Uninvited

Last updated on: July 8, 2015 at 1:16 am by Hind Makki

Uninvited 2015-07-08T01:16:22-06:00 Hind Makki

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This is Day 21 of Hindtrospectives’ #MyMosqueMyStory series for Ramadan 2015

By Kristina ElSayed

If there was ever a time I felt completely at a disadvantage while parenting Muslim children, it is during Ramadan. I am so often embarrassed when we go to the Mosque during Ramadan that I would rather just not go.

I am the only non-Muslim that attends Jummah on a regular basis at our Mosque. We go every Friday because I take my children and I sit with the ladies and we listen. I cover my hair and wear a prayer skirt out of respect for my family and because it is what is appropriate. I’m not out of place there because people are used to me. They know I sit there where I can see the speaker. I listen to the khutba and my girls are dressed appropriately. We are attentive participants. We don’t talk when the speaker is talking. We Listen. Once the sermon is finished and the prayer begins, I move to the side and wait until everyone is finished praying. Everyone who is a regular knows this. They know me. We say ‘Hi’ to each other. People ask me to watch their babies while they pray.

But during Ramadan, people come out of the woodwork to attend Jummah Services. It’s the same at churches, during Christmas and Easter, there are members who only show up on holidays. The Arabic Jummah is packed with people trying to reestablish their place as a member of the mosque. The English Jummah is also filling up because people are just learning about it or they are holiday Muslims.

People who don’t know me are showing up, taking my spot on the carpet, and eyeballing me when I’m not praying, judging what they do not understand. Watching us like we are the strangers there, not them.

Because I am the regular, and because I’m so used to new people being welcomed at church, I introduce myself to anyone to appears not to know anyone. I approach them. I say hello. I welcome them to the mosque so they don’t feel out of place. I have mentioned before to my husband and friends that I would love for there to be a welcoming committee so that there is at least one person at every prayer to be on the lookout for new people. Or the regulars should have name tags. That way you would know at a glance if someone is just at a new service or is new to the mosque.

I approach them, welcome them and ask if they have been to this mosque before. Or, sometimes I remember meeting them someplace before and I mention that and draw the connection for them. I want the new person to know that they are important and its good that they are there. I want them to feel welcome. After I do all of those things, the first thing they say to me that isn’t a response to my welcome is, “are you fasting? – Do you fast?”

That question shoots me back to that place where I am the odd one out all over again. Invariably I am stunned into silence. I can’t believe that they are so rude to ask. Everything that I plan in my head to respond to their rude behavior flies out of my mind because now I feel like everyone is looking. The spotlight is on me and then I tell them no. I confirm their suspicions that I don’t belong there. They belong and I do not. I’m not part of the club and I can’t masquerade as though I am. I don’t know why I’ve bothered.

I know that the girls are watching though. They see me do this thing, this welcoming. I’m hoping that when they grow older, they will do the same as what I’ve done. If they do, it will be worth all of my embarrassment because the difference will be, when they approach the new person; they will be ambassadors from inside the clubhouse. I will have made a difference here. The mosque will be more welcoming.

Kristina ElSayed is a mother of three, a wife, a jeweler and a writer. She creates empowerment jewelry for people of all faiths and spiritual paths at VianneFere and writes about raising Muslim children as a non-Muslim parent. You can read more at My Islamic Life and AltMuslimah. Kristina can be reached through her website or on twitter @myislamiclife.

#MyMosqueMyStory

Previous Post

July 7, 2015

Mosque With Ten Doors

Next Post

July 9, 2015 Mile High Mosque

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category #BlackLivesMatter #MyMosqueMyStory #ZoulSoul American Hijabi in Europe Black History Month Ertugrul Hindtrospectives Linksies Mawlid Pop Culture Trans Atlantic Relations Uncategorized

Select a Month February 2018 December 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 August 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 December 2012 November 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 October 2010 September 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the Roman emperor during Jesus’ birth?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Tiberius Herod Nero Caesar Augustus