Woody Woodpecker Turns Manic Attack Bird, Pt. 2

Last updated on: June 11, 2007 at 9:51 pm by John Shore

Woody Woodpecker Turns Manic Attack Bird, Pt. 2 2007-06-11T21:51:40-08:00 John Shore

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The year was 1976. Big shoes were in. So was big hair, big pants legs, big belts, big hats, big sunglasses, big neckties, and collars on men’s shirts that were so huge it was like having your head stuck between two skateboard ramps.

I don’t know why everything was so big in the 70’s. I think it had something to do with all the drugs people starting taking in the 60’s. I think when everyone realized that drugs are horrible for you and make you crazy, they stopped taking them–but then still wanted everything to look the way it had back when they’d been popping major hallucinogens.

Hence the introduction into our culture of disco balls, lime-green polyester jumpsuits, and the Bee-Gees.

That’s just a theory, though. I really don’t know.

In 1976 I was 18 years old and basically homeless. (I moved out of my house just after turning seventeen. My home situation was … an outstanding one to leave.) I had a friend from high school, though, who, as a new student at the University of California at Santa Cruz, was staying in the dorms there, and she allowed me to spend the nights in her dorm room.

(Um … this might be a good time to mention that this was 20 years before I became a Christian–and that my choice for where to spend my nights really did boil down to that dorm room, or outside somewhere. And I’m here to tell you: the nights in Santa Cruz are cold. I’m not by any means saying that staying with my friend was right, but only that it didn’t even occur to me not to be glad that I at least had a place to sleep.)

The good news is that I had a place to sleep. The bad is that my friend had a single-occupancy room on a dorm floor wing dedicated to girls only. At that time, at that school, all the dorm floors were co-ed. Girls and boy weren’t put together as roommates–but two girls would room next to two guys, who’d be next to two girls, who’d be across the hall from two guys, and so on. All the floors of all the dorms were like that.

All of them, that is, except for the one on which my friend had ended up. That hall was strictly for girls only.

Point being: I didn’t belong anywhere on that campus–and I sure didn’t belong anywhere on that wing of that dormitory on that campus.

Which meant I had to spend my days being gone. I could sneak in very late at night after everyone else was asleep–but during the days it was definitely best if I acted like a banana, and split.

So where did I spend my days? But of course: In the Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park. UCSC is located right beside that massive spread of prime redwood real estate–I think it’s actually in the park–so every morning before dawn I’d grab whatever food my friend has filched for me the night before from the dorm cafeteria, jam it into my pockets, and head out to spend yet another day being Fern Boy of the West.

You spend enough 12-hour days alone in a redwood forest, and you know what happens to you? You go a little insane. But besides that, you learn some stuff about nature. Nothing that’ll ever do you any good, or anything–but after a while you can’t help but pick up a few things about Woodland Creatures, and flowers, and … I don’t know … dirt.

Especially about birds. Birds seem to be the one thing that kept, like, happening to me when I was out there. You know how birds are: They’re so … intense about everything.

Anyway, I used to have a lot of time to kill out in those woods. So one of the things I used to do was find a spot that seemed like it had Optimum Viewing Possibilities–my favorite, for instance, was on the edge of this vast meadow–and then sit in that spot and basically try not to move for, like, eight hours.

The idea, see, is that I would just sort of blend with my environment, and then, after awhile–after all the animals either got so used to me or simply forgot I was there–I figured I’d get to see like, Top Notch forest stuff! Wildlife! Deer! Other … wildlife! Gnomes, maybe! Snow White and however many of her dwarves would still be alive! Who knew?

But definitely animals. That was the point: To see as many animals as I could.

Ergo, I found it wise to sit, freeze, wait and watch.

And that’s what I was doing the day I spotted, in the crook of a large, gnarly, non-redwood tree almost all the way across my Fave Rave meadow, a giant bird’s nest.

And that, I’m afraid, is where all my woodsy troubles began.

Personal

Woodpecker

Previous Post

June 9, 2007

Zinc Phosphide Used on San Diego's Killer Attack Squirrels!

Next Post

June 13, 2007 Woody Woodpecker Turns Manic Attack Bird, Pt. 3

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Christian Issues Christian Spirituality Dear John En Espanol Everywhere She's Not Humor Look See Pastor Bob's Corner Personal Portuguese Relationships Russian Short-short story Smith Family Chronicles Uncategorized

Select a Month March 2024 August 2022 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 February 2020 December 2019 June 2019 December 2018 May 2018 May 2017 January 2017 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What acrostic device is used in many Psalms and Proverbs?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Reversed order Chronological order Alphabetic order Numerical sequence

Books by This Author Books by John Shore

See All Titles »