Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Evangelical
Relationships and Religion
Joy: The Need We Overlook

Joy: The Need We Overlook

Last updated on: October 2, 2026 at 5:01 pm by Beverly R. Green

Joy: The Need We Overlook 2026-10-02T17:01:12-04:00 Beverly R. Green

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Joy–We All Need It

My parents moved into an assisted living facility nearly three years ago. We knew that adjustment would be difficult for them, but I don’t think anyone could foresee just how difficult. Months of staff changes, small, cramped quarters, and food that is not to their liking, as well as having to learn to coexist with 68 “neighbors” who have a wide spectrum of complications that range from bad tempers to dementia has taken a toll on their mood.

One Sunday a month, Marty and I hold a church service for the residents. Since it seemed like my parents had particularly suffered in this area, last month I taught about the importance of holding onto our joy. Afterwards, Mom told me, “Bev, that one really hit home. You need to teach it over and over because we tend to forget.” This is the text of that message:

There’s a quiet strength that only comes from walking with God for decades. As we reach our senior years, we carry something precious inside us: a faith that has been tested, stretched, and proven real.

There are many challenges, physical, mental, and spiritual, that face us as we get older. One of those challenges, in my opinion, is living a life full of joy.

Happiness vs. Joy

Does that mean that there should never be any sadness or grief? Of course not. But it does mean that those times don’t last nearly as long, and that when we fall, we fall into the arms of Christ, and He takes on our burdens and gives us His strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

“Some seasons in life feel like they are sucking the joy right out. They feel like rebuilding walls, one heavy stone at a time. The work doesn’t stop. The days are long. Joy feels far away.”

That’s precisely where God’s people were in Nehemiah 8. They had rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem. After years of ruin, the city finally stood again, but the hearts of its people were too weary to feel joy.

Then**,** Ezra, the priest, opened the Book of the Law. From dawn until noon, he read it aloud. The people listened, and they wept because they realized how far they’d wandered from God’s ways. But in the middle of their tears, Nehemiah said something unexpected:

“Go, eat rich foods, drink sweet drinks, and send portions to those who have nothing prepared, since today is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, because the joy of the Lord is your strength.” – Nehemiah 8:10

Here’s a thought: Joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness depends on what’s happening around you. Your circumstances dictate your happiness. Joy runs much deeper. Joy is anchored in who God is, and who God is does not change with our circumstances. Who we are to God dictates our joy.

If the people of Nehemiah 8 were depending on their circumstances to set their mood, they would have been long defeated. But God told them not to grieve over their circumstances, because there was something much stronger than their grief and something much more important than their present condition–the joy of the Lord. And why was the Lord joyful? He was joyful because those people who He loved so dearly and passionately were returning to Him. Ezra read from the Book of the Law, and that brought guilt and conviction upon the hearts of the people. But then he told them to celebrate: Eat! Drink! Share with others! Have a party! The overflowing joy of God for you and in you as He alone can and will give, is all you need.

We don’t live in the days of Nehemiah, but there is plenty going on right now to steal our joy.

Living in the Past Steals Our Joy

Sometimes it’s living in the past that steals our joy. Regret for the past sometimes rises to the surface. Choices you wish you’d made differently. Words you can’t un-say. Relationships that broke and never fully healed. Looking back over a long life means looking at the parts you’re not proud of, too.

Psalm 103:12 tells us that “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

Here is what the gospel declares loud and clear: you are forgiven. Not partially. Not conditionally. As far as the east is from the west, which is to say infinitely, God has removed your sins from you. They are not waiting to be brought up again. They are not hanging over you. The cross paid for all of it. All you need to do is receive it. Don’t keep punishing yourself for what God has already forgiven. You can’t go back and fix the past, but you can live today in the freedom of full forgiveness. That is one of the most powerful things available to you right now. You can receive the joy of the Lord!

Sometimes it’s living in the past, but sometimes it’s the future that steals our joy:

Living in the future steals your joy because worry and anxiety focus your mind on events that have not happened yet, causing you to miss the beauty of right now.

We need to understand that worry changes nothing. Spending mental energy on tomorrow does not fix future problems, but it ruins your mood today. A big problem arises inside you when you imagine the worst. The truth is, most things you stress over never actually happen, meaning you suffer through imaginary fears instead of real life. The media notoriously promotes fear and anxiety, and we can never trust them to be honest. Sometimes what we worry about is a lie that we have been told and accepted as truth. Worry, stress, fear: they steal your joy.

Philippians 4:6-7 tells us:“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Four Thieves That Can Steal Joy Today

That covers the past and the future, but what about today? According to the popular program Focus on the Family, there are four thieves that can rob you of your joy today.

#1: Believing sadness disappoints God

God isn’t disappointed when we’re sad. He not only created us to feel, He also cares about our emotions.

When we hide our feelings, we only add to our pain because our emotions are still there. We may tend to distance ourselves from God in an attempt to hide from the truth that we’re not handling our emotions well. Yet that’s when we need Him most.

In John 16, Jesus told His disciples He was going away. When He saw their sadness, He told them, “You have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” Jesus acknowledged the disciples’ sadness. He didn’t rebuke them for it. Instead He gave them a future hope.

#2: Feeling you don’t measure up

When we feel inadequate, we can doubt ourselves. “Shouldn’t I know what to do?” “Why is this so hard?”

Yet while we may not know the next step, God knows. He knows us. He knows our capabilities, especially when we partner with Him. He offers us grace for the journey, one step at a time. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” I used to take long walks in the evening, and part of my walks led me on a path through a wooded area. It got very dark in those woods, so I took a flashlight with me. That flashlight did not light the entire path. It did not show me the end of my walk. However, it did show me where I could securely take my next step or two, and that kept me from falling.

Likewise, God does not often show us the end of the path we are on. In truth, if He did, we might just be too frightened to walk ahead. We might stop right where we are. He gives us the grace we need to continue one step at a time, and He keeps our feet from stumbling. Understanding this truth allows us to ask ourselves, How can I rely on Jesus more in this moment? In this season? With that loved one?

To combat this joy stealer, we need to take the focus off what we have (or don’t have) to offer and place it in the Hands of God who can accomplish His will through us, even as He directs our steps. Our feelings have no bearing on this truth.

#3: The need to be in control

We can be tempted with the urge to fix and manage and micromanage, yet the more we try to be in control of our circumstances, the more out of control we feel.

But biblical joy is deep-rooted. It invites us to put our trust in the Source, instead of trying to be the source. When we step out of assignments that were never ours to begin with, we release the lie that it’s our job to make sure everyone we love never hurts, falls or fails, which is an impossible task.

#4: Believing that hard seasons disqualify us from God’s promises

There was a time when I was a single parent with two busy, little children, two full-time jobs, and utility bills stacking up. I was tired all the time and I cried a lot, because I couldn’t help but believe that everything was all my fault. Late one evening, I had just returned with the children from Bible class. They had gotten bubbles as a reward from their teacher. Of course, they wanted to blow bubbles right then, but I was just too tired and stressed to deal with it. I told them to put the bubbles away, but my son insisted that he was going to carry his around. And of course, he spilled them … all over the kitchen floor. I ran to the sink to get a towel, and launched into an impromptu skate across the floor. I did not fall down. The children giggled. I made a choice. I turned around and skated back across the floor. Soon the children joined me and we sang a song and skated all around the kitchen. And we laughed. And the stress went away.

I sent the children up to get ready for bed, and I got out a damp mop, and the soap came up easily … and there was a bonus, I had a clean kitchen floor. Sometimes, we just need to choose to laugh. Laughter is a great way to generate joy.

On the days when your body hurts, and loneliness sits heavy, and you miss the people and the life you used to have, joy is still available. Not as a performance you put on–not as the smiley mask you wear because you think you’re supposed to; not as toxic positivity that denies that anything is wrong; but as a confidence knowing: “I am loved. I am held. This is not the end of my story.”

Nehemiah wasn’t telling the people to pretend they weren’t sad. He was pointing them toward a strength that could outlast their circumstances and their feelings. The joy of the Lord is not a feeling you conjure up. It’s a truth you choose to stand on, even when standing is hard.

The Oil of Joy

Isaiah 61:1-4 tells us: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”

We, in particular, who are past middle age, need to absorb the knowledge that aging is not the twilight of joy, or even of happiness, for that matter. It is a unique season of spiritual harvest. Our fruit shifts from the frantic labor of our younger years to a deeper wisdom, time for prayer, and profound peace that God has offered us through His Son Jesus Christ.

Walk in joy, Beloved, and God bless you!

General Christian

Previous Post

September 21, 2026

The Saturday Evening Musings of a "Mean Teacher"

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What did the people do when Ezra read from the Book of the Law?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Wept and repented Laughed Ran away Destroyed idols