Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Evangelical
Politics and Religion
What motivates obedience when I don’t want to obey?

What motivates obedience when I don’t want to obey?

Last updated on: July 22, 2025 at 3:14 am by Brad Vaughn

0 Comments

What motivates obedience when I don’t want to obey? 2025-03-17T11:25:43-07:00 Brad Vaughn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

What does true obedience to God look like—and what doesn’t it look like? This isn’t just a theoretical question. It goes to the heart of what it means to follow Christ.

Many of us know we’re supposed to obey God, but have we asked, “Why am I obeying? What drives my obedience?” Is it born from genuine faith, or is it a disguised form of legalism— an attempt to prove ourselves or earn God’s acceptance?

Credit: Flickr/prozaciswack

True obedience isn’t about external compliance or religious performance. It isn’t about checking spiritual boxes or keeping up appearances. Instead, real obedience flows from trust—a living faith that says, “Because I believe You are good, wise, and for me, I will follow You even when I don’t understand.”

But many of us slip into what I call “fobedience”— false obedience that looks right on the outside but is driven by fear, pride, or self-doubt. Let’s explore what that looks like, and how real faith motivates true obedience, even when we don’t feel like obeying.

False Obedience (“Fobedience”)

“Fobedience” is obedience in form, but unbelief in spirit. It’s when we obey to secure something for ourselves—whether peace of mind, approval from others, or God’s favor—as though our works could secure our standing before Him.

Yes, Christians are called to good works (Eph. 2:10). But there’s a world of difference between obeying because we trust God and obeying to prove ourselves. Fobedience obeys to earn love; real obedience obeys because of love.

Before we can understand what drives obedience when we don’t feel like it, we need to address three common ways people wrongly approach obedience:

To Prove to Myself

Some of us obey because we want to reassure ourselves that we’re “really” saved. We think, *“*If I can just do enough good, maybe I’ll know I’m right with God.”

But when obedience is about proving ourselves, it’s not about God at all—it’s about managing our anxiety. This path leads to endless striving and exhaustion, never real peace. True peace comes not from examining our works, but from trusting in what Christ has already done.

To Prove to Others

Sometimes, we obey to look good in front of others—to seem holy, mature, or devoted. But this is obedience driven by fear—fear of rejection or exposure. Jesus warned against this: “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people to be seen by them” (Matt. 6:1). If our obedience is about keeping up appearances, we’re not loving God—we’re using Him to protect our image.

To Prove to God

Perhaps most dangerously, we obey as if to convince God to love us—as if our works could earn His acceptance. But this denies the gospel. Our acceptance with God is because of Christ, not because of us. Obedience that tries to “prove” something to God turns Him into a cosmic employer and our works into a résumé. True obedience comes from resting in who Christ is and what He has already done.

Delight or Duty?

Another confusion we face is whether obedience should flow from delight or duty. Some say obedience must be joyful to be real; others worry they’ll never obey if they wait to feel joy.

Scripture offers a balanced view: Ideally, obedience grows into delight. But often, it begins with duty. In a fallen world, our desires are disordered. If we wait until we feel like obeying, we’ll rarely obey—especially when God’s commands require sacrifice.

Think of Jesus in Gethsemane. He didn’t “delight” in going to the cross. He obeyed because He trusted the Father (Matt. 26:39). Abraham didn’t feel joy in preparing to sacrifice Isaac, but he trusted God enough to obey.

Over time, as we obey, God reshapes our hearts. What feels like duty now may grow into delight later, as we see God’s wisdom and love more clearly.

How Faith Actually Motivates Obedience

So what makes real obedience different from legalistic compliance? Outwardly, both may look the same. But the difference lies in the heart, in the relationship that drives obedience.

True obedience flows from trust in God—from faith that says, “You are wise and good, and I’ll follow You even when I don’t understand.” It’s not about proving how much we can suffer or how strictly we can keep rules. It’s about trusting God’s character.

If we wait until we want to sacrifice our time, energy, or desires, we’ll never start. Obedience isn’t about waiting for perfect feelings. It’s about trusting God’s wisdom over our own.

Obedience isn’t “legalistic” when motivated by two things:

A desire to honor God because of who He is.
A longing to become like Christ, who obeyed the Father even unto death.

In fact, obedience born from duty can still delight God, because it shows that our love for Him outweighs our own desires. If we only obey when we want to, are we really submitting to God—or just to ourselves?

Consider Abraham. Everything in him must have recoiled from the command to sacrifice Isaac, yet he obeyed because he trusted God. If Abraham could obey such a terrible command, surely we can trust God enough to obey even when His commands feel costly or confusing. Godly obedience often feels difficult, even arbitrary, at first. But God sees what we cannot. Sometimes, it’s only after a long season of obedience that we recognize the wisdom of God’s ways.

If we wait until obedience feels good or makes sense, we’ll stay stuck. But if we believe Jesus is King— if we trust His love and authority— that is reason enough to obey. Faith doesn’t focus on the commands themselves but on the God who gives them. Faith says, “I don’t need to know why, because I know Who.”

Like a child trusting a parent, faith obeys even when it doesn’t understand. And faith looks beyond present sacrifice to future reward. Like Moses, who “considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt” (Heb. 11:26), faith sees that God’s promises are better and lasting.

If you’re struggling to obey in some area, don’t wait for perfect motivation or feelings. Obey because you trust that Jesus knows what you do not. And as you walk with Him, what felt like a burden may become a joy—not because it’s easy, but because you’ve come to know Him better.

Faith Acts

Hebrews 11 is often called the “hall of faith,” but it could just as easily be called the “hall of obedience.” Each person listed acted because they trusted God. Abel offered. Noah built. Abraham went. Moses refused Egypt’s treasures. Rahab welcomed the spies. Here’s a question worth asking: If Hebrews 11 were still being written today, what works of faith—what costly acts of obedience—would be written next to my name?

At the end of the day, faith justifies not because it is a work, but because it magnifies Christ. And real faith will always produce works. Not every good deed comes from faith—people do good things for all kinds of reasons—but only the works that flow from trusting God are acts of true obedience.

And yes, love that comes from faith is not perfect. It stumbles and wavers. But it tries. Like Roosevelt’s “man in the arena,” real faith gets into the fight. It may not always win, but it steps into the struggle because God is worth it.

So instead of asking, “Is my obedience perfect?” ask, “Is my obedience growing out of faith?” Am I trusting God enough to obey, even when it’s hard? The obedience that God delights in says: “I trust You, even when I don’t see.”

Politics and Religion

Education and Religion

Other

Practical Contextualization

Theology

discipleship

obedience

Previous Post

July 8, 2025

What if we cared about God’s reputation more than our own?

Next Post

August 5, 2025 The Paradox of Pride

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"A thoughtful and thought-provoking article that raises important questions about the challenges facing the Western ..."

amelia854taylor

The War on the Western Church

"to fit social or religious expectations. Especially women, who were expected to sacrifice everything to ..."

shay049ana

3 reasons you should not be ..."

"Powerful reminder short, sturdy truths can lose their weight if treated as slogans. The solas ..."

daniel603maclise

How Western Individualism Quietly Undermines the ..."

"If 'America’s deepest crisis is not merely political. It is moral and spiritual.' is in ..."

klatu

The Real Crisis Beneath America’s Social ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atonement Biblical Theology Book Reviews China Chinese Church Chinese Culture Chinese Language Collectivism Contextualization Culture (General) Ecclesiology Evangelism Gospel Honor & Shame (Face) Interpretation/Exegesis Justification/Righteousness Missiology Mission Methods One Gospel for All Nations Other Practical Contextualization Reading Romans with Eastern Eyes Resources Romans Salvation (General) Saving God's Face Seeking God's Face The Cross in Context Theological Contextualization Theological Education Theology Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who is the "chosen lady" addressed in a New Testament letter?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Unspecified church Mary Phoebe Lydia

Books by This Author Books by Brad Vaughn

See All Titles »

What motivates obedience when I don’t want to obey?

False Obedience (“Fobedience”)

To Prove to Myself

To Prove to Others

To Prove to God

Delight or Duty?

How Faith Actually Motivates Obedience

Faith Acts

Who is the "chosen lady" addressed in a New Testament letter?