Get it Together, America–We’ve Got Company

Last updated on: September 23, 2015 at 2:24 pm by Erin Wathen

Get it Together, America–We’ve Got Company 2015-09-23T14:24:19-07:00 Erin Wathen

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Maybe this week in U.S. news is no more embarrassing than any other. But I tell you what, I am feeling especially appalled by our collective bad behavior. Maybe it’s because the behavior has been especially…well, appalling. Or maybe it’s because the POPE IS IN TOWN, and, I don’t know, it seems like we should clean up the place a little. Use a napkin, at the very least, and not put our *^@%#^ feet on the table.

It’s hard to know where to begin, with such ignorant, arrogant and buffoonish activity happening around every corner. But let’s start with Turing Pharmaceuticals, which bought the rights to a drug used to treat infection in infants, and AIDS and cancer patients… and marked up the cost by more than 5000%. Overnight. The more images I see of this kid (yes, he’s a kid) who is CEO of the company, I’m thinking: what a great sequel it would be to “The Fault in Our Stars!” Hazel meets Logan Huntzberger and he takes away her meds. Life and Death Brigade business, baby!

And then, because America is not a sad enough place these days, we go and RUIN THE MUPPETS. I’m talking, completely defiled. Listen, I was on-board for a resurrection. I went in with an open-mind. I was prepared to love the Muppets of my childhood but also (maybe) let them become something else for the new generation. But… this is not Muppet-dom for the new generation. In fact, I’m not sure WHO it is for. It is about as un-kid-friendly as anything on tv—HBO included! And if it is meant for adults who grew up staying up late on school nights to watch the original, then they missed that target by a mile, as well. The show may have its clever moments, but ultimately, it is completely joyless. And the part of the show that requires the most suspension of disbelief? It’s is not that a frog can talk, or even that a frog can date pigs—it is the fact that Kermit’s new piggy girlfriend has THE WORST southern accent in the history of television. I mean… this is Hollywood! Can they not find a Muppet who’s actually FROM the south?

And meanwhile, MEANWHILE, Donald Trump is somehow still a thing. And not hanging on by a thin hair of his terrible head, but as the front-runner for the GOP nomination. Which, on a good day is terrifying. But when the Pope is in town, it just seems like utter farce. Imagine a scenario in which the Pope’s next U.S. trip involves a visit to a Trump Whitehouse. Talk about shaking the dust from his cassock…

Then of course, to top it all off, a major car manufacturer has been duping the EPA, in an act of calculated, intentional and I guess recreational pollution of the already suffering earth… Wait, what’s that? THAT’S NOT AMERICA?? Thank goodness! Another country, somewhere in the world, that can nearly match us in utter debauchery… YOU’RE WELCOME, Germany. You think you are catching shade now, imagine what the world’s ire would feel like if it wasn’t so consumed with the circus that is American politics.

And then—let us not forget—this whole week started with the GOP voicing a collective invective against the Pope. I half expected them to form a picket line around the White House this morning, so afraid were they that the Holy Father might mention something about climate change, guns, or immigration.

Y’all know I am not with the Pope on everything –“traditional marriage” and the whole women-can’t-be-priests business, to name a few—but COME ON. When Padre Batman, who is as faithfully committed to serving the poor and vulnerable as any religious leader in the known world, comes to your shores, you say “hi” and “welcome,” and “Can I perhaps get you a drink?” You do not tell him to keep his g**dam mouth shut about foreign policy.

It is profoundly ironic—and not in the funny way. The party that has so firmly aligned itself with the religious right is NOT HAPPY TO SEE THE POPE. I do not understand. But it just goes to show what a hot mess we-all are right now.

I hope they are showing him a good time up there in our nation’s capital, is all I’ve got to say. I also hope they don’t let him near a tv. Because, on the face of it, we are a nation at war with itself, and at war with the rest of the world. We are a nation of xenophobs, hostile towards anything that looks like it might come from elsewhere—especially if it comes from ‘elsewhere’ and also has authority. We are in love with guns and money, we steal drugs from sick children, and we don’t always take very good care of our neighbor.

So I hope they feed him well, is what I’m saying. And I hope there’s plenty of wine. Perhaps a few spirits, along with all those babies he’s blessing, will make our collective bad manners and utter lack of hospitality go down a little easier.

Meanwhile, I’m not one for confession. But just scanning through the week in news makes me want to say,

Father, forgive us, for we have sinned…

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