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November 2009

November 03, 2009

The U.S. Christian Community Finally Returns My Calls!

After I posted yesterday's Why Won't the U.S. Christian Community Return My Phone Calls?, my...

November 02, 2009

Why Won’t the U.S. Christian Community Return My Phone Calls?

In which I answer the question a Jamaican reader asks me about how the U.S....

November 01, 2009

Life is Halloween

The similarities between life and Halloween pretty much never stop.

October 2009

October 16, 2009

Balloon Boy’s Dad: “Feel Like Doublin’ Your Allowance, Son?”

A conversation between Richard Henne and his son, Falcon.

October 09, 2009

“Honey, Wake Up! You’ve Won the Nobel Prize!”

In the Obama's bedroom on the morning of the day on which Barack Obama won...

September 2009

September 24, 2009

These Shoes Are Made For Bloggin …

From the September 14, 2009 New Yorker:

September 11, 2009

It’s a Necessarily Horrible Early-19th C. Hand-Cranked Skull Saw!

In the astonishingly competitive contest that yesterday raged across the internet as thousands hundreds tens...

September 10, 2009

The Big Clue to Yesterday’s Mystery Thing

We've laughed. We've cried. We've bonded. We've been disturbed by a mental image of Martin's...

September 09, 2009

Guess What This Thing Is and Win An Inscribed, Autographed Book!

If you are the first to correctly guess what the above Mystery Thingamajig is I...

September 01, 2009

I Laughed So Hard At This I Feared for My Life

This, to me, is about as funny as five minutes can possibly get. See also...

July 2009

July 10, 2009

Proof Things Only Got Worse For the Ugly Duckling

This picture I took yesterday of an Actual Living Bird proves, yet again, that fairy...

July 07, 2009

Five Pros & Cons About Sarah Palin.

1. Sarah is extremely good-looking. Pro: People automatically attribute all kinds of winning and noble...

July 05, 2009

Proof God Wants Me to Learn Math

July 01, 2009

Proof That God Litters

You would think, with all the attention the environment's been getting lately, that God wouldn't...

June 2009

June 28, 2009

Proof That Bees Make Water Meter Honey

Mmmmmm ... delicious water meter honey. I came across this extremely busy hive (bees were...

June 25, 2009

Proof That God is Creating a Race of Rock People

Here's a picture I took this weekend in some mountains four miles from our home....

June 24, 2009

Proof That God Confuses Plants with Animals

Proof that God confuses plants with animals

June 22, 2009

Proof That God Gets Bored

Yesterday my wife Cat and I hung around uber-snazzy La Jolla, CA, which is just...

June 14, 2009

Men: Take the Midlife Crisis Test!

Are you a guy who thinks he might be having a midlife crisis? If you'd...

June 12, 2009

She Takes the Pledge

In response to my Getting Big Laughs with the Pledge of Allegiance, a reader sent...

May 2009

May 27, 2009

Me, Drunk on my Cooking Show

Welcome back to Cooking with John. I'm your cooking toast ... your coasting took ......

May 22, 2009

The Cooking Show in My Head

Here's the TV cooking show going on inside my head as I make my signature...

April 2009

April 28, 2009

“The-the-the …. That’s all, folks!”

"Calling it 'swine flu' is a clear failure of our National Euphemism Regulatory Department. NERD...

April 22, 2009

My Breakfast With My Christian Book Agent

In which I pitch to my agent two SUPERB ideas for Christian books: "The Shaq,"...

March 2009

March 24, 2009

California Itchin’

I wrote my last post (A Whole New World For Me) about an hour ago,...

March 24, 2009

A Whole New World for Me

When I was but 50 years old, I was a fool. But now that I'm...

February 2009

February 27, 2009

The Opposition Response to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount

All of us have just heard Jesus Christ give his big long speech. Mr. Christ...

February 25, 2009

Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “Quite the Crowd Pleaser, Charlie.”

Following Obama's speech last night, I found myself wondering what today's political "analysts" might say...

February 07, 2009

Proof People Get Stoned at Work

Here's an email I recently received: Dear John: The other day a co-worker of mine...

February 04, 2009

Why Do Numbers Go Up on Phones, But Down on Calculators?

"Jess" (who clearly has too much time on her hands) wrote to ask why on...