The Church: The Escape (Part11of15)

Last updated on: December 14, 2015 at 11:47 pm by Jeff Hood

The Church: The Escape (Part11of15) 2015-12-14T23:47:26-06:00 Jeff Hood

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*Though this is definitely outside of what I normally write, I’ve decided to publish a novella entitled “The Church.” From Nov. 30 to Dec. 15, I will be publishing the work of fiction in 15 parts. Each day, I will publish a part of the story of Christian and his quest to plant the largest progressive church in the world. I will publish the entire work at the end. Today, I’m publishing part 11 entitled “The Escape” Enjoy!

Day and night, we made love over and over. I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to be wherever she was. We were so in love. Though I wanted to marry her, I knew I couldn’t right now. Rev. Dr. Angela Utopia was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. We kept it secret. I knew what the consequences were if anyone were to find out. The Cathedral of the Swinging Dicks was in a tailspin. I tried to stay out of it. I wanted Angela to have the opportunity to prove that she could do it. While I tried to help behind the scenes, nothing seemed to work. The Cathedral of the Swinging Dicks became the epicenter of racism and transphobia. Throughout the period, I preached that a better way was possible. No one listened. Late one night, I told Angela that I thought our time at the Cathedral was quickly coming to an end. I don’t think she believed me. I think she saw them for what they might be. I saw them for what they were. In the middle of her last sermon, we found out that it was worse than we ever could have imagined.

“Love God. Love your neighbor. That’s the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Our services were broadcast live on local television. Whoever tuned in that Sunday, got much more than they bargained for. I don’t know what it was about that line that set The Cathedral of the Swinging Dicks off, but things got wild quickly. I guess love has a way of revealing the unbridled hate. I was sitting right behind Angela when it happened. In the middle of the sanctuary a man screamed, “Shut the fuck up you fake ass bitch!” Then, someone stood and yelled, “We don’t want all that nigger preaching in here!” From the other side of me, I heard, “Get that sack of shit off the stage!” Though I knew tensions were boiling, I had no idea this was even a possibility. I thought that building the Cathedral with white gay men would make it inevitably progressive. I was wrong. In the midst of the chaos, I froze. Before I could collect myself, I realized that a group of ten white men carried Angela out the door. These folks literally ejected her from the church. “Where in the hell are the security guards?” I had no answers. Honestly, I was worried that the crowd that grabbed Angela was going to do something worse. Unsure of what to do next, I oscillated between running after Angela or jumping on the microphone to try to calm everyone down. Deciding to split the difference, I grabbed one of the live mics and ran after Angela. When I finally reached her, I pulled the men off of her. I have never seen such ravenousness. Angela looked up at me and said, “I’m ready to get out of here.” I knew exactly what she meant. From the doorway of the Cathedral, I declared to the congregation, “Rev. Dr. Angela Utopia and I got engaged last night. I love her with all my heart. Due to your racism and transphobia, we will no longer be part of your lives. We are both resigning our positions at the Cathedral of the Swinging Dicks. Though I’ve loved you for many years, your actions today have given me reason to leave you with two words…fuck you.” The congregation didn’t know what hit them. We quickly made our escape. Kissing passionately in the car, Angela and I drove off to make a new life. The road never looked so promising to me before.

Rev. Dr. Angela Utopia

The Cathedral of the Swinging Dicks

The Escape

the road

transphobia

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The Church: The Entrance (Part10of15)

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