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Christians and Atheists in Communion — in Harmony, I Mean! Now What?

Christians and Atheists in Communion — in Harmony, I Mean! Now What?

Last updated on: September 18, 2007 at 10:25 am by John Shore

Christians and Atheists in Communion — in Harmony, I Mean! Now What? 2007-09-18T10:25:05-08:00 John Shore

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I don’t think it’s going too far to say that my recent posts (“An Honest Question: Atheists, How Do You Process Your Guilt?” and “What the Atheists Taught Me” ) have established utter peace and harmony between Christians and atheists around the world.

Isn’t it just the greatest thing? (Um … down there, in the comments section of “What the Atheists Taught Me.” Are you trying to embarass me?)

I think that what really turned the tide toward complete peace and harmony is when the atheists finally agreed that, unlike Christians, they shouldn’t be allowed to capitalize what they’re called. And that compromise, of course, led we Christians to eventually acquiesce to the atheists’ request that we stop throwing lit matches at them all the time.

Which of course facilitated the Full Belly Accord, in which both sides agreed that, in principal anyway, they like food.

Ah, peace. What a blessing. (Or “great thing”!) No more drive-by leafleting. No more crank phone calls at 3 a.m. (How many times have we Christians answered our ringing phones , heard a voice intoning, “Hello, this is God calling,” gasped back “Really?”, and heard, “No, moron! Grow up!” before the final click. And how many ruses have Christians devised to try and trick atheists to cranking up and keeping up the heat in their house. (A virus in the area you kill by sterilizing your air! And atheists are supposed to be such fans of science!)

Thank God/nobody that’s all behind us now. It was something I was definitely glad to get done.

I think that primarily we owe our newfound contentment with the status quo to my laptop. Before I had a laptop, I was forced to write in my office, which involves sitting up straight. Post-laptop, however, I write so slumped down on my couch that even right now I can’t swallow. I think this casual, relaxed position allows my consciousness to be freed up in a way that just can’t happen when I’m getting enough oxygen to my head.

Anyway, I’d like to congratulate everyone who helped to do so much to achieve peace between those who believe in Jesus Christ, and those who are going to hell don’t. Ross, Calladus, Marcy, Kimberley, L Palm, Greta, Cragar, Thomas, Gary, the ever-excellent Hjordes … all of you — and so many more I can’t mention because it would involve more scrolling and besides my vision growing blurry my hands are starting to go numb — deserve a share in the spotlight. In fact, each and every one of you should go, right now, and hold your face close to a brightly glowing light bulb. Remove a shade if you have to. You deserve it.

I’ll do the same!

And after we’ve had our moment in the light, let’s all meet again right back here again, shall we, and get to work solving that darn Christian-Muslim problem? Why not! We can do it! World peace is within our grasp!

And we’ll get started making it, just as soon as the burn spot in our vision fades away.

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