A Sermon of Silence

Last updated on: August 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm by Karen Spears Zacharias

A Sermon of Silence 2012-08-29T18:50:56+00:00 Karen Spears Zacharias

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Mama was engaged to a man after Daddy died. He was a nice enough fellow, a graduate from a fine southern university who had done very well professionally, financially. She met this fellow on a blind date. A friend and her husband invited Mama along to go bowling. They brought along this man and afterwards he began calling Mama everyday. I wrote about the man Mama almost married in After the Flag has been Folded.

He bought me a Billy Jean King tennis racket and tried to teach me how to play. I think he was sorely disappointed in my lack of athleticism but, bless his heart, he really did try to build a relationship with me. Years later, when I became a writer and wrote that memoir, I spoke with him. He was kindly even then, told me he wasn’t surprised I grew up to be somebody.

As I curled up on Mama’s bed last night, talking about times passed, I told my mother that for many years I prayed she would marry somebody, grow old with them, and enjoy the companionship and comfort of all that.

Well, that wasn’t to be, Mama said, and I could tell that there was a twinge of sorrow that didn’t happen.

I asked her how come it was she didn’t marry that fine fellow she had been engaged to all those years ago. He was good-looking, had a terrific job, a home he owned, and money in the bank, and he adored her.

She told me he wasn’t what he seemed. Then, she told me the real reason why she called the engagement off.

It was a nice spring day and Mama and some of her nursing buddies decided to go over to this fellow’s home for their lunch break. They were just going to get something to eat and head back to their afternoon classes.

He met them there for lunch and was just as nice as he could be. Mama had no idea that he was upset with her about anything until later that evening when she went back by his place. That’s when he got right up in her face and told her in no uncertain terms that she was never, ever to bring a black person into his home again. Only I don’t think he used the word black person.

“It never occurred to me to not take her along. She was my friend,” Mama said.

My mother grew up in a racist south. She had kin who were card-carrying members of the KKK. But she said she knew right then and there one thing about the man who was her fiance — “I knew it would always be his home and not mine.” A home where people of color would not be welcomed. So she called off the engagement. A decision that cost my mother in more ways than one.

I am sure Mama’s fiance thought she was being foolish, walking out on him. He would have been able to provide lavishly for her and her three kids.

As kids all we knew is that this man was part of our daily existence for a long while and then he was not. We eventually moved out of the trailer park into a brick home. Not one as big or fine as the one the man Mama almost married owned, but a home nonetheless. One she paid for herself.

Mama never really dated anyone very seriously after that. Sure, she had dates, plenty of them, but she never again allowed herself to be courted by one man.

My mother was not the sort of woman who would have ever picked up a placard and marched in a Civil Rights parade. Public displays of social activism make my mother uncomfortable. She does not ascribe to the notion that Christians, or anyone else for that matter, ought to live their lives out loud.

Sometimes living life rightly requires us to walk away quietly.

Sometimes the best sermon we can preach is one of silence.

Previous Post

August 28, 2012

Perhaps you can relate?

Next Post

August 30, 2012 The Veterans & the Nurse

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category child abuse Military ministry pop culture prayer Sports Uncategorized Veterans Day

Select a Month July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz