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Embracing a Middle Path By Way Of Compassion And Empathy

Embracing a Middle Path By Way Of Compassion And Empathy

Last updated on: January 25, 2026 at 2:57 am by Henry Karlson

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Embracing a Middle Path By Way Of Compassion And Empathy 2026-01-25T02:57:28-05:00 Henry Karlson

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In Jesus’ Parable of the Publican and the Pharisee, the pharisee did not know empathy and so did not know how to love others. Image photo from Niki.L: Pfarrkirche zu den 14 Nothelfern, Lichtentalerkirche, Wien-Alsergrund: Fresko unter der Orgelempore: Pharisäer und Zöllner, von Franz Sigrist, 1772 / Wikimedia Commons

Everyone needs love and compassion in their lives. Empathy, far from being a sin, is integral to the Christian life. With it, we are given a quality we need to properly fulfill the expectation of love, the love which is at the root of all the commandments God has given us. We need to embrace that love if we are to actualize our potential and become who we are meant to be. It is a part of what makes us not only human, but in the image and likeness of God, the God who is love. In the incarnation, God has shown us that such lies is tied with God’s empathy and solidarity with us. Thus, if we are compassionate, if we are empathetic, we will able to help others better, as St. Gregory the Theologian explained, “The agreeable person is also compassionate; the compassionate is also genuine; the genuine is also reliable in counsel.”[1]

We are not to look to others, trying to find excuses to judge and condemn them; that only leads us to undermine their dignity. It is bad enough if we find ourselves constantly judging others, it is much worse if we do so because we want to make ourselves look better, holier, than everyone else. Jesus wants us to understand this, which is why he told the Parable of Publican and the Pharisee:

Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, `God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, `God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted (Lk. 18:10-14 RSV).

The Pharisee in the story was not compassionate or empathetic; he thought he had reached the height of human perfection, but he was far from it as can be seen in the way he failed to respect the Publican. What he did was look to the Publican, and judge himself to be better than the Publican, and then thanked God for making him to be so great. Such pride is never to be found in and with those who are truly great.

We often find ourselves to be prideful like the Pharisee throughout our lives. We should be more like the Publican, self-reflective and humble. He did not judge others, he only judged himself; because he understood he was far from perfect, he was open to God, hoping God would help him attain what he could not do by himself. Pride undermines our ability to empathize with others as well as what prevents us from being truly great. That empathy is important, and when we denigrate it, when we fail to actualize it in our lives, we will tend to sin, and not, as some claim, when we embrace it. For empathy helps keep us realize that others need the same things we need, and so helps us to engage them with the love God expects from us. Pride, on the other hand, has us think we should all be rugged individuals who need nothing from anyone else, even God. Indeed, our pride has us end up thinking ourselves as being so great we deserve to be praised and admired by all, including God! What a terrible thought to have; so long as we believe it and live it out, all we will have is ourselves. The glory we have will be transitory at best. Before long, we will not be satisfied with our situation. Unless we repent, and change our ways, we will never be able to be happy. We will think all we need to do is repeat what we did before, and attempt to lift ourselves up again and again, always at the expense of others; all we will get, again and again, is momentary pleasure which leaves us feeling empty before long. Repeating the same mistake again and again will only bring us to the same end. If we persist, we can only find ourselves taking the path which not only leads to despair, but the state of existence known as hell.

St. Gregory says that those who have been touched by God, those who are made pure by God and God’s grace, those who are holy because they participate in God’s holiness, will not look to the world to judge and condemn it (for obviously, Jesus did not come to do that, either); rather, they will look to the world in wonder around, first seeing the good in all, and only later, slowly, see the corrupting influence of sin upon it: “For someone free of vice is slower to suspect vice, such as in the current situation.” [2] Certainly, we should not turn away and ignore injustices, especially when people needlessly suffer as a result of them. However, we must not go looking for injustices which are not there, nor should we act as if minor faults are major vices which need our immediate and swift condemnation. We are to pursue justice, working to heal the world from the harm sin has caused it. We are to seek, as it were, the middle path, never going to the extreme of allowing all injustices to go unnoticed and unstopped, but also not following the way of brutality, the way of excessive legalism which knows no compassion, no empathy, no mercy. This middle path, St. Gregory explained, should affect how we live, making sure we do not embrace any extremes, like extremes associated with the way we are to engage our emotions, because it by embracing extremes we are able to be led astray:

For someone free of vice is slower to suspect vice, such as in the current situation. You summoned me to the metropolis for a council that would appoint a bishop. And since it was plausible and persuasive, the pretext was this: you seemed to be ill, breathing your last, yearning to see me and to speak about your funeral arrangements – I didn’t know what would happen or what my presence could contribute to the matter. Feeling my heart sink at the prospect, I got a move on. [3]

Therefore, let us come to know ourselves, learn what makes us act and react, so that we can begin to know what conditions trigger us and make us act in ways we know we should not. If we can do this with ourselves, and so, show compassion towards ourselves, we should then be able to do it with others. We should be able to empathize with them and their situation, allowing us to show them the compassion they need. We will not judge them harshly because we will not want to be judged harshly either. We will realize the mercy we want for ourselves we should give to them. We certainly will know that we should not make ourselves to be the judge, jury and executioner of the sins of others. We should be patient, both with ourselves, and with others, knowing that by doing so, we reflect the patience of God, the patience of love. This is what Jesus wanted us to learn from his parable. We are not to exalt ourselves and judge others through our pride, but rather, we are live our lives with humility so we can look to others with the same empathy we wish others, and God, would look upon us.

[1] St. Gregory of Nazianzus, Gregory of Nazianzus’s Letter Collection. Trans. Bradley K. Storin (Oakland, CA: University of California Press, 2019), 85 [To Eudocius, Ep. 216].

[2] St. Gregory of Nazianzus, Gregory of Nazianzus’s Letter, 72 [To Basil, Ep. 40].

[3] St. Gregory of Nazianzus, Gregory of Nazianzus’s Letter Collection, 72 [To Basil, Ep. 40].

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N.B.: While I read comments to moderate them, I rarely respond to them. If I don’t respond to your comment directly, don’t assume I am unthankful for it. I appreciate it. But I want readers to feel free to ask questions, and hopefully, dialogue with each other. I have shared what I wanted to say, though some responses will get a brief reply by me, or, if I find it interesting and something I can engage fully, as the foundation for another post. I have had many posts inspired or improved upon thanks to my readers.

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