{"id":1344,"date":"2024-07-01T06:51:42","date_gmt":"2024-07-01T10:51:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/humorbreak\/?p=1344"},"modified":"2024-06-20T11:08:21","modified_gmt":"2024-06-20T15:08:21","slug":"i-want-to-talk-to-the-animals-like-they-did-in-the-bible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/humorbreak\/2024\/07\/i-want-to-talk-to-the-animals-like-they-did-in-the-bible\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want to Talk to the Animals Like They Did in the Bible"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Animals Talked in the Bible<\/h2>\n The serpent spoke to Eve\/image courtesy of Pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n The Bible records three accounts of talking animals.<\/a> The first occurs in Genesis 3:1-5<\/a> when the serpent spoke to Eve. It makes me wonder whether or not Eve thought it strange that a serpent would speak at all or whether all the animals spoke, therefore, it was no big deal. We know how that encounter turned out. The second account is Balaam\u2019s Donkey in Numbers 22:22-40<\/a>. Again, Balaam did not appear to find it odd that his donkey<\/a> talked to him. In this story, it appears Balaam was the real donkey for not listening to his beast. The third reference is found in Revelation 8:13<\/a> in which an eagle cries, \u201cWoe! Woe! Woe! to the inhabitants of the earth from the rest of the trumpet blasts that the three angels are about to blow!\u201d<\/em> This is a dire warning that judgment is coming. \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Let me tell you something\/image courtesy of Pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n**<\/h2>\n*** <\/h2>\n I Wish I Could Talk to the Animals<\/h2>\n ** *In my forty years as a veterinarian, there were some things I envied among those of my more esteemed \u201creal doctor\u201d colleagues, not the least of which was their patients could talk and tell them where it hurt. That is, except for pediatricians, who I believe deserve a lot of kudos for a profession paralleling that of veterinarians, save for their much higher income. Another thing I envied, particularly among \u201creal doctor surgeons,\u201d was they didn\u2019t have to contend with fleas in their surgical fields. At least I hope they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Dr. Dolittle Could Talk to the Animals<\/strong><\/h2>\n But back to treating patients who can\u2019t talk. More than once I wished for the ability of Dr. Dolittle<\/a> to \u201ctalk to the animals.\u201d I thought I should have been endowed with this skill as my maiden name was Little, which is close enough to Dolittle. It is always frustrating to be presented with an animal in which the complaint is \u201che\u2019s not doing right.\u201d We even have an acronym for this in veterinary medicine\u2014ADR, which stands for \u201cain\u2019t doin\u2019 right.\u201d Another common presentation was \u201che\u2019s not himself.\u201d I always had to stifle the urge to ask, \u201cWell, if he\u2019s not himself, who is he?\u201d<\/p>\n Still, there were so many times I longed to get into the head of the animal. What were they thinking? Why couldn\u2019t they just cooperate so we could get the blood sample, radiograph, ultrasound, etc., the first time without bodily injury and wailing and gnashing of teeth? (Usually mine.) Why was it that trimming toenails often evoked a response similar to what one might expect with having the whole foot amputated without anesthesia? I just wished I could communicate and speak their language.<\/p>\n ***** * Sometimes my patients talk to me\/image courtesy of author<\/figcaption><\/figure>\nThe Times My Patients Talked to Me<\/h2>\n*** ** However, there were a few occasions when I knew exactly what my patients were thinking because they told me. These patients were talking birds. Once, when I first saw my patient, I said, \u201cHello, pretty bird.\u201d It responded with an obscenity that made my toes curl, leaving no doubt as to what he wanted me to do. Another time, as I walked into the exam room, the bird was sitting on the table outside his cage. When he saw me, he said, \u201cI\u2019m okay, I\u2019m okay, I\u2019m okay,\u201d and ran back into his cage, pulling the door closed behind him. One bird called me a \u201cheifer.\u201d Once, while I was working at an animal rescue, a macaw ran up and down his overhead perch admonishing me to \u201cStop it!\u201d \u00a0I\u2019ve even had birds bite me and then laugh. But the funniest one of all was a bird I restrained for a nail trim. He screamed, \u201cHelp! Murder! Police!\u201d I could only imagine what went on in his house.<\/p>\n ** Maybe It\u2019s Better I Don\u2019t Talk to the Animals<\/strong><\/h2>\n * On further reflection, it is probably best I didn\u2019t know what my patients were thinking. That way, I could fool myself into thinking they actually liked me. Of the three occasions when animals spoke in the Bible, it didn\u2019t turn out well for humans.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" * *******Animals Talked in the Bible The Bible records three accounts of talking animals. The first occurs in Genesis 3:1-5 when the serpent spoke to Eve. It makes me wonder whether or not Eve thought it strange that a serpent would speak at all or whether all the animals spoke, therefore, it was no big deal. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5198,"featured_media":1371,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[252,255,258,261],"class_list":["post-1344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-animals-talking-in-the-bible","tag-biblical-accounts-of-animals-talking","tag-dr-dolittle","tag-talking-birds"],"yoast_head":"\nI Want to Talk to the Animals Like They Did in the Bible<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Bible records 3 accounts of animals talking. 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