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Beyond Transactional Love: Loving Everyone

Beyond Transactional Love: Loving Everyone

Last updated on: October 19, 2025 at 2:02 am by Henry Karlson

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Beyond Transactional Love: Loving Everyone 2025-10-19T02:02:27-05:00 Henry Karlson

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fusion-of-horizons: Love And Care For Everyone / pxhere

Christ calls Christians to the path of salvation, to the way of radical love. We are told we must die to ourselves, that is, overcome all our self-serving ways which get in the way of the common good. That is, the love which Christ would have us follow is one which has us transcend our private interests. We are called to care for everyone, not just our friends and immediate family. We are not to be more concerned for those who care for us than those who do not. Our love is not meant to be transactional. We are to think of and promote the good of everyone, even for those who fight against us, those who we would classify as our “enemies.” We are expected to do better, to be better, than the way of fallen humanity:

And as you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful (Lk. 6:31-36 RSV)

Certainly, we should care for our family members and our friends, but, as Christ reminds us, we are to treat others with equal love. We should not only be concerned with those in our immediate circle of our friends, families, and associates, using our closeness to them as an excuse to ignore the needs of others. This is why Jesus has said that we must “hate” our family if they expect us to treat them and love them more than everyone else; it is not because we are to literally hate them, but rather, because we are to relativize the importance of family and note our obligation to love and do good in the world transcends familial interests. We are not to ignore the needs of others, such as immigrants, because they are not our family. That is, when Jesus told us to “hate” our family, we must understand he was being rhetorical, using exaggeration to make a point: if we find following Christ and his ways puts us in conflict with our friends or family, we must choose Christ’s ways over them, even if it means they tell us we are betraying them by not doing what they wish.

God wants us to reach out to everyone. Our associations with our friends and family, the bonds which we form with them, are real, and have value, but that value should not be used to undermine our obligation to love others. If we suggest we are to love our families first, and take care of them first, we have not properly grasped the universal love we are intended to have. If we need help in engaging others with the love they should have, we should begin looking at all of humanity as our own extended family. We should realize that everyone is, in a way, a brother and sister, mother and father to us.

Thus, if we follow after Jesus, we must reconsider our understanding of our social relationships; we will find we will have to go against the way we have been socialized to think concerning them. Ordinary people can and do show love to those who love them back. That is the way of unreformed love. For, even after the fall and sin, everyone still has in them the capacity to love, a capacity which cannot and will not be squashed. Even sinners know how to love. But the way of fallen love is not good enough. We are not to be so limited with our love. We are to love others in the way God loves them. Jesus shows us what this means in the way he spoke from the cross, showing his forgiveness and love even to those who were involved in his execution. We can also see this love demonstrated in the way Paul was brought into the Christian faith: Paul persecuted Christ by attacking Christ’s followers, and yet Christ did not give up on Paul. Christ revealed his love to Paul in a way Paul eventually understood, accepted, and once he accepted it, it transformed Paul so that he could become a true lover of God, one who, in the midst of that love, would experience various glorious (and transcendent) mysteries:

I must boast; there is nothing to be gained by it, but I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven — whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into Paradise — whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows — and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I wish to boast, I shall not be a fool, for I shall be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me (2 Cor. 12: 1-6 RSV).

Now, to be sure, when we love others, including those who persecute us, such love does not mean we are to do nothing when we, or others, are treated unjustly. We must promote justice and work on behalf of the vulnerable of society. Our care, our love, for sinners is that we should hope they will repent — we should not wish for their annihilation or eternal perdition, but we can still desire that they should have to deal with the consequences of their evil and work out the injustices they have committed. Our love for them will want them to be reformed, to be made good, but not in a manner which diminishes the injustices they have done. What our love for them does tell us, however, is that our call for justice must always include mercy. Justice without mercy is not truly just, but mere revenge. Loving others, including our enemies, helps us accept this. Thus, though we are called to everyone, we should not use such love to ignore injustices; rather, because of that love, we will feel even more the need to promote true justice; this is what Jesus taught and what the Christian tradition, since its inception, has promoted. This truth is exemplified in the teaching of the preferential option for the poor and vulnerable. Early Christians saw what that meant for themselves, because they were often the poor and vulnerable who needed such care; now, for those who are not, for those who are rich and powerful, the preferential option for the poor tells them it is imperative they look after and care for all those without wealth or power, no matter who they are and what they have done, and if they do not, they are to be warned they are abandoning the way of Christ, the way of love, and they risk losing everything thanks to their injustices.

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N.B.: While I read comments to moderate them, I rarely respond to them. If I don’t respond to your comment directly, don’t assume I am unthankful for it. I appreciate it. But I want readers to feel free to ask questions, and hopefully, dialogue with each other. I have shared what I wanted to say, though some responses will get a brief reply by me, or, if I find it interesting and something I can engage fully, as the foundation for another post. I have had many posts inspired or improved upon thanks to my readers.

General Christian

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