Help Save Sasquatch; And Why I Wash My Sink with My Face

Last updated on: January 3, 2011 at 6:55 am by John Shore

Help Save Sasquatch; And Why I Wash My Sink with My Face 2011-01-03T06:55:34-08:00 John Shore

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Big foot. Near water. Not good.

Wanna help me be more famouser? “Best Religion Blog” is a new category for this year’s Weblog Awards. If you think it worthy of the honor, I’d appreciate you nominating this here blog right blog in that category. Finalists are chosen by number of nominations, so every nomination is a big help. Thank you!

You can nominate the same blog in multiple categories–but you must nominate at least three different blogs total. So (to take a completely random example) besides in the Best Religion category, you could also nominate my blog in the categories of Most Humorous Weblog, Best Writing of a Weblog, and Weblog of the Year. As long as you also nominate two other blogs anywhere amongst any of their categories, you’re done! If you later change your mind about your nominations, just redo them, and your new nominations will cancel out your old one.

And then encourage everyone you know to help me out in this same great way.

Hey, man. No one said loving me was easy. Even I have to look away from my full-length mirror when I step out of the shower. The sheer glistening glory of it is much too much.

Okay, fine. I look away because otherwise it’s like staring at Sasquatch Gets Dunked. Plus, over the holidays I gained a pound or ten. So now what I really look like is Sasquatch Escapes Jenny Craig, and Falls Into a Lake. And who wants to see that getting out of a shower? Not me. And I usually don’t, either. Because I’m usually in such a hurry to get out of the shower that I often forget to rinse off, which I tend to remember I’ve forgotten to do at the moment I’m simultaneously stepping out of the shower and having shampoo or soap drip into my eye. But as a Winning Type of Person, I loathe going backwards in life. So instead I usually just stagger to my bathroom sink, and jam my head under its spigot.

The problem is that my giant head doesn’t really fit under there. And that is why I don’t really shave all that often: I need my beard to protect my face from when I scrape it against the underside of my bathroom faucet.

The real problem, though, is then I get old toothpaste gunk all over the side of my face that’s not getting rinsed, because when it comes to keeping my bathroom sink clean, I pretty much basically don’t. And one of the reasons I don’t really have to is because three or four times a week I end up cleaning it with the sides of my face. And that leaves my beard smelling delightfully spearamintish, if looking just a tad caked and crusted.

So, yes, I end up rinsed enough, and saving on aftershave.

Still, though. I can’t help thinking there’s a better way. I’ll let you know when I think of what it is.

But what was I talking about? Oh, right! Duh. Yes: please help me win the Weblog Award for Best Religious Blog. I work my doinker off trying to write right here the best stuff I can about religion and God and spirituality and all that sort of thing. And of course I’d like as many people as possible to read what I have to say on such matters. The Weblog award would help with that. So thanks. And God bless you on this first week back into Real Life after what I hope was for you a glorious holiday season.

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