On remarriage: missing the forest for the trees?

Last updated on: October 22, 2015 at 12:36 pm by Jane the Actuary

On remarriage: missing the forest for the trees? 2015-10-22T12:36:48-06:00 Jane the Actuary

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Bottom line on top: the majority of self-identified Catholics simply don’t believe there’s anything wrong with divorcing and remarrying, in about the same proportion as they think that cohabitating is just fine, as well and, presumably, were they asked by Pew researchers, would have said that consensual nonmarital sex is OK.

Now, some of these folks are cultural Catholics who don’t really take the church’s moral teaching all too seriously in any case. But others can’t be so easily dismissed.

What do they think of Jesus’s words about remarriage being equivalent to adultery? I’m not sure, really. Do they think this is somehow a peculiar metaphor for “bad thing” and refer solely to “social-justice” issues, in a case where divorce means abandonment and a woman left without means?

I’ve read in the past proposals to think of the “adultery”, and thus the sin, as referring to the one-time event of the marriage ceremony itself, not the ongoing relationship. I saw this argued in an extended form a while back, and was reminded of it by a piece a facebook friend shared today, which says that we should hold remarried folk to any higher a standard than anyone else “who has sought forgiveness for past sins.”

But this doesn’t make sense if the sin is adultery specifically, and Jesus, of course, doesn’t say anything that suggests that the wedding event itself is the issue.

Perhaps their answer is along the lines of “the early church put words into Jesus’s mouth because they had their own agenda”?

Perhaps it’s more a matter of the modern tendency to rationalize sins into a “can’t be helped” non-sin? Cheat on an exam? Take your pick of justifications: everyone does it. The test-makers were in the wrong because the high-stakes test shouldn’t have been imposed anyway. Or: the student simply didn’t know any better, so shouldn’t be held responsible. With respect to the idea of asking a civilly-remarried couple to refrain from sex: it’s treated as a joke, almost an embarrassment to suggest it — and because that’s the case, because it’s just so preposterous to imagine this, the answer is to move this off the Sin List, or at least create a new list, Sins That Just Can’t Be Helped.

Or perhaps the list is this: Sins That Are On the Sin List for Purely Arbitrary Reasons and May Be Ignored in Real Life. Kind of like our approach to immigration: sure, working with false ID or off the books is a crime, but the government has pretty much stated they don’t care if it’s for the cause of allowing an illegal immigrant to get a job.

And, by the way, guess what else is on this list?

Non-marital sex, in general. (“Pre-marital” implies there’ll ultimately be a marriage, so I avoid that term.) How many of these Catholics who have divorced and remarried, had in the interim period not hesitated to have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend, then go up to communion the next day? Oh, and, of course, contraception. Have you ever heard of someone refraining from communion for that reason?

I’m guessing that, in reality, most priests, most laypeople, however diligent, would hem and haw about “conscience” if asked point-blank whether a cohabitating couple should refrain from communion, and, even more so, a contracepting couple. But it’s remarriage that’s sucking all the oxygen out of the room, because some German bishops are speaking openly about it.

I don’t really have a point. And I have other topics on which I really intended to blog, and I have to finish up my lunch break and go back to setting up a valuation. And I expect that most of my readers would rather I finished up a more politically-minded draft post. But there it is.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

October 21, 2015

Why are women more likely to initiate divorce than men?

Next Post

October 23, 2015 Marriageability, etc.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Actuarial/Retirement Issues Politics Uncategorized

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 December 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 August 2021 June 2021 April 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the Jewish ritual bath called?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Matzah Mikveh Mezuzah Shofar