Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Pagan
Setting Expectations for Spiritual Experiences

Setting Expectations for Spiritual Experiences

Last updated on: February 21, 2021 at 3:00 am by John Beckett

Setting Expectations for Spiritual Experiences 2021-02-17T15:27:23-06:00 John Beckett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

One of the homework assignments in the Navigating Tower Time class was to “tell your own story of weirdness.” Most of us have one: a prophetic dream, the overwhelming presence of a God, an occurrence that defies “rational” explanation. We rarely talk about them, because we’re afraid of other people’s reactions: they’ll think we’re crazy, or delusional, or flat out lying about it.

I encourage everyone – but especially participants in this class – to tell their stories. Telling a story keeps it alive. It reminds us that yes, that really did happen, no matter what the skeptics say. But more than that, hearing other people’s stories reminds us that we’re not alone. These things happen to most people. Not all, but most.

The responses I got from the participants were amazing. The individual stories are not mine to share, but I am betraying no confidences by telling you I read about encounters with ghosts, ancestors, and Gods; about synchronicities that are so unlikely they’re impossible to dismiss; and about magical workings that manifested amazing results.

But I also got some more tentative responses. “I’m not sure this is what you’re talking about.” “I’m not sure this counts.” “I’ve never really had any weird experiences”… which would be fine – most of us have these stories, but not everyone. Except that statement was followed by descriptions of some very spiritual, very non-ordinary experiences.

I was intentionally vague with my instructions – I didn’t want to restrict people to talking only about certain kinds of experiences. In retrospect, my instructions may have been too vague. And perhaps, calling it “weirdness” contributed to unrealistic expectations.

But I think there’s more to it than that.

When we talk about spiritual experiences, religious experiences, magical experiences – anything that falls into that general category – most of us don’t know what to expect.

It’s easy to say “well, everybody’s experiences are different.” Except they’re not. The details are of course unique to one person (or sometimes, to one group) and to one time, but spiritual experiences usually have common structures and elements. That’s one of the ways we can spot people who aren’t telling the truth. The problem is that most of us don’t know what those common structures and elements are, so we don’t know what to expect.

And our mainstream society has set some very unhelpful expectations.

It’s hard to communicate this in writing. My editor had to push me to include a section on ecstatic practice in Paganism In Depth. I learned this by doing it, with others who were there to help me along, affirm my experiences, tell me what they saw and heard, and help me figure out what the whole thing meant.

But if something mystical happens and you’re by yourself, it’s just as real as if it happens in a circle with your coven or grove.

Setting expectations

So I want to talk about setting expectations for our spiritual experiences.

For the purposes of this post, whether I call it a spiritual experience, a religious experience, a magical experience, or a mystical experience, I’m talking about the same thing: something happens that defies ordinary explanation and has a meaningful impact on our lives. There are differences between, say, magic and religion, but there’s enough overlap in the way these experiences happen that we can group them together when talking about setting expectations.

Pop culture sets unrealistic expectations

Let’s start here. TV, movies, fiction, video games – they all present spiritual experiences in a way that simply doesn’t happen.

Now, I like magical fiction, even though I know it’s not real. I occasionally find it inspiring. But if you’re a beginner it may be the only reference point you have. Some of us grew up in a religion that, although very different, still affirmed the direct experience of the Divine. Unfortunately, those traditions tend to be politically conservative and religiously repressive. So we look elsewhere for our examples, and fiction is the only other option many of us have.

All we can do is to be aware of this, and when our minds start to go in that direction, remind ourselves that this is fiction. Reality is far less dramatic… and occasionally, far more meaningful.

Skeptics make it worse

If you come to the conclusion that there is only the material world and that Gods and spirits don’t exist, so be it. I’ll be happy to work with you to make this world a better place. You’re not the problem here.

The problem is the aggressive atheists and materialists who insist that not only are there no Gods, spirits, magic, or anything of the sort, those persons and things couldn’t possibly exist and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional.

Even when we reject this line of thinking, we’re still left with the idea that in order for something to be real, we have to have “proof.” And only certain kinds of proof are acceptable – the kinds that affirm there is only matter and the interactions of matter, and nothing else is possible.

And so we start to rationalize our experiences away. We look for “reasonable” explanations, even when the most reasonable explanation is that we just encountered a spirit. We tell ourselves it didn’t happen, it’s all in our heads – anything to avoid coming to conclusion that we live in a magical world.

The need to establish good foundational assumptions

We will only see what our foundational assumptions tell us is possible. These are the ideas about how the world works that most of us don’t even realize are assumptions. They’re just “the way things are,” “common sense,” or “what everybody knows.”

Last year I led a 7-week course on Building a New Myth, subtitled “Scientific, Animist, and Polytheist Foundations For the Future.” It’s my least popular class, but in many ways I think it’s the most important, because helps people learn that just because we affirm the findings of science we don’t ignore our experiences that fall outside the boundaries of the scientific method.

Many of us have unhelpful expectations for our spiritual experiences because we assume that if it can’t be explained by contemporary science then it can’t be real. This expectation is itself unrealistic and decidedly unhelpful.

Big spiritual experiences are infrequent

In the Tower Time homework, I heard stories from people’s childhoods. I heard stories that took place decades ago, or years ago. I heard a couple stories that happened a few days ago, but they were a distinct minority.

People where telling “old” stories because they were important enough that they remembered them after so many years, but also because nothing “bigger” had happened since. Big, dramatic, life-changing spiritual experiences don’t happen often.

If we expect them to come on a regular basis – or worse, whenever we want them – we will be disappointed.

Most spiritual experiences are subtle

For all of my work with and for the Morrigan, I’ve never experienced Her standing bodily in front of me. I doubt I ever will. Her presence – and the presence of the other Gods – is far more subtle.

It’s not an audible voice (most of the time, anyway) – it’s a voice in your head, except it’s not in your head. It’s not something you see with your physical eyes – it’s something you see with your inner eyes. Sometimes you can feel it on your skin, but when you try to grasp it with your fingers it slips through them.

The vast majority of spiritual experiences are subtle. That means they’re easy to miss if you’re not paying attention, and easy to dismiss if you’re looking for something out of an urban fantasy novel.

This is why meditation is such an important spiritual practice. It trains us to recognize subtle spiritual signals.

For a few people, it’s not subtle

For some people, encounters with the Gods are a frequent thing. In some cases, they’re a continuous “I can’t shut it off” thing.

These people exist in every religion. They’re the mystics and the shamans (the real shamans, not people who took a class from Michael Harner). They have complicated, difficult lives. They are often celebrated for the wisdom and inspiration they communicate, and then ignored or attacked when they communicate something inconvenient.

You probably don’t want to be one of these people. If you think you do, be careful what you wish for.

In any case, they are real but rare, and their experiences are not normative for the rest of us.

Focus on the message, not the medium

I believe the Gods are real. I believe They are individual persons, who if not omnipotent are powerful enough to do pretty much whatever They want. If They wanted to appear bodily amongst us They could choose to do so.

That They do not tells us something important.

I think that “something important” is that They want us to focus on the message and not the medium.

If the Morrigan tells me to get ready to clean up after a massive spiritual disruption, what’s most important is that I get ready. Whether I hear that from Her face to face, from that familiar voice behind my head, or from reading an omen in Nature is a secondary concern.

The proof is in the living

At the end of the day, this is all the proof I need. My life is significantly better since I started following this religious and spiritual path. It’s not perfect, but it’s tangibly better. And more importantly, it’s more meaningful. I’ve found my place – it’s with my Gods, my ancestors, and my community.

I’m thankful for the stories of otherworldly experiences shared by participants in the Tower Time class and by others. When we tell our stories we give other people context for their own experiences, and that’s a very good thing. And that helps us set realistic expectations for what we see and hear and do in our own spiritual lives.

Foundations and Context

religious experiences

spiritual experiences

Tower Time

Previous Post

February 17, 2021

Rush Limbaugh is Dead and My Memory Isn’t Very Good

Next Post

February 23, 2021 Interpreting Dreams, and Why I (Probably) Can’t Do It For You

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Books Community CUUPS Druidry Foundations and Context Gods and Goddesses Magic Myth Nature Ritual Spiritual Practice Theology Travel Uncategorized Videos

Select a Month November 2026 October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

James Paul Peter Jesus