Beyond the Clouds

Last updated on: May 2, 2012 at 5:27 am by Scot McKnight

Beyond the Clouds 2012-05-02T05:27:22-05:00 Scot McKnight

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I joke with my friends from Seattle that I have heard there are mountains in the area but yet to see them, but truth be told: I have seen the mountains and Mt Ranier. Tim and Kathy Keller, in their book The Meaning of Marriage, use this image of clouds sometimes lifting so we can see the mountain, and this image is used to describe the mission of the marriage. (More below.)

Their question is a good one: Why marriage? What is marriage’s purpose? What do you think the purpose of marriage is?

I’m not sure we often ask this question, and I have a sense that our gut instinct is both close to right but not accurate enough. The Kellers contend the purpose of marriage is friendship. I suspect many would say “someone to love, to be loved” or “companionship” or “build a family” and I suspect many would be boggled and wonder if they had ever considered such a question.

As Genesis 1–2 make clear, Adam was lonely and God gave to Adam a woman named Eve to be his ezer, or helper-companion. God, by the way, is an ezer to Israel. As God is a Trinity of social relationality, so humans — we are Eikons of God as male and female and not just as male or female — are social beings in need of relationships of love and trust.

Keller explores what friendship is [I would like to have seen him dip into the great literature on friendship more, beginning with Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics and Cicero’s de Amicitia.] and sees four characteristics:

1. Constancy
2. Transparency
3. Sympathy in common interests
4. Common vision and passion [the “eschatology” of friendship, as it were]

But it is on #4 that the Kellers camp. Christians have a common gospel life and they long for the same future, the new creation. This means in Christians friendship there is a spiritual constancy, transparency and sympathy that glues all of the friendship toward the new creation of being made Christlike.

Marriage is friendship and Christian marriage is Christian friendship at the highest level. Christians are to make their spouse their best friend. They see two major “pseudo-spouses”: parents who entangle themselves too much in a marriage and children who occupy the whole of the family life.

The mission of marriage is to help the other become all that God made them to be. This isn’t hierarchical (so far as I see in this chp), this isn’t mentoring, this isn’t scolding … this is companioned discipleship as both walk toward the kingdom of God. Marriage, they say, “is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us” (120). I haven’t read anyone who quotes CS Lewis any more than Keller, and this “glory-selves” evokes Lewis’ famous statement in The Weight of Glory.

Now the mountain: right now we are in the clouds. That is, we see a cloudy self in the other and we are cloudy ourselves, but every now and then the clouds lift and we see in the one we love what that person will become, full of glory and grace and truth. We see the mountain she or he will become and then the clouds return and we live in light of what our spouse will become.

One caution: this whole idea of seeing what that person will become can lead some people to think it is their marital duty to chip away at the person, or it can lead some to marry someone for who they can make that person into instead of who that person is right now. The Kellers don’t address this issue but it is something we need to be cautious about: knowing the mission and what will become can drive us forward, as long as we are in this together, hand in hand, loving the person as they are right now (knowing God is at work to make them who they will be).

Love and Marriage

Previous Post

May 2, 2012

Catholic Spirituality is Family Spirituality

Next Post

May 2, 2012 That Slippery Slope Again

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Acts of the Apostles Adam Advent Anabaptism Angels Anglican Apologetics Atonement Baptism BCP Prayers Bible Biblical Studies Birds Blogging Bloglossary Bonhoeffer Books Calvinism Christianity Church Church History Coffee Colossians Commentary Recs Conversion Creation Creeds Culture Death Ecclesiastes Economics Education Embracing Grace Emergent Emerging Movement Eschatology Essays Ethics Eucharist Evangelicalism Family Fasting Fathers Fellowship of Differents Footsteps Tour Fun and Whimsical Gospel Grace Happiness Heaven Hell Holy Spirit Irenaeus James Jesus Jesus Creed Job Justification Kingdom of God Law Lectures Lent Liberalism Love and Marriage Mabanteneni Manhood Mary Miracles Missio Alliance MissioLife Missional Missional Jesus Movies and Film New Perspective Northern Seminary OneLife Origins Project Orthodox Parables Pastor's Spouse Pastoring and Leading Pastoring and Preaching Patristics Paul Paul-John Tour Pharisees Pietism Political Theology Prayer and Formation Preaching Problems for Faith Psalm 119 Psalms Public Issues Purgatory Religions Resurrection Revelation Romans Rule of JCreed Science and Faith Sermon on the Mount Sports Ten Commandments Theology Third Way Top Ten Lists Translations Uncategorized Universalism University Ministry Way Out Weekly Meanderings Wisdom Women and Ministry Work Worship Writing & Blogging Youth Ministry

Select a Month July 2021 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 0000

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was David's great-grandmother?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Bathsheba Tamar Ruth Rahab