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Showbiz 101: Not-quite 62 Rules for Negotiating Hollywood (Part 1)

Showbiz 101: Not-quite 62 Rules for Negotiating Hollywood (Part 1)

Last updated on: February 8, 2015 at 11:44 pm by Kate O'Hare

Showbiz 101: Not-quite 62 Rules for Negotiating Hollywood (Part 1) 2015-02-08T23:44:13-08:00 Kate O'Hare

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On Friday, Feb. 6, entertainment lawyer Peter Kaufman, from his @Dealfatigue Twitter account, sent out 61 tweets (they’re numbered to 62, but he missed number 6) about how to give your screenplay its best chance of being bought and produced.

Since so many Hollywood folks are seen living lives of libertine excess, you might think that the town is light on rules and etiquette-free. In truth, it’s less like a mass Woodstock love-in than a medieval court, complete with royalty, lords, courtiers and servants (the only difference being that a servant can become a courtier, a lord or even a king, and vice versa) and a labyrinth of rules of behavior that industry hopefuls ignore at their peril.

There’s a lot about the personal side of the entertainment industry that faithful Catholics will need to avoid, but if they plan to succeed, they’d better learn the nuts and bolts of the business of show.

A good place to start is Kaufman’s short course in the reality of getting a project off the ground (edited for grammar and clarity):

1: Aspiring producers/writers/creatives: dogged persistence, while Capra-esque, is not in itself enough (woefully misplaced?) to execute.

2: Indie or not, to produce for the mass market requires an understanding that the business of the art views the project as a commodity.

3: Do you have the rights? Do you have a director that actors want to work with? Do you have folks whose endorsement has weight?

4: What are you selling? Passion, enthusiasm, tenacity alone are not enough. Can you execute? How do you prove that?

5: Great. So, you can make a movie. Who will watch it? Why? The easiest way to answer all of these questions is by providing/serving up …

7: … the fundamental business elements required to make a movie. Rights to good material; cast that gets butts in seats; capital.

8: If you can’t do that, then bring folks with credibility and skills who can.

9: If you don’t want to do that or are unable to do that, then be honest with yourself that you’ve chosen a tougher slog.

10: Several years ago, the @AFMOFFCIAL [American Film Market] finance conference invited the biggest European distribution heads to speak.

11: During the Q&A, an aspiring producer broke protocol, approached the panelists and gave each a copy of his undistributed film.

12: From my perspective, it was brazen and a rude violation of personal boundaries.

13: I suspect from his [the aspiring producer’s] perspective, it was a David-and-Goliath moment; one in which he was brave enough to sell himself and his work.

14: But it doesn’t work that way.

15: The distribution heads clearly felt violated, and I doubt they even looked at his film.

16: Instead of creating opportunity from an opening, that particular producer probably shut down any possibility of consideration.

17: Better approach, then engage the distribution heads with thoughtful questions during the Q&A. Afterwards, exchange cards;

18: ask them if you can send them the film; follow up politely but consistently. If it’s a pass, see if they are open to providing advice.

19: The problem — and I’ve written about this before — is that the folks attracted to the business (movies, TV, music, Internet, art) …

20: … see themselves as stars in their own movie. Better to break protocol; invade other folks’ boundaries/personal space in some misguided …

21: … truth-to-power, romanticized notion of selling your art. It looks good when some imagine it in their heads. The reality is different.

22: The reality — to be redundant — is that art is a product. Sorry, but it is. And the folks will only buy it if it meets certain expectations.

23: See tweets 1-8, so I don’t repeat it here. But meeting those criteria is how art is sold. And, BTW, blind-pitching scripts and …

24: … manuscripts to a slush pile? (There’s a reason it’s called a slush pile.) Go right ahead. And while you’re at it, buy some scratchers …

25: … and lottery tickets as the basis for your retirement plan, because that’s the kind of long-shot bet you’re making.

26: Re: development: let’s look at that. The departments and agencies expect the newest hires with the least experience and taste to …

27: … be the first line of access to writers. They are expected to read — someone out there chime in — how many screenplays during weekend read?

28: What’s your typical young hire in development? Mid-20s? English major — or even less qualified re: materials — pre-med?

29: So, these 20-somethings with no experience, and possibly no background, read, let’s say, 10 scripts during weekend read.

30: That’s about 1,000 pages or more per weekend, plus have a social life, plus sleep.

31: Are these kids (from my perspective) actually reading them in such limited time Who knows? When I first got into the business …

32: I knew folks starting out in development who later did quite well in the business. A number of them blew off the weekend read.

33: They would read 10, 10 & 10: The first 10 pages, 10 in the middle, and 10 at the end. I don’t know if that’s still done, but this was …

34: … the 1990s. What’s worse is that office politics create an enormous amount of pressure on these kids. ….

Continued in the next post.

Image: Twitter: @Dealfatigue

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Ray Lewis Counsels Angry Youth-Sports Coaches in Spike TV's 'Coaching Bad'

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February 8, 2015 Showbiz 101: Not-quite 62 Rules for Negotiating Hollywood (Part 2)

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