Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Kimberly Knight

Home
Progressive Christian
Politics and Religion
A Christian woman worthy of marriage?

A Christian woman worthy of marriage?

Last updated on: October 30, 2017 at 3:53 pm by Kimberly Knight

A Christian woman worthy of marriage? 2017-10-30T15:53:20+04:00 Kimberly Knight

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

So I’ve generally ignored the kerfuffle around a theologically, psychologically and sociologically ignorant little post called “10 Women Christian Men Should Not Marry” by Dr. Kim. Recently there have been some really good responses that finally got to me.

I feel all the feels about this sharp response by the witty Catholic blogger Calah Alexander.

Then there is this one by the incomparable Reba Riley who cogently and faithfully takes umbrage with each point. It is upon her suggestion to add my thoughts that I dug a little deeper (and utilized her helpful summaries of his 10 types of women).

As it turns out, when I re-read the original post I realized that I qualify for 7 out of 10 qualities that are apparently essential for a woman to be worthy of Christian marriage.

Check it out. His women to avoid are in bold and italics

The Unbeliever “What then, is a believer? A Christian essentially is someone who believes in the gospel of Jesus Christ. What then, is the gospel?”

Check 1 – I am a believer in the gospel of Jesus Christ that depicts the liberating, life-giving in-breaking of God. I even dig a few words attributed to Paul. Praise be that nothing, nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ.

The Child-Hater [later changed to The Childbirth Avoider] “If you are adverse towards having children, then there’s a simple remedy for that: single-hood. However, if God has called you to marriage, then He actually expects children.”

Check 2 – I always wanted a child, I enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy and I deeply love the daughter around whom my heart orbits. I believe her to be the greatest gift God ever gave to me. I also deeply love another child, a stepdaughter of sorts, for whom I would do anything, even if it means my own heart shatters sometimes when I do.

3. The Older Woman “God intentionally (with good reason!) created Adam before Eve in the First Marriage. Scripture informs us that God created man first chronologically for the sake of authority!”

Check 3(ish) – Well I am older than some and younger than others but I would be more than happy to marry someone older than I if that is what God wills. But since I am an honest, Christian woman I have to tell the truth and say I would marry a younger person if that is who God sends to me.

4. The Feminist “There’s no room within Christendom for the ‘Christian feminist’.”

Strike 1 – Labels are so off-putting and since the word feminist seems to scare some, just think of me as someone who woman who wants the world to be safe and fair for your mother, your daughter, your wife and your brother’s wife.

5. The Sexy Dresser [later changed to The Immodest Dresser] “The way that a woman is willing to expose herself says much about her heart:”

Check 4 – Oh my Lord in heaven above, I prefer sensible shoes, loose fitting jeans and comfortable shirts that cover every nook and cranny. Too much makeup? I have had the same compact of foundation for six months. Six and counting.

6. The Loud Mouth [later changed to The Gossiper/Slanderer] “Gossip and slander are not good things to have in your marriage. Desperate housewives make for desperate husbands.”

Check 5 – I loathe gossip and revere truth above all else. I find no pleasure in speaking ill of others for entertainment or my own gain. I pray every day to use my words for good even if some days I fail miserably and I pray for forgiveness when I fall short.

7. The Divorcee “…unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity, a second marriage is to be considered invalid and adulterous.”

Strike 2 – Oh okay, you’ve got me on this one. It’s a long story that I try to tell little by little every day. There’s still more to tell. One day.

8. The Wander-Luster “The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God.”

Check 6 – I’ve lived within 30 miles of my place of birth my whole life. I rarely travel more than 10 miles for any sort of entertainment. My little home, modest as it is, is a source of great comfort into which I retreat every chance I can. I may travel once in a while but Georgia is always on my mind. Reading, board games, dog walks and backyard fires are a few of my favorite things. I yearn to find 100% rest in God but I am getting closer every day. I am not the only American Christian who struggles with this quest for inner peace so perhaps we can call it even for now.

9. The Career Woman [Later changed to the Career-first woman] “It’s okay for a woman to be a doctor, attorney, or any other professional…The woman ought to be willing (and even desirous–to some extent) to give up her job for the sake of raising her kids in the Lord.”

Well, sorta check and sorta strike – I spent the first five years of my daughter’s life at home with her. During those years I enjoyed hanging out with other moms at play dates, attending school board meetings and throwing the best little birthday parties in the neighborhood. When she started school I leveraged my pre-mom skills in service at her school. After a few years I answered God’s call in my life to study the bible more deeply, pray more ardently and serve God in the best way I could. I work to live in this world and I live in this world for my family. When I can, I even use my vocation to try to share the good news of God’s love for everyone, everyone, everyone.

10. The Devotion-less Woman “Is the woman having a regular, daily devotional time with her God? If she doesn’t love the Lord now, chances are, she won’t love the Lord after marriage.”

Check 7 – Every. Single. Day

First let me be clear that I believe that women who don’t embody these 10 qualities are beloved by God and worthy of marriage. About this I have no doubt.

That said, I also have to admit that I am grateful to read that the life of faith I’ve cultivated makes me a valid candidate for Christian marriage. I trust that God will send me an equally yoked woman with whom to share my love, life and faith. I look forward to good Christian men like Dr. Kim celebrating our union.

Marriage

Previous Post

February 2, 2015

Equal rights for LGBT people are not last rites for Christians

Next Post

February 13, 2015 An open letter to Roy Moore: my rights unalienable

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Lesbian's Lectionary Journey Ally Ask a Jesus Loving Lesbian Church Connect the dots Ex-Gay Family Homosexual lifestyle Justice Love Marriage Poetry Sermons Theology Uncategorized

Select a Month April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Psalm begins, "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?"

Select your answer to see how you score.

Psalm 14 Psalm 139 Psalm 27 Psalm 91