Maintain your daily office<\\/h2>\\n \ What is your core spiritual practice? What are the things you do every day, every week, every season, no matter what? Keep doing them.<\\/p>\\n For me, this is my four daily prayers and my four weekly offerings. I\\u2019ve been doing my four daily prayers for 13 years<\\/a>. One of my weekly offerings is almost as old \\u2013 the others are newer. They\\u2019re not \\u201cpractices\\u201d anymore \\u2013 they\\u2019re part of who and what I am. They keep me connected to my Gods, my ancestors, and the spirits with whom I share this world. They remind me of what\\u2019s most important.<\\/p>\\n Now, when I\\u2019m very sick, do I occasionally sleep through the afternoon prayer and catch it up just before I do the final evening prayer? Yes. Are there days when I simply cannot pour a libation and offer a brief prayer instead? Also yes. I\\u2019m not perfect, and my Gods don\\u2019t expect perfection<\\/a>. But I can\\u2019t not<\\/em> do these things.<\\/p>\\n The time to build this kind of practice is when you\\u2019re feeling fine. When you start out all full of enthusiasm and look forward to each repetition. When it\\u2019s inconvenient but you do it anyway, because you said you would. When you really don\\u2019t feel like it but you know you can, and so you do.<\\/p>\\n In her excellent book Blackthorn\\u2019s Protection Magic<\\/a><\\/em>, Amy Blackthorn says that in times of stress, we do not rise to the occasion. Rather, we fall back on our lowest level of training. What is true of self defense (both magical and mundane) is also true of spiritual practice. No matter how tired I am, no matter how sick I am, my daily spiritual practice is a benefit and not a burden, because I\\u2019ve done it so consistently for so long.<\\/p>\\n Whatever your core spiritual practices, keep them up even when things are going badly. Especially when things are going badly.<\\/p>\\n

{"id":30419,"date":"2024-05-12T03:00:33","date_gmt":"2024-05-12T09:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?p=30419"},"modified":"2024-05-11T14:41:20","modified_gmt":"2024-05-11T20:41:20","slug":"spiritual-practice-when-you-dont-feel-like-practicing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2024\/05\/spiritual-practice-when-you-dont-feel-like-practicing.html","title":{"rendered":"Spiritual Practice When You Don\u2019t Feel Like Practicing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

One of the reasons I wrote Walpurgisnacht In The Infirmary<\/a> was to be honest.<\/p>\n

Too much of what is shared on the internet \u2013 especially on social media \u2013 is carefully curated. We share the things that are going well and skip over the things that aren\u2019t. While the old saying about not airing dirty laundry in public is still valid, there\u2019s a fine line between maintaining your privacy and presenting a false front.<\/p>\n

Being honest means making it clear that there are times when life is too big for me. If I\u2019m in the infirmary on Walpurgisnacht then some of you are too. We need to be honest with each other \u2013 but mainly honest with ourselves \u2013 about doing the things we need to do to get better. To get well.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not well, but I am better. I want to acknowledge that improvement. And for the sake of honesty, I want to talk about what I\u2019m doing now \u2013 and what I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n

If we stop practicing whenever we don\u2019t feel like it, we\u2019ll never get anywhere. On the other hand, if we insist on \u201cpowering through\u201d all our injuries, illnesses, and complications of life, we\u2019ll find ourselves crashing hard \u2013 and that\u2019s not a good thing either.<\/p>\n

What can you let go and what must you do no matter what? You must answer these questions for yourself. This is what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n

"The <\/a><\/p>\n

Maintain your daily office<\/h2>\n \ What is your core spiritual practice? What are the things you do every day, every week, every season, no matter what? Keep doing them.<\/p>\n For me, this is my four daily prayers and my four weekly offerings. I\u2019ve been doing my four daily prayers for 13 years<\/a>. One of my weekly offerings is almost as old \u2013 the others are newer. They\u2019re not \u201cpractices\u201d anymore \u2013 they\u2019re part of who and what I am. They keep me connected to my Gods, my ancestors, and the spirits with whom I share this world. They remind me of what\u2019s most important.<\/p>\n Now, when I\u2019m very sick, do I occasionally sleep through the afternoon prayer and catch it up just before I do the final evening prayer? Yes. Are there days when I simply cannot pour a libation and offer a brief prayer instead? Also yes. I\u2019m not perfect, and my Gods don\u2019t expect perfection<\/a>. But I can\u2019t not<\/em> do these things.<\/p>\n The time to build this kind of practice is when you\u2019re feeling fine. When you start out all full of enthusiasm and look forward to each repetition. When it\u2019s inconvenient but you do it anyway, because you said you would. When you really don\u2019t feel like it but you know you can, and so you do.<\/p>\n In her excellent book Blackthorn\u2019s Protection Magic<\/a><\/em>, Amy Blackthorn says that in times of stress, we do not rise to the occasion. Rather, we fall back on our lowest level of training. What is true of self defense (both magical and mundane) is also true of spiritual practice. No matter how tired I am, no matter how sick I am, my daily spiritual practice is a benefit and not a burden, because I\u2019ve done it so consistently for so long.<\/p>\n Whatever your core spiritual practices, keep them up even when things are going badly. Especially when things are going badly.<\/p>\n

Keep commitments, cancel plans<\/h2>\n* ** As I was reminded on Walpurgisnacht, when your capacity is lower your workload has to be lower, or you\u2019ll break down. Something has to give.<\/p>\n ** Keep your commitments, but cancel plans when necessary. What\u2019s the difference? A commitment is something that involves someone else, where canceling would cause them significant difficulties.<\/p>\n I committed to lead our Spring Equinox ritual<\/a> \u2013 I did it. I committed to lead the Sunday Service at Denton UU on June 16 \u2013 I\u2019m going to do it (I got the first draft of the sermon done this week, which was very encouraging).<\/p>\n On the other hand, I had a major class I planned to teach earlier this year and I had to cancel it. I had a shorter class planned for this summer. I haven\u2019t completely canceled it, but it\u2019s definitely not going to start in June. Maybe later in the summer. Maybe later this year. Maybe not till next year, or beyond. We\u2019ll see how things go.<\/p>\n As the calendar progresses, I\u2019m reviewing plans and if I don\u2019t have the bandwidth, I\u2019m canceling them.<\/p>\n* Unless you have to cancel a commitment<\/h2>\n* A few years ago I was scheduled to lead a UU Sunday Service. I had everything ready to go, and then on Saturday night I got sick. After the third time throwing up I realized two things: one, I had food poisoning, and two, there was no way I was going to be able to lead the service the next day. I texted our minister and fellow CUUPS leader Cynthia Talbot, explained and apologized, and then went back to bed.<\/p>\n They managed to put a service together on the fly. It wasn\u2019t ideal, but it worked \u2013 and it worked a lot better than me trying to \u201cpower through\u201d in the aftermath of being violently ill. Sometimes you have to cancel a commitment.<\/p>\n I had to cancel a podcast interview earlier this year because I could not get into the necessary frame of mind to talk for an hour about spiritual matters.<\/p>\n If the Sunday Service I\u2019m working on now had been on Walpurgisnacht I would have had to cancel. Thankfully, it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n Doing what you have to do to keep your commitments is one thing. Trying to do what you can\u2019t do at the moment is another thing entirely. If you have to cancel a commitment, then cancel it.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t skip the things that feed your soul<\/h2>\n I made a commitment to be at Mystic South<\/a> in July and I\u2019m going to keep it. But Mystic South could do just fine without me. I\u2019m not sure I could do without Mystic South. I\u2019m doing one presentation, and it\u2019s something I\u2019ve done before. Mainly, I like being there, going to presentations and rituals, and having all the conversations you just can\u2019t have anywhere else. Mystic South feeds my soul, and I would be doing myself a disservice if I canceled.<\/p>\n I have to be careful here. As came up in the Walpurgisnacht conversation, this work brings meaning and purpose to my life. I would get a lot out of teaching that big course. But I don\u2019t have the physical and emotional resources to teach it at the moment, so it has to wait.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve had people \u2013 who I love and respect \u2013 tell me to \u201cjust drop everything.\u201d I hear what they\u2019re saying, but while my capacity isn\u2019t what it was five years ago, it\u2019s not zero either. I can do some things, and I want to make sure I keep doing the things that feed my soul.<\/p>\n Ease back into things at your own pace<\/h2>\n One of the best things I\u2019ve done over the past few years is to walk more. It\u2019s good exercise, and it\u2019s a good opportunity to think and meditate and write (or at least, to plan out what I want to write). I try to do a short walk two or three times during the week, and then a longer walk on the weekend.<\/p>\n It\u2019s been difficult to hit my usual pace this year. And it\u2019s been impossible to do anything ever since I came back from Europe sick.<\/p>\n This week I started feeling better, and decided it was time to start walking again. I did two miles before work on Friday. I made four miles yesterday. I was as tired after that four miles as I was after six or seven a couple months ago. I\u2019m taking today off.<\/p>\n And I\u2019m not diving back into my previous schedule. I like to think I could do that, but I know I can\u2019t. I have to ease back into things.<\/p>\n I see too many people who cut back for the reasons discussed in this post, get to feeling a little better and try to dive back into the deep end, and then crash again in a week or two. I don\u2019t want to do that. I especially don\u2019t want to turn plans into commitments and then have to cancel them because I wasn\u2019t as well as I thought I was. As I hoped I was. As I knew I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n I know that some of the issues behind Walpurgisnacht In The Infirmary<\/a> aren\u2019t over with. They\u2019re quiet at the moment, but they can jump back up in my face at any time. Even as I start feeling better, the possibility of a relapse remains.<\/p>\n And so I\u2019m going to ease back into my \u201cnormal\u201d activities at a pace I\u2019m sure I can sustain.<\/p>\n The journey is long<\/h2>\n Or at least, longer than I wish it was. But the process is simple, even if it\u2019s anything but easy.<\/p>\n Keep doing the things that feed your soul. Keep doing the things that move you in the direction you want to go. Make sure your workload doesn\u2019t exceed your capacity, even if you have to drop things you\u2019d rather not drop. Give yourself the time you need to get better, and to get well.<\/p>\n That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing \u2013 what I\u2019m trying to do.<\/p>\n We\u2019ll see how it goes.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ***If we stop practicing whenever we don\u2019t feel like it, we\u2019ll never get anywhere. But if we insist on powering through all our injuries, illnesses, and complications, we\u2019ll find ourselves crashing hard. 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