Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Karen Ruth Shock

Home
Progressive Christian
Relationships and Religion
Winning At All Costs

Winning At All Costs

Last updated on: August 21, 2022 at 1:06 pm by Karen Ruth Shock

Winning At All Costs 2022-08-21T13:06:57-04:00 Karen Ruth Shock

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I couldn’t play the game anymore.

Honestly, I didn’t even know what game I was playing.

Or that I was even playing a game at all.

Looking back now, I realize I was.

We were.

Heavy hitters, actually.

Leaders.

Dreaming big dreams.

Where lots of followers would follow.

People would look up to us.

Come to us for the answers.

People might say we were succeeding.

I’m not exactly sure what I would call it.

And right in the middle of this game I didn’t know we were playing?

Well, I decided to sit down for a minute.

Take a breather.

Ride the pine.

Not so much because I was tired.

More so because I was confused.

As my mom used to say…

“I didn’t know if I was pitching or catching”.

What team was I really playing for?

And how important was this game was in the first place?

I wanted to be the MVP.

I think I did know that much.

And I like to win.

Oh, and sitting on the bench was for the weak.

So, I trained, I prayed, I sang, and I never really took time out to look around.

Until my head started spinning.

My mind started reeling.

And I began questioning.

I had a choice to make.

I could keep playing the game.

Keep pretending.

Or, I could sit out for a season and reassess the whole thing.

I knew what benching myself would do.

Taking myself out of the game,

I would lose so much.

There was just so much to lose.

Hearing the crowd cheer for me.

The dream of being on the winning team.

The famous team.

Under the lights.

Hearing my name.

Stepping up to the plate.

With a platform to speak from.

A leader in the game called “the christian life”.

Just keep playing, Karen.

Keep running.

Hustling.

Don’t ask questions.

Don’t stop to think.

All those thoughts you’re thinking?

Those fears that are keeping you up at night?

The anxiety running through your veins?

Shhhh….

Push it all down.

Nobody has to know.

Keep smiling.

Even when people on the opposing team are hurting.

Pay them no attention.

Focus on the prize.

Win at all cost.

Winning is our favorite.

Wait.

I’m supposed to focus on the prize?

And being the best?

The greatest of all time?

The money?

The fame?

Well, I just couldn’t.

I can’t.

I can no longer give up my soul to win whatever game this is.

I cannot waste another minute pretending.

Rooting for the bullies because they are supposedly on my team.

The “right” team.

Not to mention the fear of screwing up.

I just cannot.

I need to be truthful.

Full of truth.

No more pretending.

This game isn’t for me.

It never was.

I’m pretty sure I threw in the towel a long time ago.

I told Jesus to sign me up for his team.

The one that makes peace.

With an endgame of loving others.

It’s not glamorous.

It’s not fast and furious.

It’s actually more like…

Pick up another towel and serve.

Stop and look around.

Slow down and listen.

Stop the insanity.

Cease striving.

Risk the fame and fortune of it all.

No need for any of it.

Rest.

Walk.

Learn and grow.

Pay no attention to the hecklers in the crowd.

Or the ones who are still pretending.

Find the peace that is inside of you.

And give it away.

Be open, honest and real.

And watch some new teammates to show up.

Karen R Shock resides in Fort Wayne, IN with her husband and their youngest son. She has three more children who are married and four beautiful grandchildren. She is a retired homeschool and public high school teacher and cheer coach. Life is hard, but fun. Learning to lean into the mess, find rest in today, and maybe even make some new friends along the way. We need each other. It’s so good to know we are not alone.

Relationships and Religion

Women in Religion

Previous Post

August 8, 2022

Is My Faith Being Destroyed?

Next Post

September 22, 2022 I Wore Yellow

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category anxiety comparison deconstruction faith Family Fear Driven Faith god homeschooling marriage Mental Health Misfit My momma parenting prayer Purity culture Rapture Theology Theology Uncategorized When church hurts

Select a Month January 2024 December 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Psalm 150 Psalm 117 Psalm 100 Psalm 1