Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Irreverin

Home
Progressive Christian
The Sacred Maybe

The Sacred Maybe

Last updated on: August 6, 2013 at 2:09 pm by Erin Wathen

The Sacred Maybe 2013-08-06T14:09:21-07:00 Erin Wathen

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I have a boy who is almost 3, but he’s been talking like 4 since he was 2. He didn’t get the memo that boys and/or second children do not develop vocabulary as quickly as their female/first child counter parts. I mean, boy likes to chat. At his two year check-up the nurse said, “does he know a) 5-10 words, b)10-20 words, or c) more than 20 words?” My husband and I kind of looked at each other and said, “um…why don’t you ask him?”

For all his articulate advancement, there are certain turns of phrase that he doesn’t quite understand. Kind of like that foreign exchange student you knew in high school who was a better writer and test-taker than you, but didn’t get nuance or figures of speech. “What do you mean, that’s cool? Would you like to borrow my sweater?”

Yeah, ambiguities really don’t fly with little boys. And maybe that’s not so much a development thing as it is a little boy thing…

“Are the cinnamon rolls ready yet?” “Almost.”

“Can we go to the park?” “Maybe later.”

“Can I watch a cartoon?” “We’ll see.”

In every instance, (especially those related to food), he just cannot accept the ‘maybe’ as my real answer. He doesn’t have a fit, and he doesn’t scream and yell. He just looks at me, perplexed, like I’m speaking some exotic foreign language, and then he asks me again. And again, and again, in his hyper-articulate little posture, until I deliver a clear “YES,” or “NO,” or “NOW.”

So you can imagine how the almost-3-year-old brain–even one with excellent language skills–struggles to process “we are moving. Later. Soon. Eventually.”

Every time we get a box packed up and moved into the garage, there is this little person standing there, asking earnestly, “NOW is it time to go to Kansincity?” (For the record: “Kansincity,” in his mind, equals the hotel where we stayed on our short visit there. “Kansincity has an elevator!” he shares with all who will listen. “And a pool! And Fruit Loops!”)

Anyway…how do you explain 90 days/ 6 weeks/ 1 month to a small child? When words like ‘soon,’ ‘later,’ and ‘eventually’ are terms from a parallel universe? The vagaries of time are mysterious enough to the supposed grown-ups. What is as small kid supposed to do with, “We will load up the moving van exactly 30(?) days from now, and then we will get in our car and drive for AWHILE, and then we will be ELSEWHERE and then we will live SOMEWHERE, and then… and then we will find the library and the grocery store.”

Luckily, his attention span is as short as his vocabulary is wide. He is easily distracted with toys, books, ice cream… Sure, he will ask me again later. But for now, I can hold him off and deal with my own discomfort brought on by those same words: ‘soon,’ ‘maybe,’ and ‘somewhere.’ Even for supposed grown ups, those are hard words to live by.

And when you’re moving–not just house to house, but into a whole new life place–those words sometimes feel like the only words there are. Everything in my life right now is a big fat ‘maybe, later, we’ll see.’

Truth is, we all hate ambiguity. We are programmed, culturally and maybe even biologically, to want ANSWERS. Preferably, now. We cling to present comfort over future uncertainty, any day of the week. Some even cling to present misery over possible growth; because that possible future is unknown. Later. Maybe. Elsewhere.

When I think of all the opportunities I could have easily passed up because my present was comfortable–or because my misery was familiar–I get a little short of breath. I could have missed meeting my husband; I might have stayed in low-paying, soul sucking jobs my whole life long; I’d have missed seeing the world; I’d for darn sure never have been a pastor; or a mother, for that matter.

Whether by choice or by the nature of circumstance, we all find ourselves living, from time to time, with a certain degree of ambiguity. In seasons of transition and becoming, we can crash headlong into the first easy answer; or we can learn the spiritual discipline of living in the empty space. We can seek the sacred in the sea of change and trust that, like any good parent, God will be with us for the whole ride. And probably help find the grocery store.

We could live our whole lives small and scared. After all, what’s here and now is almost always easier than ‘maybe,’ ‘later,’ and ‘elsewhere.’ But my, how much we would miss. So many wonderful things–really, all the wonderful things–start as That Which Might Be. The college application; the unbaked bread; the pregnancy test; the blank page; the road to nowhere/anywhere/somewhere… Not a simple yes or no among them.

All this is to say; sorry, small man-child of mine. I don’t much like it either, but our lives right now are a mess of boxes, ‘maybe’s,’ and ‘eventually.’ But, eventually, we will find the grocery store, the library, your new bedroom, and probably, another doctor who will not believe how many words you know. You will shout ‘conquistador!’ at the top of your tiny lungs, and then you will recite the whole of Ephesians. But none of that is quite as important to me as how you answer the big questions later… the big questions that have no easy answer or discernible timeline. My great hope is that you will one day look that big, gaping ‘elsewhere’ in the eye, and count it as joy, and say “I don’t know,” and “we’ll see.” And it will be such good news.

progressive christianity

spirituality

Previous Post

August 1, 2013

Annie

Next Post

August 7, 2013 Undeclared (The College Survival Edition)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category a good week for progress Advent and Christmas Being a Person desert life faith and community Good News for Progressives Lent and Easter Marriage and Family S*^! Jesus Says sabbatical road tripping Spirituality in Culture Talking to Strangers the "Best Stuff I Ever Ate" diet travel Uncategorized writing Writing Prompt Wednesday

Select a Month January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 February 2011 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What city did the wise men visit to see King Herod before finding Jesus?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jerusalem Hebron Nazareth Bethlehem