Another reason Catholic doctrine pairs marriage and children

Last updated on: September 15, 2016 at 3:33 pm by Jane the Actuary

Another reason Catholic doctrine pairs marriage and children 2016-09-15T15:33:17-06:00 Jane the Actuary

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

a flicker photo; https://www.flickr.com/photos/69184488@N06/8091027271/in/photostream/; creative commons license.

Here’s an excerpt from a letter from the New York Times’ “ethicist” column:

My wife and are I childless. We can’t have children of our own, and in any case, I have never wanted children. Now we are in our 40s, and my wife is starting the process of adoption. She is very well aware that I do not want to adopt a child, but to keep the peace in our relationship, I go along, under protest. . . .

I know that I will not go through with the adoption, but I am not sure when to pull the plug. There is a high chance that our relationship will fail over this. She is still young enough to start a family with somebody else. I would rather be alone than be a miserable family man I never wanted to be.

Now, I suppose this shouldn’t be shocking. After all, I’ve read plenty of advice columnist letters in which couples argue over whether to have children, or in which a husband gives his wife the ultimatum, “get an abortion or I’m filing for divorce,” or, in the reverse case, a wife gets an abortion, sometimes repeatedly, without telling her husband/the father, because she knows he’d object.

But it is at any rate, a reminder of the value of the Catholic teaching that a marriage isn’t valid unless both parties are open to children. Even disregarding the question of whether one must intentionally seek to procreate at some point during one’s married years, these letters point to something very wrong with a marriage. In some cases, the couple hadn’t discussed the question before marriage, in others, one spouse moved from openness to rejection of children, or from rejection to openness, or, if the pregnancy was a surprise, one, but not the other, was willing to accept the change this would bring.

Current statistics say that 15% of women ages 40 – 44 are childless — a percentage that has, surprisingly dropped from its peak in 2006, though future trends are unknown since the newly open resolve to never have children seems to be more common among the thirtysomethings. How many of those 15% represent couples for whom the question to have a child — now that it is a question, to be answered as you choose — brings about division and bitterness and unhappiness?

image: a flicker photo; https://www.flickr.com/photos/69184488@N06/8091027271/in/photostream/; creative commons license.

Previous Post

September 15, 2016

A stray thought on Social Security and mothers

Next Post

September 16, 2016 R.I.P., ITT Tech

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Actuarial/Retirement Issues Politics Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 December 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 August 2021 June 2021 April 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How many daughters did Job have after his restoration?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Seven Two Five Three