Top Ten Pope Quotes From the Private Obama Meeting #satire

Last updated on: September 23, 2015 at 11:03 am by Jennifer Fitz

Top Ten Pope Quotes From the Private Obama Meeting #satire 2015-09-23T11:03:32-05:00 Jennifer Fitz

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What were the Holy Father and President Obama talking about that kept them so long? Excerpts from the long conversation . . .

“I thought Americans like you come early. You say no? Okay, we sit here a while.”

“I brought a game to pass the time. I show you a picture of an innocent human being, and you tell me if it’s okay to kill that one.”

“No, no, let’s the play the game again. The answer to all of the questions is, ‘No.’ Let’s try it again.”

“Can I get a, how do you say, little something for the throat? I did not think the game would take so long. The answer is ‘No’ each time, Mr. President. We try again.”

“Okay, maybe this game is too hard for you. We talk about something else. Look at the bishops tweeting from St. Matthew’s. You sure I’m supposed to keep them waiting? Maybe I just circle outside a few times instead of sitting here?”

“What was that? You said ‘Religious Freedom’ again? You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

“So I brought this book to pass the time. It’s about how babies are made. Maybe I teach you how it works?”

“No, no. See, it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. Let’s go through the pictures again.”

“No no no. See that is a picture of two men. One could be the father and the other could be the uncle, or the friend, or the cousin, but they can’t both be the father. We start the book over.”

“Okay, listen. I leave you the book and the game, and you practice. You come visit me when you get all your homework done, yes? Everyone blames me if the bishops post silly photos on Twitter. I have to go settle them down now.”

Don’t worry. I go over it with you again next time I see you.

Photo: Official White House Photo by Pete Souza [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons (From the last time they had this talk.)

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