Brothers and Sisters

Last updated on: June 10, 2011 at 3:04 am by Tara Edelschick

Brothers and Sisters 2011-06-10T03:04:52-06:00 Tara Edelschick

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

After teaching in New York for five years, I went to grad school. If I thought I had done a lot of work to root out my racism, grad school took it to a whole new level.

It was there that I learned the term White ally. White allies recognize their own unearned privilege and work with others to fight oppression and share power. I loved the term, especially because it gave me a clear sense of what my role should be in a messed up system I didn’t create but nonetheless benefit from.

Allies don’t pretend to be from the same country; they are simply fighting together in the same cause. I cant know what it’s like to send my black boy to a predominantly white school or what it’s like to be a black woman turned down for a job she should have received. It would be insulting to assuming I can. But I can work to end racist beliefs, practices, and systems.

That was all well and good, but over time it didn’t quite fit. For one, I do very little explicit anti-racism work these days. But more important, the term ally doesn’t quite capture the truth of my experience anymore.

Allies are partnerships of convenience. Their interests are not identical. Allies shift as interests shift. Allies are neighbors, yes, but there are borders. Like I said, I know why it’s important to acknowledge that I am White. I’m always going to be White and I’m never going to be anything else.

Still, I feel something deeper than ally now. The borders are not as secure as I once thought. It’s here that my Pentecostal church provides me a better identity. There, I am called Sister Tara. I love the way that sounds. As a sister, I stand not next to, but with my brothers and sisters. We are a family.

Sisters are not twins, but they are more than allies. I know because I have two sisters. I cannot know what Brenda experiences with Multiple Sclerosis, but I know that my heart aches for her in a way that can only be explained by sisterhood. I cannot know what it’s like for Jenny to work every day with young children who die from Cystic Fibrosis, but my heart swells with pride in a way that can only be explained by sisterhood.

In their short lives, the boys have called three other children brother or sister: Eliot, who is just as pasty white as they are. Sophia, who is bi-racial White and Chinese. And Cutie Pie, who is bi-racial, born in the US to a Liberian mother and El Salvadoran father. When other kids have questioned the boys assertions that one of the three was indeed their sibling, the boys fiercely insisted that he or she was indeed a brother or sister. When Eliot moved, Ezra was so upset that he told his teacher, “My brother was killed in the park last week.” That’s what brotherhood feels like.

Having read Nurture Shock, I wish I had taken the opportunity to talk explicitly with the boys about why people questioned their right to call those children siblings. After which I could have affirmed their decision to claim brotherhood as their identity.

Luckily – or tragically – we’ll all have plenty more opportunities to learn what it means to be brothers and sisters in a racist world.

Previous Post

June 9, 2011

Milky

Next Post

June 11, 2011 Way Back

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Reflections on "Mind In The Making" by Ellen Galinsky Uncategorized

Select a Month January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 January 2014 December 2013 October 2013 September 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz