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Finding my Jewish Soul: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery

Finding my Jewish Soul: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery

Last updated on: October 21, 2024 at 1:25 pm by Kelley Rouland M.A.

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Finding my Jewish Soul: A Journey of Spiritual Rediscovery 2024-10-21T13:25:32-06:00 Kelley Rouland M.A.

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Two Shabbat Candles Lit on wooden table under low lighing infront of a challa cover, a bottle of wine, and a Kiddush cup.

Shabbat Candles: Photo by Olaf.herfurth, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Have you ever felt misplaced in this world? I have and that feeling sent me on a pilgrimage.

Life is a journey full of twists and turns. Sometimes we make discoveries along the way. Like when I learned that my spiritual path would take a dramatic turn. I spent decades searching before I finally discovered my Jewish soul. This life-changing turn of events has led me to this new chapter of sharing my journey to Judaism.

What is a Jewish Soul?

Chabad.org explains the Kabalistic reasoning why non-Jews are drawn toward Judaism and ultimately choose to convert:

“Abraham and Sarah, the first Jewish couple, were married for many years before they were blessed with a child, but their union generated many spiritual children. Kabbalah explains that the souls created by Abraham and Sarah—and the souls created from the unions of other righteous couples—have been distributed among the nations of the world, and it is these souls who become converts to Judaism.”

The unexplained spark that I felt whenever I met a Jewish person or heard of anything or anyone Jewish was now apparent. I am a daughter of Abraham and Sarah–the first matriarch and patriarch of Judaism and I have finally found my way back home.

Here is Where it all Began

I grew up in a Christian home in a small town on the west-central Illinois plains. I was active in my youth group at the local Church of God. I have many beautiful memories of good times spent with my youth group and other church activities. My life was full of church potlucks and youth group activities. These early memories instilled in me a sense of community and spirituality.

Around the age of eighteen, I developed a curiosity for other religions. This interest took me on a beautiful journey through many different faiths and I am grateful for each one. Learning from other religions is a key component of human compassion. I’ve attended every protestant faith you can think of. I was married in the Catholic Church but later divorced. I even spent time in the Unity and Unitarian faiths. Yet all through this journey I felt a pull towards Judaism.

The Jewish Spark That Led Me Home

I can remember when I was a teenager, my dad introduced me to his friend and coworker who was Jewish. I felt a spark even though I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant to be Jewish. I was curious about him and his faith. Throughout the years there were other encounters. They were random and fleeting moments but enough to grab my attention. Whether someone spoke about their cousin who married a Jew or their neighbor who made delicious challah bread, I felt an unexplained spark.

Finally, one day, about 6 years ago my destiny began to materialize. The thought of joining the Jewish people entered my mind. I had no idea where to start but I bought a menorah. Two years went by before I knew what to do with the menorah. Then one day I reached out to a local Orthodox Rabbi. I began taking a Torah class and was occasionally involved in activities.

My first time at an Orthodox Shabbat dinner was one of the most magical moments of my life. The joyous event was full of singing, dancing, and laughter. It was an absolute heartwarming experience. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

After a couple of years, I knew that I wanted to join the Jewish people but under the strict rules of the Orthodox, I couldn’t convert due to my family life.

As much as I loved this community. I knew it was time to move on. I began looking into reform and conservative synagogues and finally settled on a temple that combined both sects. I finally found my home.

This is my community. Here I’ve begun my journey to Judaism. Hebrew classes, conversion courses, and Torah readings are my new normal. I have arrived at my spiritual destination.

How has This Changed my Social Life?

An important aspect of converting is how friends and family react. For me, there have been a variety of responses. The most important of which has been my immediate family. They have embraced my new journey and have even attended synagogue activities with me. In the case of others, it has sparked some gossip and cold shoulders. But I go back to my previous statement. Learning from other religions is a key component of human compassion.

Ultimately, we have to live our lives the way we see fit. Certain people may jump ship when you convert, it’s a sad reality. But we can’t live our lives to please others. The most important people to worry about are immediate family members. Beyond that, it is what it is. If they don’t accept you, you don’t need them.

Where do we go From Here?

I’m seventy-five percent through the conversion process and have loved every minute. As I move through the last leg of this process I will begin sharing my journey with the world. Joyfully Jewish about the conversion and beyond. This isn’t about expert commentary on Judaism, it’s far from it. You can compare me to a Jewish child attending religious school for the first time. Everything is brand new. Joyfully Jewish is about the journey of Jewish discovery. Here you will find articles about Kosher Cooking, Jewish Holidays, conversion, and eventually life as a Jewish person. So whether you are a seeker looking to learn more about Judaism, a Jew from birth, or a fellow convert, I would love for you to join me on this journey of discovery.

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About Kelley Rouland M.A.

Kelley Rouland has a Master’s in communication from the University of Colorado Colorado Springs. She is a freelance writer focusing on inspirational, spiritual, and religious content. You can read more about the author here.

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