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How to Handle Discontentment in Singleness

How to Handle Discontentment in Singleness

Last updated on: October 14, 2015 at 12:45 pm by Chelsea Patterson

How to Handle Discontentment in Singleness 2015-10-14T12:45:38-05:00 Chelsea Patterson

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Like most single people, my contentment in my singleness ebbs and flows. Many days, my focus is on glorifying God, and seeking my daily and eternal satisfaction, joy and delight in Christ. Every now and then, in the quiet moments of my day, when my mind and soul has time to rest and think, dissatisfaction starts to creep in.

I would be lying if I said that I’m completely content at all times with all circumstances. Many of us can look at our lives and see a hundred things we’d change in a heartbeat if we had the power. My heart selfishly desires more because I’m not content with the things that my good Father has already promised and provided me in Christ. When I see my heart’s sinful dissatisfaction, I can quickly become both discouraged over how much I’m not content. The Apostle Paul is a source of great encouragement when he stated in Philippians 4:11 that he learned how to be content. Due to our fallen nature, contentment isn’t our natural state. Contentment is something we must strive after; as we grow more like Christ, we’ll grow more content in what He gives us.

“If I become content by having my desire satisfied, that is only self-love; but when I am contented with the hand of God and am willing to be at His disposal, that comes from my love to God.” – Jeremiah Burroughs

Truth be told, pridefully I think I should have certain gifts, and sometimes don’t understand why God has withheld that gift from me.

This mindset could apply to any circumstance in life…

– I think I deserve a husband

– I think I deserve a better job

– I think I deserve a slimmer figure

– I think I deserve a child

– I think I deserve more fun

– I think I deserve to make more money

– I think I deserve to be well-liked

….etc.

The list could go on and on, as we each list our unfulfilled desires and longings. The world tells us that it’s bad if all of our desires aren’t met immediately, or as quickly as possible. If I don’t have a husband, clearly I should be doing everything in my power to get one. Put myself out there more. Flirt more. Try everything to catch the eye of a man, etc. Those are things the world will tell me if I want to “fix my problem”. However, the Bible teaches something much more paradoxical.

Unfulfilled longings point to Christ.

I’m typing this at a Starbucks, and a father just walked by with his little girl. I closed my eyes and daydreamed about my life as a married woman. Having children of my own, holding the hand of my husband as we strolled through town, enjoying a Fall afternoon. It’s true, I do want to marry the man of my dreams, my best friend, and the love of my life. I do want a bunch of children, and want to raise them to love the Lord. While these longings are not necessarily bad, they are not the ultimate things in life. A friend encouraged me to read the book, “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment” by Jeremiah Burroughs. Slowly, I’ve been making my way through it, and having my heart wrecked and reshaped as I’ve pondered and prayed through Christian contentment.

“My brethren, the reason why you do not have contentment in the things of the world is not that you do not have enough of them. The reason is that they are not things proportional to that immortal soul of yours that is capable of God Himself.” – Jeremiah Burroughs

Contentment is a paradox. While Christians are instructed to find our joy and delight in the Lord, our hearts will always long for more. Christ does indeed fill His children with Himself, yet we’re sojourners in a land that isn’t our home. Heaven is our real home, because that’s where God is. Paul wrestled between staying on earth, because it was fruitful, and between the desire to depart and be with Christ. You can feel the tension in the below verses.

” For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” –

Beloved, may we strive to find as much satisfaction and joy in the Lord as possible while we’re on earth, and long for and prepare for the day when we will at last see our Savior face to face, and spend all eternity with Him.

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