of the river. The young man coughed up water and gasped to get his breath. When he eventually quieted down, the master spoke. “Tell me, what did you want most of all when you were under water.”

“Air!” answered the man.

“Very well,” said the master. “Go home and come back to me when you want God as much as you just wanted air.” (From Zen Stories To Tell Your Neighbors)

That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after Him, and find Him, though He be not far from every one of us. (Acts 17:27, KJV)

Photo of a river

Photo by Umar Andrabi: https://www.pexels.com/photo/forest-reflection-in-the-river-surface-17952169/

How much do you want to find God?

So, I ask you the question: how much do you want God? Like the man in the story above, do you want God as much as you want air? Do you want God more than anything and everything else in your life? Is God genuinely what you seek…or is God an avenue to other things that you want?

Sometimes we say we want God when we really hope God will lead us to what we really desire behind the scenes. Often we seek God with the intent of seeking to achieve something through Him. It doesn’t look this way on the surface. Only a test, such as in the story above (being held underwater until we struggle), reveals our true intentions. How many of us would love God enough to trust Him even if time goes on and we don’t get our healing, deliverance, thoughts, feelings, or hoped-for things? Would we still believe, or would it become about something else – would we turn on God?

I believe the prevalence of witchcraft (through rebellion, magic, spell casting, and manipulation) is prevalent in church because we want what we want when we want it. Waiting is hard, and taking things in our own hands (in God’s Name, of course) often seems a comfortable option. We fail to have the relationship with God that’s needed to bring about transformation in our lives. It’s our hope that God will “fix us” so we never have to hurt again or feel uncomfortable – but we forget that with deliverance often comes discomfort as we readjust ourselves. If we aren’t seeking God like we should, we will find something new to be delivered from. No longer can we use our ailments, bondage, and spirits to our advantage (to control and manipulate other people).

The role of deliverance

In deliverance, we want to find God. We don’t just confront what happened to us; we also confront who we are and how we have used bondage for our own personal manipulations. Human nature loves for others to feel sorry for us, claiming others don’t understand as an excuse to hold on to things we know we must let go of; to justify ourselves through fear and intimidation (which is why people stay in a fearful place); to control the behaviors of other people (because they feel they have to be sensitive or understanding when they are around us); to intimate others with our hairline trigger emotions, be those anger, hysteria, or sorrow; and, perhaps, above all – to avoid being accountable and responsible.

When we seek deliverance, God doesn’t just erase symptoms. He calls us to confront ourselves, looking at the parts of our situations that we hold onto for dear life. Such things are often our defenses, walls, and emotions that keep us away from God – and His ways – out.

Examples of personal confrontation

So, you say you want to be delivered? You want to be healed? You want to be “set free?” Here is some food for thought:

You need to want God more than you don’t want to hurt anymore.
You need to want God more than you want deliverance.
You need to want God more than you want a spouse.
You need to want God more than all that “stuff” you seek (houses, money, cars, etc.).
You need to want God more than you want to “feel good.”
You need to want God more than you want your healing.
You need to want God more than you want what you want.

Desiring God for God Himself

There’s a radical difference between being truly desperate for God Himself – longing to know Him, be in communion with Him, walk with Him, and love Him – than being desperate for the things He can give you. The intimacy God speaks with us is as near as our breath; as near as our life, as near as the air we seek as when we are without oxygen. Many years ago, Juanita Bynum made a statement to the extent that we need to stop loving Jesus and be in love with Jesus. She clarified the difference – loving Jesus means you believe Him to pay your light bill. Being in love with Jesus means you will sit there and praise Him in the dark.

Some of you want to know why you’re not getting what you seek? You are seeking it more than God. It is an idol.

When you want God as much as you want and what you seek, come back and seek the deliverance you need.

A quotation on the depth of God’s presence

“The comparison of intimacy to breath is important because it reminds us of the first breath of life breathed into mankind by God at creation. From that singular moment, we find the spark of life – that which gives it meaning, purpose, and creativity. The word for “breath” used in Genesis 2:7 is neshamah, which literally means “breath, spirit.” It refers to both the Spirit of God and the spirit living in man. This tells us that the spirit which animates our life comes from God, and is a powerful connection between us and God, and us and other human beings. Our very breath is a reminder of soul and spirit, of something that connects us to God from the very beginning. From that first moment of true intimacy between God and humanity, we find a key purpose of intimacy: life. Intimacy is a life-force that envelops, encompasses, surrounds, and is ever-with us.

“Intimacy has a purpose, and that purpose is life, as we find a unity of people together, and people with God. As the result of intimacy, life comes forth: natural, physical, spiritual, and an extension of the spiritual, creativity. Intimacy inspires us; it inspires us to live, just knowing that connection exists that transcends something in the natural. Intimacy proves life is more than what we may muse intellectually. It is also a sensory and spiritual experience that has profound meaning as we pursue intimacy in trust in our lives. If we deny that experience, we are denying a primary way we experience intimacy, and come into a place where we find the deeper discovery of God at work within, through, among, and around us.” (From Discovering Intimacy: A Journey Through the Song of Solomon)

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About Lee Ann B. Marino

Dr. Lee Ann B. Marino, Ph.D., D.Min., D.D. (”The Spitfire”) is “everyone’s favorite theologian” leading Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z as apostle of SAFE Ministries. Her work encompasses study and instruction on leadership training and development, typology, Pneumatology, conceptual theology, Ephesians 4:11 ministry, and apostolic theology. She is author of over thirty-five books, host of the top twenty percentile podcast Kingdom Now, and serves as founder and overseer of Sanctuary International Fellowship Tabernacle - SIFT and Chancellor of Apostolic Covenant Theological Seminary. Dr. Marino has over twenty-five years of experience in ministry, leadership, counseling, mentoring, education, and business. You can read more about the author here.

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