Sailing, memory, and “sorry, honey”

Last updated on: June 20, 2018 at 11:25 am by Jane the Actuary

Sailing, memory, and “sorry, honey” 2018-06-20T11:25:14-06:00 Jane the Actuary

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Longtime readers will know that we are a sailing family. We have a 25′ Catalina mariana-ed in Kenosha, the kids have all participated in sailing camp in the summers and my youngest is headed there next week, and my middle son will be doing some small-boat sailing instruction at Boy Scout camp where he’s a counselor this summer.

Longtime readers will also know that I grew up sailing. Other families went “up north” on summer weekends; we went to the boat, a 27′ sailboat that Dad and his friends built as a project back when my older sister was a baby (it was a group of 10 or so and they build one boat for each), and which Dad was constantly improving, or fixing anyway, replacing the tiller with a steering wheel, upgrading the electronics, and the like. For much of my childhood, my parents were members of a small boat club with a clubhouse where everyone gathered for dinner on weekend evenings, and where my siblings and I played Spoons and I Doubt It or watched TV on the old black and white TV with whatever kids happened to be around. It was anchored in Anchor Bay at Lake St. Clair, the unofficial “sixth Great Lake” just north of the Detroit River, and for several years Dad (and whichever kids wanted to come along, and, some years, my uncle) sailed the boat to Put-in-Bay, where Mom and the rest of us would meet up for a summer vacation.

That boat is now long gone, sold when Dad could no longer physically manage the work of maintaining it or even just sailing it. But I have pleasant memories of lazy summer afternoons, reading a book or dozing off or dangling our feet in the water and hoping to get splashed when the boat was heeling just right and a power boat left a strong wake.

Sailing as an adult has been, well, less relaxing, since many of the early years we had a division of labor in which I kept the kids from fussing or falling overboard while my husband did the actual sailing. The older the kids got, the more relaxed the sailing got, as far as the childcare work goes, and now the kids are much more able to actively participate in the sailing, casting off, and so on, though my husband still puts up and takes down the sails. But what really stinks is that the older I get, the more susceptible I get to motion sickness, and, what’s worse, the “non-drowsy” version of motion sickness pills have, for the last couple years, been putting me to sleep. (I’ve been wanting to try either taking one the night before, and seeing if the sleep-inducing effects wear off before the motion sickness protection does, or seeing if I can try a combo of anti-motion sickness pills plus a big dose of caffeine.) So I try the various alternative remedies — ginger capsules, or an essential oil type thing, or the Sea Bands — which sometimes seem to work (or maybe it’s just that the water wasn’t as rough on any given day) and sometimes don’t, and I curse the fact that I used to be pretty much immune to motion sickness but now am very vulnerable (and yes, as I type, I’ve been googling this question without any satisfactory answer). So there are some days where we have a very nice outing, with just the right amount of wind, and others where the boat is rocking too much for my poor stomach to handle.

And here’s the part where I get to the title of this post: our outing last Saturday. The wind was actually reasonably fine, but I’d been having tummy troubles previously, which meant that I really should have just stayed onshore, but I suppose I was a bit in denial — aaaaand it also meant that we were back in the dock not even an hour after we’d left. (My husband was not happy.)

But then we went to the marina’s pool, and my husband and son cooled off while I relaxed poolside, and the crazy thing is that my memories of nice relaxing afternoons sailing are so ingrained in me that rather than feeling disappointed at the failed sailing outing, I was so able to visualize all the relaxing sailing outings that having had a failed outing just now didn’t bother me. So it’s funny, I guess, what we remember fondly and what we don’t, and where the pleasantness of an outing stays foremost in our minds vs. where we only remember the misery of it.

I’ll conclude with a pet peeve of mine: it drives me batty when people talk about going on vacations or doing other activities with their children as a form of “making memories.” Grrr. No. You should go camping, or play a board game, or ride bikes together, or do whatever the heck it is that you like to do with your families because you enjoy it, or, failing that, because it makes your kids happy. Whether they’ll remember it years from now really shouldn’t be a determinant of what choices you make. And, yes, I know it’s just an expression, and I presume it doesn’t do any harm — unless, that is, families abandon doing enjoyable things with their too-young-to-remember-anything children because there won’t be any “memories” or unless families always seek out that which is new and different — and expensive — because going on the same bike ride or hike or playing the same game you’ve always played isn’t “making a memory.” But it still bugs me.

Image: yeah, I usually don’t have family pictures, but this one is a number of years old by now and it’s a sideways view, anyway.

Previous Post

June 18, 2018

Kids, Cages, Part 2

Next Post

June 21, 2018 The Sh**hole theory of immigration politics

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Actuarial/Retirement Issues Politics Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 December 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 August 2021 June 2021 April 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Gospel records the birth of John the Baptist?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Luke Mark John Matthew