Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Navigating Emotions: The Gift Of Tears In The Spiritual Life

Navigating Emotions: The Gift Of Tears In The Spiritual Life

Last updated on: December 24, 2025 at 2:20 am by Henry Karlson

0 Comments

Navigating Emotions: The Gift Of Tears In The Spiritual Life 2025-12-24T02:20:18-05:00 Henry Karlson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Jusepe de Ribera: The Tears Of Saint Peter / Wikimedia Commons

Reading through various spiritual texts, such as those of ascetics like the Desert Fathers and Mothers, we are told about the gift of tears. Sometimes, someone would have such an emotional reaction during a liturgical celebration and tears will flow from their eyes. At other times, tears will emerge during some private devotion. Spiritual writings confirm that such tears should be seen as a gift, and as such, we should not try to stop them when they we have them. They also suggested most, if not all of us, will have such tears during our spiritual journey. Nonetheless, we must be careful, and not turn the gift into some sort of show. We must not force ourselves to cry, making it as if we are holy and pious in front of others. Our tears should come from the heart. The more we let our hearts grow full of love, the more likely tears will emerge, as we will be more in tune with our own emotions. We will know we should not try to suppress them. And this is why, as George Maloney said, the gift of tears is about more than the tears; they are a sign of God’s work in and with us, and the way God is making us better in our relationships with others:

What the desert Fathers universally experienced through the gift of tears was a cosmic oneness in love and mercy not only toward all other human beings but toward animals, plants and all inanimate creation. God’s loving presence shines through all of creation as a self-giving love that can only engender in the heart of the purified contemplative a like response of love and mercy toward the whole world. Such a heart, freed from all taint of narcissism through tears, can look upon all human beings with the eyes of the compassionate God. [1]

When we examine ourselves, when we see the way we have hurt others (as well as ourselves), and feel ashamed of it all, we are ready. We will experience metanoia, and with that metanoia, we will be ready to receive the grace we need for spiritual transformation. It is at this time we find the gift of tears often manifests itself, showing not only the remorse we have for what we have done, but the joy we experience thanks to the freedom from our past that God has given to us.

Thus, there is nothing to be ashamed about when we cry. Tears are a sign that we still have feelings, that we still have a heart, that we can and will feel both sorrow and joy. We should realize it is a good thing that we can feel. Feelings are not, in and of themselves, something bad; they are a part of us and our natural makeup. That means, there is something good about them, a good which we see Jesus experienced when we read the Gospels (such as when he cried at the death of Lazarus).

We are not meant to be emotionless automatons, even as we are not to let emotions take absolute control over ourselves and our lives. We need to balance ourselves, engaging emotion and reason together. We need to learn how to be merciful to ourselves, even as we should learn how to be merciful to others. We will all make all kinds of mistakes in our lives. Our emotional response to those mistakes will tell us much about ourselves. What we do after we realize what we have done is very important. It is in this light we can read of a discussion two monastic elders had concerning the arrogance of youth, with one showing they have learned the wisdom to understand where it comes from and what we can gain from it:

An elder said: “I hated the arrogance of the young because they toil away and have no reward, looking towards human distinctions.” Another elder, one of the greatest knowledge, said to him: “For my part I entirely approve of them. It is advantageous for a younger person to be arrogant and not neglectful; for indeed he who is arrogant must be in control of himself, must watch and exercise; acquire love and endure affliction [in order to acquire] praise. After he has lived like this, the grace of God comes to him, saying to him: ‘Why do you not toil for me, but for men?’ Then he is persuaded not to pay heed to human distinction, but to that of God.” And having heard, they said: “Indeed, it is so.” [2]

We are to engage others with empathy. We must accept everyone will make mistakes, and, once they have been made, accept that everyone can move on from them. We need to learn this and apply this wisdom to our own lives. We are to engage others, and ourselves, with empathy, sometimes with sympathy, but always with compassion. With grace, even mistakes can be redirected and used for some greater good. Those who have experienced tears will be able to understand this, as they will have experienced the mercy, grace, and healing that God has brought into their lives. It is also an understanding we can attain in other ways. Not everyone has the same kind of emotional response, not everyone cries. The tears, themselves, are not important, except that they can serve as a sign of spiritual transformation. This is what we should be concerned about. And, as George Maloney explained, what we should seek after is a purified heart, one which is able to love and be loved, loving everyone and everything like God, that is, loving all things for the good which is found in them.

[1] George Maloney, SJ, Prayer of the Heart (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1981), 90.

[2] John Wortley, trans., The Anonymous Sayings Of The Desert Fathers: A Select Edition And Complete English Translation (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2013), 495 [N 616].

Stay in touch! Like A Little Bit of Nothing on Facebook.
If you liked what you read, please consider sharing it with your friends and family!

N.B.: While I read comments to moderate them, I rarely respond to them. If I don’t respond to your comment directly, don’t assume I am unthankful for it. I appreciate it. But I want readers to feel free to ask questions, and hopefully, dialogue with each other. I have shared what I wanted to say, though some responses will get a brief reply by me, or, if I find it interesting and something I can engage fully, as the foundation for another post. I have had many posts inspired or improved upon thanks to my readers.

General Christian

Previous Post

December 22, 2025

My Engagements With World Religions: Introduction

Next Post

December 25, 2025 Christ's Birth: A Call To Righteousness

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Gosh, did that hit the spot. I have been having great anxiety lately. And I ..."

Mark Wilson

Rejecting Doom: Christian Hope And Human ..."

"Justice and peace are two sides of the same coin. Where there is justice, there ..."

Dr.Cajetan Coelho

Justice First, Charity Beyond It: Serving ..."

"Thank you for your very, very powerful and very, very insightful analysis of the relationship ..."

alwayspuzzled

Justice First, Charity Beyond It: Serving ..."

"Given the amount of lethal malevolence that has prevailed in human history for the past ..."

alwayspuzzled

We Must Value Our Health

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Abraham abuse Aesthetics AI Aliens Ambrose Ancestors and Everything Andrew Angels Animals Anne Anthony Antisemitism apologetics Apophatic Apostle John Aquinas Artificial Intelligence Asanga Ascension Asceticism Assumption Atheism Attachment Augustine Authority Avarice Balthasar Baptism Beauty Biden birthright citizenship Bishops Black History Books Buddhism Bulgakov Byzantine Calendar C.S. Lewis Calcidius Catholic Catholicism Catholicism Celibacy Charity Chastity children Chrismation Christ Christmas Christology Church Climate Change Common Good Communion Confession Confirmation Conscience Constantine conventions conversion councils Covid Creation Cross Dead Death Death Penalty Debate Deception Demagogues Demons Desert Monks Desert Mothers Desire destruction development Dialogue Dignity Dionsyius Dionysius Discipline Diversity Division Doctor Who doctrine dogma Dormition Dualism Easter Easter Series Ecumenical Councils Ecumenism Education Election Empathy Environment Error Eschatology eschaton Eternity Ethics Eucharist Evangelism Eve Evil evolution Faeries Faith Fear femininity Ficino Florence Florensky Folktale Fools Forgiveness Freedom Future gender Gentile Gentiles Glory Gnostic God gods Good Samaritan Goodness Gospel Government Grace Great Fast Guns Hate healing Health Heaven Hell Hellenism Heresy Hierarchy Hildegard Hinduism History Holiness Holy Spirit Holy Week Hope Horror Human rights humanity Humility hypocrisy ICE icon icons Identification Identity Idol II Nicea Immigration incarnation Individualism Informal Reflections Inklings Intention Inter-Religious Interfaith Internet Interpretation Intrinsic evil Irenaeus Islam Israel Jacob Jerome Jesus Jews John Chrysostom John of Damascus John the Baptist Joseph Judaism justice Justification kenosis Kindnesss Kingdom of God Kingdom of Heaven Law Law of Moses Lazarus Leaf by Niggle Lent Lenten Reflection Liberation Theology Lies Life Listen Literature Liturgy locutions Logic Logos Love Marriage Martyrs Mary Mass Maximos The Confessor Meanness Meditation Mercy Middle Path Migrants Mind Miracles Miriam Morals Moses Movies Music Muslims Myths Names Nationalism Native Americans New Year Nicea Nicholas Nothing Novatian Obedience Occam's Razor Ordination Origen Original Sin Orthodox orthopraxis Pagans Palamas Palm Sunday Paradise Paschaltide Paul Peace Pentecost person Peter piety PKD Plato pluralism Plurality Poem Poetry Poiltics Politics Poor Pope Pope Francis Pope Leo XIV Post Office Prayer Pride Pro-life Prodigal Son propaganda Prophecy Prophets Providence Putin Racism Reading Reason Reflection Refugees Relationships Religion Religion Series Religious Liberty Repent Republicans Rest Resurrection Rich Rites Russia Sacraments Saints Salvation Salvian Santa Science Scripture Self-Giving Sexuality Sibyl Sick Silence Sin Singlehood Social Justice Society Sodom Solovyov Speculations Spiritual Reflection St. Cyril of Alexandria St. Justin Martyr Suffering Sunday of the Paralytic Man Sunday of the Samaritan Woman Superhero Supreme Court Teaching Technology Thanksgiving The Father the Universe Theological Reflection Theology Theosis Theotokos Thomas Timaeus Time Tolerenace Tolkien Tradition Transfiguration Trinity Trump Truth Uncategorized Unity Universities USCCB Value Vatican II Vegetarian Vices Violence Virtue Vocations War Water Welcome Wisdom Womanhood Women Work World View Worship Writing Zacchaeus

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz