Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Just One Thing

Home
New Visions
Grow a Key Inner Strength

Grow a Key Inner Strength

Last updated on: February 6, 2016 at 7:00 am by Rick Hanson

Grow a Key Inner Strength 2016-02-06T07:00:14-08:00 Rick Hanson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

What do you need?

The Practice:

Grow a key inner strength.

Why?

We all have issues – including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: “Life is wiggly.”) Of course, many of our issues – in the broad sense I’m using the word here – are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a business or raising a family; still, there’s some kind of challenge.

This JOT offers a basic road map for how to deal with issues – for healing, well-being and effectiveness, and personal growth. It’s a little longer than usual, but the approach here has helped me a lot – and I bet it will help you, too.

Some issues are out there in the world, such as financial concerns, an aging parent with dementia, a baby with colic, a tough quarter at work (or in college), a combative neighbor, or conflicts in an intimate relationship.

Some issues are in the body, such as an illness, injury, or vulnerability to dysregulated hormones.

And some issues are in the mind, like anxiety, depressed mood, low self-worth, trauma, lingering pain from childhood, learning disability, fear of public speaking, or grief over a loss.

Of course, an issue could be a combo (oh joy), such as feeling angry about being treated unfairly at work.

To deal with issues, we need resources. A fundamental model in psychology and medicine says that a person’s course – over a day or a year or a lifetime – is determined by just two factors: issues (challenges and vulnerabilities) and resources. As issues increase, so must resources as well.

How?

Resources can be found out in the world, in your body, and in your mind. The location of the resource does not need to be linked to the location of the issue. For example, better health insurance (resource in the world) could help with a chronic illness (issue in the body), and more self-confidence (resource in the mind) could help with the need to assert yourself at work (issue in the world).

I’m going to focus here on resources in your mind: what I call inner strengths. These include capabilities (e.g., mindfulness, emotional intelligence, resilience), positive emotions (e.g., gratitude, love, self-compassion), attitudes (e.g., openness, confidence, determination), somatic inclinations (e.g., relaxation, grit, helpfulness), and virtues (e.g., generosity, courage, wisdom). This is the good stuff we want to have inside ourselves.

Sure, it’s also good to do what you can to increase the resources out in your world (like nurturing a friendship with someone at work) and in your body (such as getting more exercise). But it’s often slow and difficult to build resources in the world and the body; you likely have more influence over growing resources in your mind. And as the resources in your mind grow, that will help you build resources in your body and your world.

To grow your inner strengths – particularly the key inner strengths that will help the most with an issue – consider the four questions below. You can use them for yourself or explore them with others. Throughout, it’s good to have an attitude of curiosity, kindness toward oneself, and resourcefulness.

1. What’s the issue?

Pick an issue. (Maybe you’re the rare person with just one.) Try to be reasonably specific. “Life sucks” could feel unfortunately true, but it doesn’t help you focus on resources or solutions.

If the issue is located in your world or body, be mindful of how it affects you psychologically. Sometimes we just can’t do anything about a condition in the world or body, but at least we can do something about our reactions to it.

2. What psychological resource – inner strength – if it were more present in your mind, would really help with this issue?

This is the key question. It can be interestingly difficult to answer, so an initial confusion or struggle with it is common. Clues toward an answer could come from exploring these questions:

What – if you felt or thought it more – would make things better?
What – if you had felt it more as a child, or whenever the issue began – would have made a big difference?
Does the issue ever get better for you – and if so, what factors in your mind (e.g., perspectives, feelings, motivations) help it be better?
Deep down, related to this issue, what does your heart long for?

There could be more than one resource, of course, but for simplicity and focus, it does help to zero in on just one or two key resources at a time.

Sometimes we need to grow an intermediate resource (e.g., capacity to tolerate feeling rejected, so that we are willing to risk experiencing that feeling) in order to get at the key resource we need to develop inside (e.g., inclination to ask for love).

3. How could you have experiences of this inner strength?

In other words, how could you activate it in your mind so that you can install it in your brain? (This is the first step – Have – of the HEAL process; you can learn more about it in my book, Hardwiring Happiness, or in this video on Taking in the Good.)

It could be that the resource is already present and you just need to notice it (e.g., the feeling that the body is basically alright right now). But often, you need to deliberately create it (e.g., call up a sense of determination from the emotional/somatic memory of times you pushed through a difficulty). In Hardwiring Happiness, I go through 16 ways to have (to activate) a beneficial experience, and you could draw upon one or more of these methods.

4. How could you help this experience of the inner strength really sink in to you?

In other words, how could you enhance the installation, the neural encoding, of this experience to grow this resource inside yourself?

This involves the second and third steps of the HEAL process: Enrich and Absorb.

If you like, you can be aware of both the resource (e.g., feeling determined) and one or more psychological aspects of the issue (e.g., feeling helpless) so that the resource starts associating with and helping with these aspects of the issue. This is the fourth, optional step of the HEAL process: Link.

* * *

Whew. This probably seems like a lot. But in practice it’s simple and straightforward. To use a metaphor, if you have scurvy, what would really help would be some vitamin C. What’s your vitamin C these days?

When you know what your vitamin C is, daily life becomes full of opportunities to notice or create experiences of this inner strength, this key psychological resource. And then you can take it into yourself, making it a part of you that’s with you wherever you go.

If this key resource is not yet clear for you, you can always look for authentic chances to feel cared about (such as included, seen, appreciated, liked, or loved). Love, broadly defined, is the ultimate multivitamin!

The post Grow a Key Inner Strength appeared first on Dr. Rick Hanson.

Just One Thing

blog

happiness

Previous Post

June 2, 2014

Intention of Renunciation

Next Post

June 6, 2014 Being for Yourself

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category art of charm Articles audio audio practice audio program Awareness Be Mindful being for yourself bless Book Excerpt brain change Breath Buddha's Brain bulletproof radio challenge yourself cognitive essentializing dance Dr. Rick Hanson Ecology and Environment Featured Featured Post forgive yourself from the porch Generosity Go Green Gratitude hard things honesty Inner Peace Interviews Just One Thing let go Letting Go lighten up Meditations mindful presence neurodharma Open Out overestimations Parenting Peace podcast Podcasts Quizzes release Rest in Green rick's picks speak truly strategy for happiness Take in The Good Taking in the Good Uncategorized Video you're alright your precious life Your Wise Brain

Select a Month May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 May 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who sang after crossing the Red Sea?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Sarah Miriam Rebekah Deborah