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Retreat Like Jesus

Retreat Like Jesus

Last updated on: February 21, 2017 at 9:14 am by Kerry Connelly

Retreat Like Jesus 2017-02-21T09:14:47-04:00 Kerry Connelly

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One of the things I’ve noticed about Jesus — aside from the fact that he really liked to eat probably way more than his daily Weight Watchers point allowance — is that he often was desperate for alone time.

He gets me. He really, really gets me.

I wake up every morning at 5:30 am for one solitary reason: to be solitary. I’m an introvert in an extrovert’s body. I love making real connections with interesting people, but small talk doesn’t just bore me to tears — I’m pretty sure little pieces of my soul wither up and die every time I’m forced to talk about the weather. I find it absolutely exhausting.

My days consist of lots of voices talking at me and by the time my day is done, words that people say to me actually feel like tiny little darts flung at my brain. It seriously starts hurting my soul. I long for quiet alone time to spend with God.

The fact that Jesus often wanted to retreat to quiet places, to get away from the crowd, makes me feel a little better about my anti-social temperament. Especially these days, when social media, every damn news cast, and even your own friends and family members hold the potential to be a proverbial land mine of emotional triggers and strife.

I wonder — with the weight of the world on his shoulders (literally. Okay, well, not literally, exactly, but, you know, he had way more responsibility than any of us could ever really imagine) — what were the stress thoughts Jesus had? Did his mind replay the way his friends mocked him? Did he nurture those hurts the way I can or did he instantly forgive? Doesn’t forgiveness mean a hurt had to occur first? What did he do with all that righteous anger? And the worry — the way he loved this world, and the way he cried over Jerusalem. I wonder — did we keep him up at night, with all our disbelief, our hatred, our lack of love and understanding? Did he worry over us like a parent waiting for their teenager to come home at night?

As I thought about the way Jesus retreated, and what must have been on his mind, I realize that self-care is a good and holy thing. If I am going to participate in any kind of ministry, even if it is just this solitary ministry behind my computer, I must care for my soul. The coach in me says I must share these self care tips with you, so here’s a list of some of the ways I do that.

(Quick note: Bubble baths should be a given, even though even I have a hard time picturing Jesus partaking. But hey, you never know. Also obvious: prayer and reading the Bible. But I don’t really need to tell you that, do I?)

5 Ways to Retreat Like Jesus

Get Mindlessly Creative

I think God had a blast creating the universe. And I think much of it belies great thought and planning, but some of it
— clouds, for instance — demonstrate a more whimsical nature. I want to say thoughtless, but that implies it was not cared about, and I don’t think that’s true. Perhaps playful is a better way to describe it. And nothing gets my playful side out better than a good old fashioned coloring book and some fancy colored pencils.

A friend recently sent me Coloring Lent, a gorgeous adult coloring book that combines beautiful Lenten themed pictures with evocative meditations based on the resurrection story. When I need to just breathe for a few moments, or when I’m pondering a dilemma or need to calm down, I find a few minutes to grab my pencils and this book, and I get lost in the contemplative act of filling in lines. It’s soothing, like the best of childhood memories, and I always come away from my time with this book refreshed. (You can get a copy here.)*

Go On A Retreat

I can’t think of any better way to care for my soul than to retreat to the Canadian wilderness (please remember: I am from New Jersey. “Wilderness” is relative. But still, Canada.) with a bunch of like-minded folk like the amazing Ideltte McVicker of SheLoves Magazine. I leave on Thursday, and we’ll be talking social justice, peacemaking, and how to be a dangerous woman for Christ.

I confess, my introverted self is a little nervous. All those people. All those CHRISTIANS! (Did I tell you Christians make me really nervous? Will there be forced prayer? I hate forced prayer.). But sometimes, when God whispers into your soul, “Hey, I want you to do this because it will be good for you,” you don’t listen. So then God drops a frying pan on your head and you go, “Oh. Did you want me to actually go to that?” and you get the point, you get your ass a plane ticket and figure out how to pack a sleeping bag into your suitcase.

This is the kind of gathering that nourishes the soul — and they promised I can go for a walk in the woods. Alone. That’s why I’ll be at Rise Up, Sister, 2017, later this week*.*

Move It, Move It

I am a kick boxer (sorry, Anabaptists). I absolutely love that I can kick butt. And I can kick butt. I am a bad ass, and this makes me giggle with glee. Even better, though, is the sweat. I sweat until I stink and it’s wonderful. I punch things and kick things and do horrible, evil work outs where my body does things my brain says it should not be able to do. In the winter, when I get into the car after class, the windows instantly steam up from my body heat.

There are very few things I am good at in this world, and this is one of them, so let me have it, will you? (And for the record, “good” is relative. Good is to me as a kick boxer as New Jersey is to Wilderness. But still.)

Let’s be clear: I dread class. In fact, I should leave for class right now, and writing this is an excellent tactical delay. But I dread it so very much. After class, though, is a different story. After class I feel a sweet release of all the pent up emotion I’ve been so mature about all day. You know, the darts and the wanting to scream at people to be quiet. After class I feel confident and spent, and when I get home, I sleep.

Now, I’m not saying Jesus was a kick boxer (calm down, Anabaptists!), but I do imagine carpentry was pretty hard work. I think from his life working with wood and hammers, Jesus would have understood a little bit about the satisfaction of physical exertion, the gratification of a job well done, and the sweet reward of a shower.

Eating God’s Food

I’m not a health coach, but I do coach my clients to eat healthy, whole food. God’s food. I’ve done my share of studying the way food impacts the body in my own health journey, and what I find utterly amazing is that God has provided everything our body needs in nature. There is no reason for us to eat processed junk when our Creator has gone to such lengths to develop a delicious and nutritious bounty, all for us.

Like putting premium fuel in your car as opposed to plain old regular, eating well just makes me perform better. It’s true that when I’m stressed, I crave Twizzlers (because all that chewing) but that sugar and those chemicals and that crazy red dye does absolutely nothing for my body or my brain. In fact, I’ve noticed that crappy foods increase my anxiety and can lead to a full on panic attack, while eating healthfully makes me focused, alert, and calm.

Technically it all has to do with neurotransmitters and inflammation, but I’ll let you Google that for yourself (and I hope you do — it’s good information to know, and you’ll never want to drink another Diet Coke again, no matter how addicted you are). All I’m saying is that a few strawberries and some spinach can do you a world of good, especially during stressful times like these.

Take Time To PAUSE

Since late last year, I’ve engaged in the practice of PAUSE — stopping a few times a day to reconnect with God. It’s not about Bible study (although my beloved Bible is definitely involved) and it’s not about discipline (who needs one more thing to suck at?). PAUSE is about checking in with someone you love. It’s a text message to God, a quick Hey, how’s it going? It’s a way to re-center yourself after all those darts and the wanting to scream and the stress.

I got so excited about what the PAUSE lifestyle did for me, that I started a website (surprise! It’s called PauseLifestyle.com) and I was shocked at how many people responded to it right away. I realized I’m not the only one who really needs to chill out for a hot second. The website needs an update, I’ve be lax lately. Because stress (aging parents, a bully at my kids school, etc.) but I’m getting back to it. Stop by, leave me a note, and I promise to update the site soon! Not only that, but I’ll have some super exciting news to share there, soon, too.

*Sometimes, people send me stuff for free and ask me to talk about it on my blog. If I like it, I do. This is one of those times.

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