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February 2009

February 03, 2009

Why Is Coffee So Popular? WHY? WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!

Coffee makes me so social. I think. I guess. I don't know. Go away.

January 2009

January 31, 2009

How To Get Out of Jury Duty

It's a privilege and even honor to serve on a jury. But if you ever...

January 30, 2009

A (Woefully Naive) Reader Asks: “Aren’t Famous People Just Like Everyone Else?”

Today's question ("Why does everyone go nuts over famous people, when they're just like non-famous...

January 29, 2009

Do Pigs Sweat?

A reader named Jess wrote to ask, "Mr. Answers, do pigs sweat?" Good question, Jess!...

January 28, 2009

What does “echo rand (0,5)” mean?

Thanks for the question, Daniel Gurtner! "Echo Rand" was a favorite game of children in...

January 15, 2009

Every Time a Bell Laughs an Angel Gets Confused

Are you interested in the subject of Christianity and humor? Me, too! And that's why...

January 05, 2009

I’m Not Lettin’ Go of Xmas Until They Pry It From My Cold, Dead, Fat Fingers

Randomness: The important thing to remember when returning to work on a normal Monday after...

November 2008

November 07, 2008

Minutes From the First John Shore Facebook Fan Club Meeting

Below are the minutes of the first Official Meeting (done cyberistically, of course) of the...

October 2008

October 05, 2008

Ahhhhh…Sunday Afternoon. I Hate It.

Ah, Sunday afternoon. How I hate it. It is, after all, naught but the itchy...

September 2008

September 08, 2008

The Peace That Surpasetheth Understanding

Ah, peace. How I want some. Luckily for me, I have all of it---so no...

August 2008

August 28, 2008

Appliance Porn and My Ghetto Laundromat

(This post is pertinent to yesterday's Our Living Room: Why Pottery Barn's Profits Will Be...

August 26, 2008

A Pink Wall? “God Is Outraged!”

This is what you see in our new home when you walk up the stairs...

August 26, 2008

Leader of the Pack

Yesterday a reader named Judy was kind enough to comment (in response to my post, A Working...

August 25, 2008

A Working Class Zero

Hello, reader! Unfortunately for you, the Interesting Quotient of this post drops precipitously from there....

July 2008

July 25, 2008

What Was This Car Salesman Thinking?

I was in an elevator; I opened the emergency phone box (because what else is...

July 12, 2008

Who Used to Own This Furniture?

[polldaddy poll="778398"]

July 10, 2008

Favorite Song of the Houseboat People?

[polldaddy poll="773991"] (For the record, those are Actual Homes, located on the street right behind where...

July 09, 2008

What Did 50’s Kids Think of This Toy?

[polldaddy poll="771702"]

July 09, 2008

God, Frivolity, God, a Kodak Brownie Camera

As you may know, lately, here in Blog Land, I've been pretty seriously goofing about with...

July 08, 2008

This Vanity Plate Confuses Me

[polldaddy poll="765445"] Sort of related posts: Is This Really The Right Name for a Porta-Potty?...

July 07, 2008

Is This the Right Name For a Port-a-Potty?

No. The answer is no. In the same vein: Brilliant Work of Modern Art, or...

July 07, 2008

Brilliant Work of Modern Art, or Actual Garbage?

In an alley the other day I found the above. Total Work of Art, or Obvious Garbage??...

July 06, 2008

5 Things to Tell Yourself at the End of a Three-Day Weekend

1. You don't have to be all that great on Monday morning. 2. By about 11 o'clock Tuesday...

July 04, 2008

Evil Tree!

This socially maladjusted tree, which grows right next to my parking space in our apartment complex,...

July 02, 2008

Exploited Cat In Illegitimate Apartment Zoo!

These stark pictures are the emotionally wrenching evidence that a nefarious renter in my apartment complex...

July 01, 2008

New California Cell Phone & Driving Law: Are We Stupid Yet?

As of today, it is illegal in California to drive while talking on your cell...

June 2008

June 24, 2008

I’m Green Like Kermit

My Hero I used to be a broke underachiever. Thank God those days are over. Now,...

June 19, 2008

What McCain Supporters Look Like To Obama

Ineffectually threatening. Operates underground. Totally blind. Slings mud. Grabby. Extremely uncuddly. Probably the result of inbreeding. (This,...

June 17, 2008

More Fun With Animals: What Obama’s Supporters Look Like To McCain

Moronically loyal. Dreadlocked. Blind. Prone to fleas. High maintenance. Hot. (Thanks, Jon Gilbert!) See also: And...

June 16, 2008

How John McCain Sees Barack Obama

The above is a picture of: A. How John Mcain Sees Barack Obama: lightweight, disconcertingly...