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July 2009

July 10, 2009

Proof Things Only Got Worse For the Ugly Duckling

This picture I took yesterday of an Actual Living Bird proves, yet again, that fairy...

July 09, 2009

Where Hobbits Picnic

I hope the Hobbits don't sneak into my house at night and murder me for...

July 07, 2009

Five Pros & Cons About Sarah Palin.

1. Sarah is extremely good-looking. Pro: People automatically attribute all kinds of winning and noble...

July 05, 2009

Proof God Wants Me to Learn Math

July 01, 2009

Proof That God Litters

You would think, with all the attention the environment's been getting lately, that God wouldn't...

June 2009

June 28, 2009

Proof That Bees Make Water Meter Honey

Mmmmmm ... delicious water meter honey. I came across this extremely busy hive (bees were...

June 25, 2009

Proof That God is Creating a Race of Rock People

Here's a picture I took this weekend in some mountains four miles from our home....

June 24, 2009

Proof That God Confuses Plants with Animals

Proof that God confuses plants with animals

May 2009

May 31, 2009

Let Me Entertain You; Let Me Make You Smile

[scribd id=15978488 key=key-bb0pu42q1iod1mg5xri] I’ve bundled into an e-book 35 of my funniest blog essays,...

April 2009

April 28, 2009

“The-the-the …. That’s all, folks!”

"Calling it 'swine flu' is a clear failure of our National Euphemism Regulatory Department. NERD...

April 20, 2009

Plants. Coma. Pretty Pots. Coma.

If on this Monday morning you are feeling particularly uninspired and listless, I can help!...

April 14, 2009

Free Bestselling Book Idea!

For 10 years now I've been carrying around in my out-sized head a book idea...

March 2009

March 25, 2009

Why Not “Facenewspaper” or “Facemagazine”?

I'm a word guy. I would be a thought guy, but that's an insane amount...

March 24, 2009

California Itchin’

I wrote my last post (A Whole New World For Me) about an hour ago,...

March 18, 2009

Threatening Leprechauns Respond!

This piece has been moved here. Sorry for the inconvenience.

February 2009

February 07, 2009

Proof People Get Stoned at Work

Here's an email I recently received: Dear John: The other day a co-worker of mine...

February 03, 2009

Why Is Coffee So Popular? WHY? WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!

Coffee makes me so social. I think. I guess. I don't know. Go away.

January 2009

January 31, 2009

How To Get Out of Jury Duty

It's a privilege and even honor to serve on a jury. But if you ever...

January 30, 2009

A (Woefully Naive) Reader Asks: “Aren’t Famous People Just Like Everyone Else?”

Today's question ("Why does everyone go nuts over famous people, when they're just like non-famous...

November 2008

November 26, 2008

Think You Know Thanksgiving? You Don’t Know Squat, Squanto.

1. The Pilgrims were: a. an exceptionally boring rock band from Kidneypool, England. b. a...

June 2007

June 30, 2007

When punctuation makes the difference between a second date and a restraining order

Because I co-authored a book about punctuation, Comma Sense: A FUN-damental Guide to Punctuation, I sometimes get e-mails...