Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Karen Spears Zacharias

Home
Evangelical
Super Moon & Secret Powers

Super Moon & Secret Powers

Last updated on: March 20, 2011 at 4:05 pm by Karen Spears Zacharias

Super Moon & Secret Powers 2011-03-20T16:05:23+00:00 Karen Spears Zacharias

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Everybody raised up in Appalachia knows the trick to making a garden flourish is to do the planting under a full moon.

The reason Jack’s beanstalk grew so big is he not only planted it under a full moon, but under one of those super moons like we had last night. It was so bright I nearly went blind looking at it.

I could just hear my granny saying: “Don’t you stare straight at that sun — it’ll blind you!”

That’s how bright the moon was last night.

Which put me in a tizzy of activity all day long — that along with two vanilla iced lattes. (Caffeine is the Miracle-Gro for old people). I was bound and determined that I was going to get seeds planted under the light of the super moon, so I could rightly answer the question: “How does your garden grow, girl?”

“Very well, dear, thank you.”

So there I was (all by my lonesome since the only person Tim ever says NO to is me) turning dirt with a shovel, clearing away the debris of deadness, moving stones and dog toys, pruning and putting down manure, filling the bird feeders, washing windows and plantation shutters when I overheard something on the radio that made me laugh so loud I left a puddle in the garden.

A man attempting to rob a bank was stopped when the teller asked for his ID first. This was Texas so of course even the criminals are the obliging sort. The man offered the teller his debit card and driver’s license.

Seems our politicians aren’t the only ones operating from a vacuum, our criminals are getting dumber, too.

I suspect that’s why the mama down in Tampa, Florida decided to take some drastic measures when her 15-year-old boy brought home bad grades. The mama, who failed to graduate from high school, is bound and determined that her boy not only graduate, but do so respectably. When he came strutting in the house with his 1.22 GPA, she sent him back out the door wearing a sign around his neck: “Honk if I need an education.”

The boy stood on a Tampa street corner with the sign around his neck for four hours.

Lots of people honked but somebody reported the incident to the children services division and now this mama is being investigated for possible child abuse.

Yep.

America, you gotta love it.

The land where stupidity is an unalienable, contestable right.

How else do you explain Charlie Sheen’s road show “Violent Torpedo of Truth” (or as Sheen says, “The real story from the Warlock”) selling out in 18 minutes in Chicago?

If you live in a foreign country and are reading this, would you please drop to your knees right this minute and pray for us? All our boasting about our Superpowers only makes us look even dumber to the rest of the world.

We’ve morphed into Gilligan wearing Superman’s costume.

The good news is I got the flower beds cleaned and the seeds planted under the light of a super moon.

I even managed to hang the new solar-powered butterfly globe that glows purple at night.

“That’s creepy,” Tim said, under the light of the super moon. “The neighbors are going to think a sorceress lives here.”

Us Appalachian women, we have our secret powers, that’s for sure.

Previous Post

March 18, 2011

Ex-girlfriend wear & the men who won't be rockin' it

Next Post

March 21, 2011 How do you remember?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category child abuse Military ministry pop culture prayer Sports Uncategorized Veterans Day

Select a Month July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz