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Five Ways to Handle Christmas Blues

Five Ways to Handle Christmas Blues

Last updated on: December 20, 2024 at 12:00 pm by Lee Ann B. Marino

Five Ways to Handle Christmas Blues 2024-10-31T10:03:31-04:00 Lee Ann B. Marino

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It’s the time of year when it can easily feel like happiness and joy are compulsory. If you’re not feeling particularly joyful at Christmastime, that can cause a number of feelings, from being left out to forcing responses that aren’t real. Having the Christmas blues can be difficult, especially with the pace that’s moving all around us. While many see this as a time of year to visit family, friends, exchange gifts, and echo long-standing traditions, that’s not everyone’s story. Thus, many ask, how do we survive the season when it isn’t a time of inspiration?

Last year, I published a column about a trying time for me during the holidays. My first husband died in late January 2019, but we first learned he had liver cancer right before Christmas in 2018. Given I wasn’t already a big holiday fan, having this experience soured me all that much more on this time of the year. Since he died, my response to the holiday season has varied. Some years I’ve been all right with the quiet, but other years, I wanted to have others around. I’m thankful for my strong church community who also varies in their holiday experiences, and as a result, I’ve always had the option to have someone around when I needed them.

Still, I recognize that’s not everyone’s experience. What do you do if you have the “Christmas blues?” Here are five ways to handle them.

Blue and gold Christmas ornaments

Gold and blue Christmas ornaments. Photo by Paola L: https://www.pexels.com/photo/gray-blue-and-gold-colored-baubles-790155/

Remember celebration is optional, not mandatory

It might feel like celebrating Christmas (or any of the other winter holidays) is a requirement…but it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to go to the office Christmas party. If you’d rather skip out on a gathering with your family that puts you down or doesn’t celebrate your life choices, then feel free to stay home. If celebration requires you to go into debt, feed vices you’re fighting to overcome (alcohol, overindulgence), or be around people with whom you don’t feel comfortable, you aren’t required to participate.

As a side note, celebration can look like many things. It doesn’t have to be expensive, crowded, complicated, or vice-filled. If you feel Christmas should be more of a religious observance, then observe it as you feel called. If it’s more a question of not liking parties or not being much of a holiday buff, those are all right, too. Celebration can be quiet, faithful, pensive, or nothing at all. There are no rules on how these things should be done. Find what you feel comfortable doing, and do that.

Celebrate with friends

The media and church alike shout the loudest that holiday time should be about family. Have we ever stopped to consider that when Jesus was born, both Mary and Joseph were away from their families? Jesus’ birth did not take place around His immediate, earthly relatives. He was born somewhere in a stable, far from home due to a census registry (Luke 2:1-2). If anything, there’s no question that sometimes our faith takes us away from our families (Micah 7:6, Matthew 10:35-36, Luke 12:53). When we change, biological family doesn’t always recognize our differences. For this reason, God sometimes moves us away from our biological relatives.

Separation from family is hard for many, and can easily lead to Christmas blues. It can feel like you’re the only one on your own, and everyone else has “somewhere to go” when you don’t. This is not true. Being without family connection at this time of year does not mean you must spend your holiday alone.

Believe it or not, there are many people who aren’t thrilled at the idea of going home for the holidays. Many more are unable to do so, for different reasons. Instead of roughing out the season alone, team up with some friends who are also on their own this holiday season. Whether it’s a get-together, emotional support, or your own unconventional “Friendsmas” celebration, don’t overlook the importance of friendship at this time of the year.

Volunteer

It’s a long-held stereotype to volunteer for a soup kitchen, children’s center, toy drive, or other organization that often aligns with the emotional guilt people feel around Christmas. Because the standard for this time of year is overindulgence, the counterbalance is to offer assistance to those who can’t have a holiday season that goes above and beyond. There’s nothing wrong with volunteering somewhere traditional, but there are many other organizations that can use volunteers at this time of year. Coat drives, domestic violence shelters, homeless projects, churches, and other organizations all exist, all needing people to step up and help as they help others.

Volunteering is a great way to chase away the Christmas blues because it helps us see the world through a lens that’s bigger than our own hurts and pains. There are many in this world who also hurt, albeit in a different way. Doing something good for someone else lifts our spirits as we share in the communal feeling that giving is still better than receiving. Helping others heal helps us heal, too.

Visit a worship community

Many attend church during the Christmas season. For some, it’s the only time they go. Others might use it as a time to visit a new community, one they haven’t visited prior. One of the best ways to combat loneliness and Christmas blues is to attend church. There’s something special about worshiping with others. It gives us a sense of purpose and community. It also helps us see God differently, as we worship with others in a corporate unison. Whether the community is small or large is irrelevant. It also doesn’t matter if you go to a service on Christmas day or another Sunday (or day) during this season. The important thing is meeting with others and meeting with God, no matter how emotionally dark we might feel.

Be all right with feeling down this time of year

There’s no law that says Christmastime has to feel the same way for everyone. If you have the Christmas blues, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly all right to feel your feelings, for whatever reason you may have them. Process your pains, but don’t isolate from the whole world. There are many out there who are happy to listen, share, and spend time with you, even if you’re not in the mood to sing another Christmas carol. Don’t let a sense of obligation keep you from your needed catharsis.

Christmas blues fade with time

One of the hardest things for me personally has been the way in which Christmas blues tend to fade, then reappear the following year. They also don’t take a uniform nature, which also makes them complicated to navigate. In closing, remember a few key things. First, health is paramount, even at this time of year. Make sure you get enough rest, eat right, and continue to get some exercise. Enjoy sunny days as they peek from clouds. Don’t fear talking to God or spending time in worship and the Word. Those who love you care about you; don’t fear talking to them. Also, don’t fear talking to a therapist, if you think it will help. Pastors and church leaders are also available. Jesus has overcome the world, and that includes the obligations we feel this time of the year. Don’t forget that you matter, and you are important to Him.

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About Lee Ann B. Marino

Dr. Lee Ann B. Marino, Ph.D., D.Min., D.D. (”The Spitfire”) is “everyone’s favorite theologian” leading Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z as apostle of Spitfire Apostolic Ministries. Her work encompasses study and instruction on leadership training and development, typology, Pneumatology, conceptual theology, Ephesians 4:11 ministry, and apostolic theology. She is author of over thirty-five books, host of the top twenty percentile podcast Kingdom Now, and serves as founder and overseer of Sanctuary International Fellowship Tabernacle - SIFT and Chancellor of Apostolic Covenant Theological Seminary. Dr. Marino has over twenty-five years of experience in ministry, leadership, counseling, mentoring, education, and business. You can read more about the author here.

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