3 Reasons To Date Your Spouse

Last updated on: October 3, 2015 at 4:37 pm by Jefferson Bethke

3 Reasons To Date Your Spouse 2015-10-03T16:37:07-10:00 Jefferson Bethke

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One of the things that bums me out the most is when I see married couples not putting time and energy into their relationship (my marriage included!). If you are married, it’s the very center and foundation of your life, and so it should get not just as much but even more attention than your job, the kids, and definitely your hobbies. But I think a lot of times it comes from thinking that the concept of “dating” is over once you get married. When in reality, we should be dating our spouses, even more so after marriage. One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever got was that you are either growing closer together or drifting apart, there is no neutral. So the times I feel like Alyssa and I are in neutral or cruise control, we probably aren’t as close as we can be. So let’s start dating our spouse. Why?

1) IT GROWS YOU CLOSER TOGETHER

For Alyssa and me, I think some of our best conversations (or as Alyssa calls them “heart to hearts”) happen when we are on some type of intentional date. When you are intentional with your time as a couple it naturally leads to intentional conversation about dreams, hopes, and how each other is doing. For Alyssa and me it’s where all the hustle and bustle of life (kids, diapers, dishes, etc) slows down and we can look each other in the eye and check in and grow as a couple.

2) IT’S FUN

A lot of married couples I know look back on their dating years with an attitude of “the good ol’ days.” They see their dating years as the times where they had fun, took risks, and made a ton of memories. Dating is fun! And so why would we stop it when we get married? Sure it takes planning, and time, and energy but you’ll make moments and memories and you’ll never regret it. PS if you want fun date night ideas skip to the bottom. Alyssa and I just found something that’s going to make date night a whole lot easier and spontaneous for us.

3) IT TELLS THE GREATEST STORY EVER

I know this one seems a little more out of left field but marriage ultimately is a shadow. It’s a rhythm and dance setup by God from the beginning to not be about us, but to tell us about something greater and bigger. It’s a dance we step into to tell a story, about the cosmos, and heaven and earth, and ultimately the marriage of the Creator to His creation–us. When we date well we tell a good story. That saying the vows isn’t the end but the beginning. That getting married isn’t boring but an eternal adventure. That intimacy takes work, but it’s so worth it. So when we date well we are better reflecting our Creator and the story He’s trying to tell through us.

So date your spouse. Put as much energy into it as anything else. And yes date night will sometimes mean sitting on the couch after the kids go to bed and watching 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls (ok maybe that’s just mine and Alyssa’s thing) and sometimes it means getting a babysitter and making it special. Whatever it is, just put time and energy into it, and ultimately remember it’s about closeness and oneness.

And by the way, if you’re having trouble thinking of date nights, or you can’t leave the house checkout something Alyssa and I just signed up for called Datebox. It’s a monthly subscription service that sends a datebox every month to your doorstep. If you use the coupon code ‘bethke’ you’ll get the first box entirely free. I heard the first month is is a chef instructed video plus fresh ingredients for you to make dinner together. Then there’s dessert, a game to play together, and then stationary and postage to write each other letters that you send them and they’ll mail back to you on Valentine’s Day. So it’s an understatement to say Alyssa and I are STOKED. And mise well use the coupon code to try the first month and free and see what you think!

Click below and use promo code ‘bethke’ to get your first box entirely free!

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