Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
“Fear” and “Scared” Make Lousy Rhetorical Weapons

“Fear” and “Scared” Make Lousy Rhetorical Weapons

Last updated on: May 21, 2022 at 3:43 pm by Jennifer Fitz

“Fear” and “Scared” Make Lousy Rhetorical Weapons 2022-05-21T15:43:59-05:00 Jennifer Fitz

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

There’s this guy I love, who shall therefore remain nameless, who’s spent a large portion of the COVID pandemic dropping little comments about people who are “afraid” of infection. In fairness, he errs on the fearless side in life, so I guess people who are bothered by potentially-deadly situations do seem odd to him. He probably doesn’t wear a helmet when he rides his bike, either, for all I know.

Still. It irks me.

It irks me because I’m one of the people who gets painted as paranoid by the Unthinking Jerkmouth Class, and my ego would prefer affirmation, thanks.

***

I’ll go ahead and explain my situation for those who’ve lost track: As of this morning I’m on Acute Viral Illness Number Eight in the past six months.

None of those eight rounds have resulted in serious illness. What I get is a usual, often comparatively mild, version of whatever the hot trending virus is, followed by an inordinately long and crushing bout of fatigue. So far, since Thanksgiving I’ve lost about ten weeks of productive time down the black hole of post-viral fatigue. That’s a lot of lost time. It’s a miracle I fold laundry ever at all.

So. Dealing with a situation like that, of course I’m doing all the things to be as healthy as possible (which is not made any easier by losing ten weeks to crushing post-viral fatigue); it also seems to help quite a bit if I act like an intermittently-paranoid person. The more precautions I take to reduce viral load, the shorter the duration of a given round seems to be.

That’s anecdotal evidence, so don’t take it as anything other, but as long as it seems to be working? It’s worth trying.

***

What to do in a situation like mine is very much the realm of weighing risks and benefits. There is no course of action, anywhere on the spectrum from devil-may-care to hermetically-sealed-bubble, that will avoid downsides. It’s a fallen world. We make difficult decisions about what risks we prefer, but avoiding risk altogether isn’t on the menu.

***

So. I live dangerously in order to do things like be in the presence of my own children while also allowing those children to have a normal teenage social life. I experiment with crazy stuff like silicone-sealing N95s in order to try to get out every now and then and do something that’s totally just pure fun but would be a total disaster if I weren’t aggressive on the precautions (and I’ve given up six weeks of my life to learning that the hard way).

It’s a strategy that my family is on board with and which seems to upset all kinds of bystanders who swear they care about me but don’t actually seem to care about me. Okay?

Well, those bystanders want me to have magic. They want me to either magically just not get sick (sign me up, please) or to magically discover a vocation as a hermit. I do live mostly like a hermit? But it’s not my vocation at this time.

The people who want me to prioritize physical health above all else — even at the expense of family life and parenting my own children — mean well. They have different priorities, and I’m fine with them ordering their lives however they feel called. I do sometimes suspect the people who want the “be fearless” “quit worrying about getting sick again” magic out of me are probably just jealous that they didn’t make the cut of people I’m willing to get sick from. Probably stings. I’m less sympathetic, however.

(Um: Some of you who haven’t seen me in forever did make the cut, it’s just that it’s really difficult finding time to get sick from everyone I love, there’s a waitlist.)

***

So. That’s what I have to say to the “fear” people. You go around accusing others of being “afraid” when really those others are just doing their best to make prudential decisions, just like you do. Maybe they are erring on the side of too-cautious. Maybe they have a different life from yours, and therefore they need to avoid risks that you are able to accept. Either way? Your insults don’t help.

Now for the “scared” people.

***

When I say the “scared” people, and you know the type, I don’t mean people who have grimly assessed a real danger and undertaken to mitigate that threat. Rather, they are people who use “I’m scared” as a rhetorical weapon, an excuse for not bothering to legitimately engage their opponents in a reasoned discussion of whatever the topic at hand might be.

***

I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge legitimate fear. I am saying that “I am scared” is not a reason. It proves nothing, other than you have an emotion.

Okay, I have emotions too. What are the specific, objective outcomes that you fear?

How likely are those outcomes? What steps would mitigate the situation? What would be the side effects of taking such steps? What are the reasons your opponents object to your proposal? Are there any alternative solutions that would allow us to reduce the likelihood of your fears coming to pass, and which your opponents would be more likely to accept?

***

So that’s it. In conclusion: Don’t take my debate class if you’re married to one of those rhetorical tics. Sorry. They stink and you need to stop using them now, and then your life will be much better. Amen.

Artwork: I felt like a good picture of geese was what I wanted for this post, no reason, insert your own metaphor. During the search I came across this poster, circa 1900 of a Barnum & Baily Circus promotion for “Wonderful Performing Geese, Roosters, and Musical Donkey.” It’s ripe with all kinds of metaphors I’m not actually implying, but I mean, sure, go ahead. Also: Who are these audiences which are more likely to attend an event promising a “Musical Donkey”? Presumably in an era when most people knew what donkeys sound like, even. Amazing. Via Wikimedia, public domain.

Disability & Chronic Illness

Previous Post

May 19, 2022

Legalized Suicide is a Trap

Next Post

May 28, 2022 What is "Scandal"?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Books Catechesis Catholic Q&A Chastity Church Craziness Come See Me Talk Disability & Chronic Illness Economics Evangelization Facepalm Forgiveness Good Things History Homeschooling Human Rights It's All Catholic Listen to Me Survey Series Liturgical Living Marriage Modesty Not Satire. But almost. Rant-o-Rama Sacred Art & Music Satire South Carolina Spark Clutter Stick that Corner Suffering Thinking Topics Writing Stuff

Select a Month September 2026 July 2026 June 2026 January 2026 December 2025 September 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 November 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 May 2019 April 2019 February 2019 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am a small member of the body, yet I boast great things. I am a fire, a world of iniquity. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The eye The hand The tongue The heart