Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Irreverin

Home
Progressive Christian
Muffin Moment: A Mean Mom and Minister

Muffin Moment: A Mean Mom and Minister

Last updated on: February 10, 2013 at 9:41 am by Erin Wathen

Muffin Moment: A Mean Mom and Minister 2013-02-10T09:41:28-07:00 Erin Wathen

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I gave her 3 chances. I am not a mean mom.

3 chances to help me make muffins without sticking her hand in the bowl of flour and sugar. After the third, she was not allowed to help me anymore. Kicking screaming meltdown ensued. Morning—day OFF morning—disrupted.

Was it worth it?

Thing is, it was not about the muffin mess. I don’t mind cleaning a little flour off the counter. But after 3 times, she was testing. And the answer to that test is, if you do something mom or dad says not to do, bad stuff happens. Because next time, “no” might be about running out in traffic. Or getting in the car with a friend who’s been drinking. Or any number of things in between there that might just make her a really unpleasant person when she grows up—someone who has no boundaries and does not play well with others.

Thing is, she is a 2, and she does not know the difference in the “NO” that means, hey, that stove is hot, and the “no” that means stop that, you’re going to make a mess. She is 2, and lacks the gift of discernment. All she needs to learn now is that no means no.

You know who else lacks discernment? These folks, apparently:

http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/6626/

If you don’t want to read the whole article, the gist is this: “Surry Baptist Association in North Carolina expelled Flat Rock Baptist Church in Mount Airy from membership July 26, two weeks after their new female pastor started at the church.” The church
has been officially “disfellowshipped.” Now, I am an ecumenically-minded
person, and I know that the Baptists—all branches of them—have grown in many
ways these last 10 years or so. I also know that they are not categorically
racist, sexist, homophobics. That said… it takes a really special kind of
literalism to say that women can be ministers, just not SENIOR ministers… I
just don’t hardly know where to start.

Wait, yes I do. I will start with—discernment. Grown up people of faith are not toddlers with their hand in the flour jar. They are not small children prone to run out into traffic. And, increasingly, grown up people of faith are not accepting doctrine
that has been passed down, repressed and backward generation to generation,
boxed up and ready for consumption. Increasingly, people seeking the holy are
realizing that they have a right to think for themselves, a right to frame
their faith in the context of their own time, their own experience, their own
inborn sense of grace.

This is not sacrilege, blasphemy, or disbelief. It is the simple awareness that some scripture—especially some of the letters and law—were written for people who had not yet learned the power of their own will, their own gifts to distinguish right from wrong, and then from now. Some people who had not quite learned what it meant to all live together in faith and community.

Turns out, this pastor—who looks about 12 years old, but is actually not—has a powerfully prophetic voice in that little community of about 75,000 or so. Turns out, a lot of those 75,000 appreciate not being told who can and cannot bear the gospel to them. A lot of them are showing up at a little church that was dying, not too long ago. They want to see what God might be able to do in a place that is brave enough to cross the street without the Baptist convention crossing guard to carve out the path for them.

Again, not hating on the Baptists. It is a specific worldview that hurts us so, and it is not relegated to any one denomination or organization. I live in the big city, and around here, it is the independent, evangelical mega-churches that pick and choose their literalisms… Of course women can serve the church! There’s the nursery, right over there. Of course God wants you to give to the poor! That passage about giving away EVERYTHING? Oh, ha ha, Jesus didn’t mean that… People flock to these churches by the tens of thousands. People who, in every other area of their lives, would be outraged if they–or their mothers/sisters/daughters/wives–were not given the same opportunities as men. But in the church, it is somehow still ok. In the church, for some reason, it is still ok to live with “because i said so…”

And on and on it goes. Are we 2 years old, or not? Are we small children who live and die by clear yes-es and no’s, or are we the living, breathing, active and present Body of Christ in a changing and hurting world? Rev. Bailey Edwards Nelson calls the grown-up faith “soul competency,” and I think that about says it. Her church—Flat Rock Baptist Church—crossed the street all by their big boy/girl self. They are a shining light to all of us who are trying to live the gospel beyond the boundaries we were given as children.

When my kids get older, I hope they will know that sticking your hand in the flour jar and making a mess is not altoghter a bad thing. But I hope they will also know that “no meaning no” when they were children, led them to be wiser and kinder adults, free to trust their own instincts and gifts, and empowered to use their own sense of direction when crossing the street. And my deeper, secret, mom hope–that even then, they will be crossing the street to get to church. A Church that has learned and grown and changed alongside them, all the days of their lives.

Also, “disfellowship” is not a word. Biblical or otherwise.

bailey edwards nelson

flat rock baptist church

mcafee school of theology

north carolina baptist assocation

parenting

peace

phoenix

progressive christianity

surrey baptist assocation

talents

vocation

worship

Previous Post

August 6, 2011

Best of Both Worlds

Next Post

August 9, 2011 Stop Making Me Look So Hot!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category a good week for progress Advent and Christmas Being a Person desert life faith and community Good News for Progressives Lent and Easter Marriage and Family S*^! Jesus Says sabbatical road tripping Spirituality in Culture Talking to Strangers the "Best Stuff I Ever Ate" diet travel Uncategorized writing Writing Prompt Wednesday

Select a Month January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 February 2011 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "What must I do to be saved?"

Select your answer to see how you score.

Zacchaeus The Philippian jailer Nicodemus Peter