Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Young woman: This, finally, is your world

Young woman: This, finally, is your world

Last updated on: March 23, 2016 at 11:39 am by John Shore

Young woman: This, finally, is your world 2016-03-23T11:39:45-08:00 John Shore

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

[Fwiw, on my former blog–before I moved my blog here to Patheos–this post did some 6k shares.]

If you’re a teenage girl, don’t you think it’s great when a middle-aged guy like me whom you don’t even know starts giving you advice about life? Isn’t it just the best when that happens?

Do you know why we men are always giving out advice like we’re the Oracle of Mt. Potbelly? Because we think we know everything. And do you know why men think they know everything? Because men are entitled and spoiled.

And the reason that’s true is because this, still, is a man’s world.

Back when a small contained fire was the height of luxury, and dressing up meant wearing your animal skin fur side out, men went out into the big dangerous world, killed dinner (usually in coordination with other men–which probably explains football, but that’s really another story), and brought it home to their women-folk, whose primary, most fundamental job was to have babies.

I know you know this. We all know things used to be real … barbaric like that. And, survival-wise, that whole system made sense: men are better at running around killing things; women are better at having babies.

But men being stronger and faster than women also meant that men could beat women up.

The whole world we know today–all of civilization that sprang in its infinite forms from the days when men killed for food and women needed to be protected and fed for months on end so that they could safely give birth to the next generation–is built upon the fact, and wholly reflects the reality, that, generally speaking (and less and less often every day, thank God) men can beat women up.

Men have a grossly disproportionate amount of power in this world. And the core reason this is true is because men are generally bigger, stronger, and faster than women.

Men aren’t smarter than women; men aren’t more resourceful than women; men aren’t more insightful than women. But they are—and certainly used to be—bigger and stronger than women.

Which means they can beat women up.

And that fact, more than any other, has defined the history and culture of the world.

If you’re born a man, you were born extremely privileged. And whenever you’re born into a privileged class, it’s easy enough to wind up thinking that you personally are the bomb. That you’re special. That you’re gifted. That you somehow deserve all the power you enjoy.

That you know things. That you’re wise.

And that is why men tend to pontificate and lecture and grandly dispense advice like Solomon the Tries. They think the world needs and wants all the hot air they blow into it.

So what does it mean to you, young woman, to live in a world still basically owned and operated by men?

First and foremost, it means that you need to be smart. A great deal, everywhere around you and all the time, will conspire to keep you convinced that you’re not smart — that what should be most important to you is being pretty, cute, sexy, perky, and all that other sort of hyper-feminine stuff that’s supposed to make men want to protect and impregnate you.

Don’t you buy into any of that. Let other women assume the role of docile second-class citizen if for some sad reason they think that will work for them. Insist on something better for yourself.

Be smart. Be alert. Don’t buy into the hype.

Pay attention to all the ways in which society (and your family, and your friends, and your boyfriends, and your teachers, and your boss, and the media, and on and on and on) signals to you that you don’t deserve what men take for granted, that you’re not good enough, that you aren’t worth as much. Smack that crap back where it came from every time someone tries to serve it to you. Don’t take it. Don’t accept the message that being a woman makes you inferior when that message is delivered to you from any large institution — like, say, via Christianity. God doesn’t want women submitting to, or being subservient to, anyone; that’s just men trying to hang onto the power they’ve always had. And don’t take it when it’s delivered to you in a personal, private way—like, say, through a would-be boyfriend or husband.

Whack that nonsense back, every time. Don’t give in an inch. If someone, in any way, tries to put you down, call them on it. Make them own that mess. And if you doing that alienates them from you, wave good-bye to ’em. Life’s too short to spend time with anyone who ever tries to diminish you, however subtly they might do it. (And people always deliver the “You’re a loser” message so subtly you barely feel that knife slipping in. So remain alert to even, shall we say, the slightest prick.)

Let any potential mate of yours know that coming anywhere near you means changing the rules they’re probably used to. This isn’t 10,000 B.C. It’s not even 1955. Donna Reed is dead. Nobody’s out hunting woolly mammoths for dinner; women don’t have to depend anymore on a big strong man to feed and protect them.

We’re finally in a time where what really does matter, what really does run the world, is brains, character, and nerve. As the news shows us every day, men still have much more power in this world than, God knows, they should. But that’s rapidly changing. And, most importantly, things will never go back to the way things used to be.

We really are in a new time; this really is a new world. And in this world, women get to be whomever and however they want.

In your life, young woman, a lot of men who beneath their chest-pounding bravado are weak or scared will try to keep you down. Remember to always, always, always step over such men; to go around them; to ignore them; to outwork their retro-asses. Such men are part of the old. Their ideas about who you are or should be no more belong in your heart and mind than a hand grenade belongs in a child’s backpack.

This, finally—now, today—is your world.

And don’t you ever let anyone tell you differently.

Relationships

Previous Post

May 29, 2011

To Any Young Woman Struggling Against Low Self-Esteem

Next Post

June 1, 2011 My Foolproof Method for Avoiding Low Self-Esteem

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Christian Issues Christian Spirituality Dear John En Espanol Everywhere She's Not Humor Look See Pastor Bob's Corner Personal Portuguese Relationships Russian Short-short story Smith Family Chronicles Uncategorized

Select a Month March 2024 August 2022 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 February 2020 December 2019 June 2019 December 2018 May 2018 May 2017 January 2017 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What city did the walls fall down after the Israelites marched around it?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jericho Nazareth Nineveh Jerusalem

Books by This Author Books by John Shore

See All Titles »