Should Teachers Befriend Students? 1 (Sam Lamerson)

Last updated on: January 19, 2011 at 2:22 pm by Scot McKnight

Should Teachers Befriend Students? 1 (Sam Lamerson) 2011-01-19T14:22:58-06:00 Scot McKnight

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This series is by friend (and former student), Sam Lamerson, who is now a well-read professor at Knox Theological Seminary in Florida:

SHOULD A PROFESSOR BE FRIENDS WITH STUDENTS?

Scot was my dissertation mentor at TEDS ten or so years ago. After I had finished I was constantly asking him for teaching advice and he, like a true mentor, was always willing to answer my questions, go to lunch with me when I was in town, and answer many more emails than basic kindness required. I always took his advice very, very seriously. One of the pieces of wisdom that he imparted to me was that I should read at least one or two books on the craft of teaching every year. I have done so since I received that advice and have been greatly blessed by it.

Just a week or so ago I read a wonderful book; Patrick Allitt’s I’m the Teacher, You’re the Student: A Semester in the University Classroom. Allitt is professor of History at Emory University where he holds the Arthur Blank Chair for Teaching Excellence. The book is fascinating in that he basically journals about one entry level (freshman) history class throughout the semester and lets the reader in on both the joys and the difficulties of teaching.

So the question for today is for professors as well as students. Should the professor be friends with his students? I realize here that we could argue about the definition of friendship, quote Aristotle, and have endless debates about what it means to be a friend. I believe, however, that we all know intuitively what it means to be a casual friend with someone. Is that the relationship that professors and students should strive for or should the professor simply be “friendly” without entering into any real relationships with her students? Now more: Who was your favorite professor and why? Did you feel like you were friends with this teacher? Did this friendship or lack of it lead to your high assessment of the professor’s skills?
Allitt starts off the book in the preface with an overview of his teaching philosophy. While much of Allitt’s advice is worth its weight in gold, the one piece of advice that struck me as somewhat problematic was his statement about being friends. He believes that it is a mistake for the professor to become friends with the student. After admitting that being friends with students is a constant temptation, Allitt states that he must “resist it lest it compromise [his] judgment and impartiality. Professors and students must not be friends (friends don’t give each other grades that have a vital effect on their futures).”

In my own work as a professor I have tried to emulate those teachers whom I respect and have been greatly blessed by. Scot, for example, was during our student/teacher relationship and has continued to be a great friend to me. His advice, sharing of his teaching notes, and genuine caring about how I was doing has been a wonderful model for my own classroom relationships.

I must admit however, that there is something in me that resonates with Allitt’s advice. I do find it hard to give a poor grade to a student whose work is sub-par, but who is Godly, kind, and gracious. What about that student who works harder than anyone else, but is not the brightest person in the class? Should the fact that he or she has worked harder than anyone else be taken into account or is grading just a compilation of numbers?

In Allitt’s defense he does maintain that his British undergraduate education may be partly what is driving his view, as well as making clear that as students move from undergraduate school (where he teaches) to graduate school the distance between a professor and a student should decrease. This is because the professor is attempting to model for the student what the future scholar will become. Since I teach in a seminary, I feel that I need to model what a gracious pastor would be. There are times when I weep with the students and times when I make clear to them that they are not doing what they should. I try to make all of those conversations end in a gracious manner with the student feeling lifted up rather than beat down.

On the next few Thursdays I will be blogging a little more about Allitt’s book. There are wonderful nuggets both for the professor and for the student who may be wondering why the professor does what he or she does.

I’ll be back next Thursday to speak about Allitt’s view of the use of technology in the classroom. Does power-point distract or help? What other kinds of technology are available for use in the classroom and how should it be used? For now, I look forward to hearing from you as to your own views of friendship in the classroom.

Education

Sam Lamerson

Teaching

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