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Kirk Franklin

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I’m Sitting in the Hospital: No Regrets?

I’m Sitting in the Hospital: No Regrets?

Last updated on: February 2, 2015 at 8:26 pm by Kirk Franklin

I’m Sitting in the Hospital: No Regrets? 2015-02-02T20:26:41-06:00 Kirk Franklin

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I’m spending my birthday in the hospital.

A friend of ours had a heart attack the night before. He and his wife are connected to us through the school all of our kids attend. We’ve known them for several years and he and I even have a “bromance” going on.

Great dude… Great father… Wonderful husband.

None of those titles can make his heart start beating on its own right now. We are sitting in ICU with his wife, other families from the school, and a nice gentleman who comes in from time to time to give us updates. None of them sound good. His kidneys have stopped working and they can’t do anything to his heart until they can get the kidneys working again. I’m sitting here, on my birthday, in a room full of hopeless hurting people, trying to have faith in the prayer I just finished praying at the wife’s request, and realizing… man, life can change so quickly.

I know every spiritual, positive, Christian cheerleader phrase in the book. You know them too:

“Life is short.”

“Love people while you still have them.”

“No one knows what tomorrow holds.”

But in my flawed humanity, I can’t seem to activate these quotes until I’m in an ICU, a glass visitors’ booth at a jail cell, or a graduation for a daughter I refuse to let grow up.

I wish I could do so many things over or better.

Maybe the eternal guilt every human feels during a time of pain and loss is to maybe… give thanks.

Christians forget a prominent piece of the Christian benefit package program: the sovereignty of God. This life is just a movie trailer to the main event. Regrets and guilt is not supposed to be the over arching story line to our Christian journey.

Maybe its time for us to realize that this perfect picture of a parent, friend, spouse or believer is not realistic. It’s also an unnecessary weight for His children to carry. When we accept Christ, we choose to live in a daily abiding relationship with him and fight to live a life surrendered to Him. We can trust that the life we live is a life that won’t be perfect, but a life that will have purpose. Storms come into that life are storms he creates, or allows… for my good, and for His glory. So the fragile moments of sickness, death, and disappointments are the realities of a dying world, a dying body, and an echo of the heavens counting down the days to when hospital visits will be no more.

As much as it hurts, we thank God for the lives we’ve met and loved, but we trust that the scriptwriter of eternity knows what he’s doing in the healing or the exiting of his beloved creation.

See family, if this is all there is to life, then what an empty life it is.

I’m learning how to thank God for disappointments; they keep my heart hungry for heaven.

When our loved ones are deeply sick, or we had to work late to pay for that first semester of college, God does not punish us for loving the best we know how on this side of eternity. If God doesn’t beat you up about it, neither should you.

We will always wish we could’ve loved more, laughed more, danced more, apologized more. But if you live your life memorizing your regrets, the chapter reserved for your future will be a blank one… and a sad one.

Wake up flawed. Tell your Father you’re flawed today. Chase Him with all of your heart. Give yourself permission to not be perfect.

“Not being perfect” is not the same as intentional sin. And it’s not dismissing the wrath of God or consequences.

It’s the acknowledgment of a humble human made of clay that all things, good, bad and ugly, are working together for the good of them that love the Lord.

Live fragile, dependent. Love your best with all of your ability. Surrender your regrets. The reason why the rear view mirror is smaller than the front windshield is because where you’re going is bigger than where you’ve been.

They just transferred my friend to another hospital with more specialists. God, I pray you have grace on his life, and I thank you that you allowed me to be his friend.

Read more on SixSeeds Faith and Family, fan Kirk on Facebook, listen to him on YouTube, and follow him on Twitter.

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