Ivanka Trump Cheating On Her Marriage With A Biden

Last updated on: February 1, 2021 at 12:18 pm by Andrew Hall

Ivanka Trump Cheating On Her Marriage With A Biden 2021-02-01T12:18:27-04:00 Andrew Hall

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The Trump clan is still reeling from its fall from power. Lawyers and lawsuits are descending on former President Donald Trump. Those who abetted the 45th President’s abuse of power like Rude Giuliani and Steve Bannon also face legal difficulties. Ivanka, Don Jr, and Eric know it’s only a matter of time before they too will find themselves in court.

Psychologists note when people are under stress they misbehave. Psychological pressure creates anxiety and that anxiety can be maladaptively released via risky sexual behaviors, substance abuse, and evangelical church services. It’s no surprise close friends of Ivanka Trump say she is not being faithful to her husband, Jared Kushner. To make matters worse, she is cheating on Jared with a Biden.

Ivanka Trump’s Cheating Ways

Anonymous sources close to Ivanka state ever since it was clear her father wouldn’t get a second term in office she hasn’t been the same. Supposedly she’s been moody and depressed. Her father is more focused on fighting his political foes than showing any affection for her.

“She was his princess, and now Ivanka is just another blond with fake titties,” one confidante said. “It continues to undermine her self-esteem.”

Her husband Jared Kushner is not helping either. His mind is on other things. For example, amongst all of his other projects he’s trying to figure out a way to put immigrant children back into cages.

It was just a matter of time before Ivanka turned somewhere else for affection.

And she found it with Champ Biden.

Ivanka And Champ On The Down Low

Chamo Biden is a German shepherd and the First Dog of the United States (FDOTUS). Joe Biden and his wife became his furless family back in 2008. Ever since Champ has been an integral part of the Biden team.

Ivanka and Champ first met on the streets of Washington DC. They knew they were from different sides of the track. He was a Democrat who believed in democracy and Blue Buffalo Dog Treats. She was a fascist. He felt he could change her. She never realized dogs could be good companions.

It was kismet.

They started meeting clandestinely. The two did weird roleplay like reenacting scenes from Lady and the Tramp. They knew their relationship had to be kept secret but yearned to show the world that true affection can transcend political parties.

And now it’s all public. Pictures. Video. And weird audio of Champ and Ivanka howling at the Moon.

The Future Of Jared And Ivanka

It appears Ivanka and Champ’s affair is strictly emotional. The two have never consummated their love. However, an emotional affair can be just as damaging to a marriage as a physical one. Luckily, Jared had his emotions removed from his brain when he first entered the White House back in 2016. Sources say he’s cool with his wife getting her emotional needs from a dog.

Andrew Canard is a marriage therapist. He believes it’s not uncommon for people in loveless relationships to emotionally cheat with their pets.

“Yeah, it’s weird, but fur daddies and fur mommies have needs, too,” he said.

In related news, Champ Biden takes a bite at Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene.

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